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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
always alot on here and other forums about alcohol,and understandably so,to those that dont drink and have never drunk,good for you for being so strong,but to those that have drunk,before and after dp,you know where im coming from...
i watched a tv programme here in the uk the other night called 'my crazy parents' and guess what ,yep both parents of the families drank to alleviate the pain..

anyway...my drinking habits are as follows

i spend maybe 3 to 4 weeks of not drinking,i tell myself that i can beat this,i then get pissed off over some matter or another(mainly my feeling unreal and nervous),or mainly i just get bored,i then proceed to the pub ,i will drink a few glasses of white whine and soda and feel great! no listening to my thoughts,no anxiety,i feel wonderful and this is after 2 glasses..

day two i wake up feeling more detached than ever,i can hardly recognize my surroundings,i feel like death,so i sleep a little more,i tell myself that im not going to drink today,i finally get out of bed and im anxious as hell shaking sweating the complete works....i get on my bike and buy a bottle of wine,i put the wine in the fridge,its now 4 pm so i open the wine and feel better straight away,i suddenly feel energetic,i do the hoovering,the dusting the washing,i stop moping and just do 'stuff' this will last for about 4 days.....theres no real point to this thread other than the fact that i want to know why i cant feel like this without booze,minus the hangover....i will never be a full blown alcoholic as i start to hate the taste of booze after 4 days ,but in moderation its better than any medication or therepy...

thos that dont drink wont understand...but those that do...lets hear what you have to say
 

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Discussion Starter · #2 ·
always alot on here and other forums about alcohol,and understandably so,to those that dont drink and have never drunk,good for you for being so strong,but to those that have drunk,before and after dp,you know where im coming from...
i watched a tv programme here in the uk the other night called 'my crazy parents' and guess what ,yep both parents of the families drank to alleviate the pain..

anyway...my drinking habits are as follows

i spend maybe 3 to 4 weeks of not drinking,i tell myself that i can beat this,i then get pissed off over some matter or another(mainly my feeling unreal and nervous),or mainly i just get bored,i then proceed to the pub ,i will drink a few glasses of white whine and soda and feel great! no listening to my thoughts,no anxiety,i feel wonderful and this is after 2 glasses..

day two i wake up feeling more detached than ever,i can hardly recognize my surroundings,i feel like death,so i sleep a little more,i tell myself that im not going to drink today,i finally get out of bed and im anxious as hell shaking sweating the complete works....i get on my bike and buy a bottle of wine,i put the wine in the fridge,its now 4 pm so i open the wine and feel better straight away,i suddenly feel energetic,i do the hoovering,the dusting the washing,i stop moping and just do 'stuff' this will last for about 4 days.....theres no real point to this thread other than the fact that i want to know why i cant feel like this without booze,minus the hangover....i will never be a full blown alcoholic as i start to hate the taste of booze after 4 days ,but in moderation its better than any medication or therepy...

thos that dont drink wont understand...but those that do...lets hear what you have to say
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
by the way my binge drinking will last four days,i dont spend four days hoovering and cleaning
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
by the way my binge drinking will last four days,i dont spend four days hoovering and cleaning
 

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i understand the drinking stuff. basically i've self medicated with alcohol for years. i mean i've studied, worked, got a house etc but i've more often than not drank in the evening. anyway over the past 8 months or so the dp started getting worse, i mean with a hangover dps always much worse for me, but i found even if i only had a couple i was basically bringing on the dp. this wasnt a good cycle as then i would be looking forward to the evening to have a drink, as you said 1 would be enough, to escape the dp. anyway i cut the drinking out mostly and only had a few at the weekends but the dp hangovers seemed to be worse with this. did this for a few months and basically last time i had 2 pints after not drinking for a couple of weeks and had unbearable dp/depression in the morning. have had to quit
 

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i understand the drinking stuff. basically i've self medicated with alcohol for years. i mean i've studied, worked, got a house etc but i've more often than not drank in the evening. anyway over the past 8 months or so the dp started getting worse, i mean with a hangover dps always much worse for me, but i found even if i only had a couple i was basically bringing on the dp. this wasnt a good cycle as then i would be looking forward to the evening to have a drink, as you said 1 would be enough, to escape the dp. anyway i cut the drinking out mostly and only had a few at the weekends but the dp hangovers seemed to be worse with this. did this for a few months and basically last time i had 2 pints after not drinking for a couple of weeks and had unbearable dp/depression in the morning. have had to quit
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
the depression can be bad................
but its a funny old cycle

dp=depression=dp and on and on

alcohol=relief=no anxiety=bad hangover=depression

its hard to know which is worse
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
the depression can be bad................
but its a funny old cycle

dp=depression=dp and on and on

alcohol=relief=no anxiety=bad hangover=depression

its hard to know which is worse
 

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Hi Jc,

I know exactly what you are talking about. I went thru that cycle for a long time. The only way out is to quit drinking. It eventually does get better.

Joe
 

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Hi Jc,

I know exactly what you are talking about. I went thru that cycle for a long time. The only way out is to quit drinking. It eventually does get better.

Joe
 

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As usual, I'm going to throw the cat amoung the pigeons here.

I had a long chat with JC about this the other day. For years now, he has been apologising for his drinking who (and I know this from first had experience) is not someone who is a raging alcoholic who numbs himself with booze to banish his symptoms.

Yes, long term alcohol abuse is bad. We all know that. Look at it this way, in the short term at least - JC has a couple of pints (that's all) when his anxiety is crippling, and this enables him (without being drunk) to have a few hours of peace...he functions as a normal human being. What is wrong with that ? With 10 years of crippling anxiety and being virtually housebound, do you begrudge him that? I certainly don't.

Over the years there has been a cycle of JC being venmously attacked by ex-alcoholics and those who think the evil hop is one step away from having a serious crack habit, and he thinks he has to make a grovelling apology and becomes wracked with guit. Years and years this had been going on. Sure, JC has got to sort out the 'demons' that are haunting him without alcohol, which are preventing him to live a happy life....and remember, life is short. So until that day, while I obviously don't encourage his to reach the bottom of a bottle of vodka evertime he feels a bit anxious, I don't think less of him for having a couple of cans to alleviate his panic. Do we want him to embark on another fruitless 10 years of being palmed off by the pathetic mental health service in this country ? What a waste of life. As long as he doesn't get into the habit contunoulsy (and he doesn't -he's acutely aware of the dangers of booze, he's not a fool), I don't think he has to explain himself any further.

It makes me laugh when, in America let it be said, you are looked upon as little less than a paedophole is you spark up a *** or have a drink, but it's positively encouraged for people to walk around with Uzi's. Somethings very wrong.
 

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As usual, I'm going to throw the cat amoung the pigeons here.

I had a long chat with JC about this the other day. For years now, he has been apologising for his drinking who (and I know this from first had experience) is not someone who is a raging alcoholic who numbs himself with booze to banish his symptoms.

Yes, long term alcohol abuse is bad. We all know that. Look at it this way, in the short term at least - JC has a couple of pints (that's all) when his anxiety is crippling, and this enables him (without being drunk) to have a few hours of peace...he functions as a normal human being. What is wrong with that ? With 10 years of crippling anxiety and being virtually housebound, do you begrudge him that? I certainly don't.

Over the years there has been a cycle of JC being venmously attacked by ex-alcoholics and those who think the evil hop is one step away from having a serious crack habit, and he thinks he has to make a grovelling apology and becomes wracked with guit. Years and years this had been going on. Sure, JC has got to sort out the 'demons' that are haunting him without alcohol, which are preventing him to live a happy life....and remember, life is short. So until that day, while I obviously don't encourage his to reach the bottom of a bottle of vodka evertime he feels a bit anxious, I don't think less of him for having a couple of cans to alleviate his panic. Do we want him to embark on another fruitless 10 years of being palmed off by the pathetic mental health service in this country ? What a waste of life. As long as he doesn't get into the habit contunoulsy (and he doesn't -he's acutely aware of the dangers of booze, he's not a fool), I don't think he has to explain himself any further.

It makes me laugh when, in America let it be said, you are looked upon as little less than a paedophole is you spark up a *** or have a drink, but it's positively encouraged for people to walk around with Uzi's. Somethings very wrong.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
thankyou martin !
this is the perils of the internet,and actually talking face to face with 'said' person.....
assumptions can be made,i agree 100% that i do dip into the bottle,but im not ruinning my family,im not waking up in pools of piss,im not cracking open a bottle of vodka at 6am...

what im doing is thus...struggling with my symptoms and rather than joining the rest of the population in there after work 7 pints of beer,im abstaining,which is fuckin hard work,but after about 3 weeks i think 'fuck it i need a release' and out comes the chardonnay.....i think im doing pretty good actually,if im such a pisshead how did i manage today to clean the house from top to bottom,go for a cycle ride,cut the grass,water the flowers.....now this is not the sign of an alcoholic...but anyway,i dont care anymore its my journey and i will live it the way i feel fit
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
thankyou martin !
this is the perils of the internet,and actually talking face to face with 'said' person.....
assumptions can be made,i agree 100% that i do dip into the bottle,but im not ruinning my family,im not waking up in pools of piss,im not cracking open a bottle of vodka at 6am...

what im doing is thus...struggling with my symptoms and rather than joining the rest of the population in there after work 7 pints of beer,im abstaining,which is fuckin hard work,but after about 3 weeks i think 'fuck it i need a release' and out comes the chardonnay.....i think im doing pretty good actually,if im such a pisshead how did i manage today to clean the house from top to bottom,go for a cycle ride,cut the grass,water the flowers.....now this is not the sign of an alcoholic...but anyway,i dont care anymore its my journey and i will live it the way i feel fit
 

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I think you have to cope with dp in whatever way you can and if alcohol helps you, well then, in the moderation you seem to manage, maybe its some kind of useful tool.

The way I think about it though is this; dp, in some of its manifestations, seems to be a horrible and tortured sib-conscious disconnection from oneself, whereby one has, often unwittingly, squeezed oneself into a narrow slice of one's emotional range into a continual state of deadness, or anxiety or existential preoccupations or whatever.

From my experience of taking the therapeutic route to find a way to overcome it, you have to learn to connect with your whole self - the full emotional range of one's character - which takes a lot of time, energy, frustration and pain, but which does, again only from my experience, if you can survive it, seem to pay off.

The way I think drinking seems to help is by enabling you to disconnect from the dp. But according to my endearingly homespun, pearl-knitted theorising, in doing so, you are actually taking a further step away from yourself and are actually going further into the illness.

If you can stand it, I would suggest that you try to stretch the time between binges from 3 - 4 - 5 weeks, then you are in some way reclaiming more of yourself from the illness of disconnection. But then that's easy to say, especially when I happen to be in a good non-dp phase and anyway, what the Hell do I know. :?:

Good luck jc! Sarah x
 

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I think you have to cope with dp in whatever way you can and if alcohol helps you, well then, in the moderation you seem to manage, maybe its some kind of useful tool.

The way I think about it though is this; dp, in some of its manifestations, seems to be a horrible and tortured sib-conscious disconnection from oneself, whereby one has, often unwittingly, squeezed oneself into a narrow slice of one's emotional range into a continual state of deadness, or anxiety or existential preoccupations or whatever.

From my experience of taking the therapeutic route to find a way to overcome it, you have to learn to connect with your whole self - the full emotional range of one's character - which takes a lot of time, energy, frustration and pain, but which does, again only from my experience, if you can survive it, seem to pay off.

The way I think drinking seems to help is by enabling you to disconnect from the dp. But according to my endearingly homespun, pearl-knitted theorising, in doing so, you are actually taking a further step away from yourself and are actually going further into the illness.

If you can stand it, I would suggest that you try to stretch the time between binges from 3 - 4 - 5 weeks, then you are in some way reclaiming more of yourself from the illness of disconnection. But then that's easy to say, especially when I happen to be in a good non-dp phase and anyway, what the Hell do I know. :?:

Good luck jc! Sarah x
 

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I just wanted to add my two cents to this. The last doctor that I saw from April 2003-August 2004 (I am done seeing her now), pretty much came to the conclusion that my DP/Depression is mainly caused by alcohol. Now when I was in college (1998-2002) I drank heavily 2-4 times a week and it killed me. But I made it through, had a good time, was able to get through the DPed times, and graduated in four years. The first year out of school I drank pretty heavily 1-3 times a week (definitely on Friday and Saturday). Well, since seeing the above mentioned doctor I learned to cut my alcohol intake greatly. One, because I have a full-time, M-F, 40 hr. week job and can't afford to drink on the weekdays, but also cause I knew that if this is what is causing these horrible feelings, then I should learn to cut it down. Now, there has been times throughout the last couple years where I have stopped drinking for a month or so at a time, but I always come back to end up drinking. This is where I am in my life now and I am quite happy with it...I drink on occassion and when I do drink, I don't drink heavily and get baligerantly (spelling?) drunk like I used too. I watch how much I drink and make sure I don't have too much going on or anything super important going on the next day because I know I will feel like crap.
I drink in moderation and am going to want to do so probably for most of my life, cause I like it and it helps me relax. I know I may have to deal with some bad DP/Depression, but if I keep the amount drank low and allow for recovery time, then I will be cool.
Just my two cents. Take care,

Kelson
 

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I just wanted to add my two cents to this. The last doctor that I saw from April 2003-August 2004 (I am done seeing her now), pretty much came to the conclusion that my DP/Depression is mainly caused by alcohol. Now when I was in college (1998-2002) I drank heavily 2-4 times a week and it killed me. But I made it through, had a good time, was able to get through the DPed times, and graduated in four years. The first year out of school I drank pretty heavily 1-3 times a week (definitely on Friday and Saturday). Well, since seeing the above mentioned doctor I learned to cut my alcohol intake greatly. One, because I have a full-time, M-F, 40 hr. week job and can't afford to drink on the weekdays, but also cause I knew that if this is what is causing these horrible feelings, then I should learn to cut it down. Now, there has been times throughout the last couple years where I have stopped drinking for a month or so at a time, but I always come back to end up drinking. This is where I am in my life now and I am quite happy with it...I drink on occassion and when I do drink, I don't drink heavily and get baligerantly (spelling?) drunk like I used too. I watch how much I drink and make sure I don't have too much going on or anything super important going on the next day because I know I will feel like crap.
I drink in moderation and am going to want to do so probably for most of my life, cause I like it and it helps me relax. I know I may have to deal with some bad DP/Depression, but if I keep the amount drank low and allow for recovery time, then I will be cool.
Just my two cents. Take care,

Kelson
 
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