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Hi everyone I wanted to share my experience with Depersonalisation and Derealisation. I am hoping my experience can help others, who suffer this horrific condition, that most people don't understand, or could possibly ever relate to. I have always struggled with mental health issues of some sort ( mainly anxiety and depressive related symptoms ).

My first experience of dp was 18 years ago, going back 2002. I would often take ecstasy, at weekends, after a year of regularly taking clubs drugs it triggered my dp/dr. I can vividly remember one weekend taking ecstasy, then having a terrible panic attack, and the following morning everything had completely changed. I can remember feeling detached and disconnected from the world around me. My symptoms were chronic, I felt very spaced out. I felt light headed and disorientated and even sound felt distorted. The really bizarre symptom was it appeared time had slowed down considerably, I could see everyone around me walking in slow motion ( it felt like I was a bystander watching everything like I was in a movie set).

I just cannot articulate into words how horrific and distressing these symptoms were like. It felt like a nightmare, that I couldn't snap out of. These severe symptoms of dp/dr persisted for at least 5-6 years in a chronic state, without any relief at all. it was horrendous and no medication or any kind of help alleviated these distressing symptoms.

I didn't know how I had the will to carry on living in this horrendous state, as it literally destroyed me. In summary these dp/dr symptoms have persisted on and off until today. I have never been able to shake off this condition permanently. However, these days my symptoms of dp/dr are not bad like it was many years ago.

I still get the odd episode of dp/dr after 18 years, but thankfully, I can often go many months without having these symptoms. I can still get the odd episode, where it feels bad and lingers around for a week or two. I am mainly free of these symptoms.

I don't think I will ever be free of dp/dr because these symptoms have persisted on and off for the past 18 years. I'm so used to these symptoms now, that I don't obsess or panic over them. I have learnt to accept these feelings, as know these days they will pass and its not chronic like it was many years ago.

I feel very fortunate I can go many months without any symptoms and lead a normal life, because not everyone is fortunate, and many suffer with this for years and get no relief at all. There are certain things which can trigger off a dp episode for me. I cannot tolerate most medications they can instantly trigger it off. I am now relatively dp free and I only get these episodes every now and again, and luckily it doesn't bother me at all.

The advice I would recommend is do not obsess and think about these symptoms, because that just makes the dp dr much worse. You have to accept these feelings and not fight them, keeping busy and not focusing on it. I would advise anyone doing drugs to stay away from them, you will never heal your mind abusing substances. I had to learn the hard way to never touch drugs again.
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