[estuff]

I'm 16 years old and male. I've smoked weed about 8 or ten times, sometimes I liked it but almost always i had thought loops/paranoia. About 4 weeks ago I took one bong hit with some friends after not smoking for several months so I had very little tolerance. I felt pretty tired and bad 10 mins after, Then 15 mins after I was starting to feel what I now know to be depersonalisation. It felt like I was watching a movie, and in that movie I was starting to have a bad trip. Then I realized it was real, I was slipping into a panic attack (Never had one before in my life, was truly the most terrifying experience of my life). I tried fight it by breathing/trying to meditate but it just kept getting worse. Last thing I saw before I blacked out were my friends all around me asking if they should call an ambulance and trying to calm me down. Once I blacked out (and apparently started convulsing) It got really bad. It only lasted about a minute but it felt like forever and I became convinced that I was dying or dead and my existence would be just pure terror for eternity (pretty fucked up huh). I woke up after the minute of being unconscious and started to feel better, but had minor panic attacks and didn't say a word for about 4 hours later. In the days following I felt depersonalization (i didn't know it was a thing so it was really scary) and had a couple small panic attacks. I smoked again about a week after the episode and then decided I'm gonna quit maybe forever or maybe just a couple years. Fast forward to today, The depersonalization is better, But I still feel disconnected and have weird thougths. I think about life and the universe a lot, I feel disconnected and like life is fake sometimes. Today I was in class and couldn't stop thinking about depersonalization and life and shit and I was sitting right next to one of my friends and talking to her but it just didn't seem real and I felt so disconnected. I wanted to just talk about it to someone or at least write down what is going on so hopefully I can just stop thinking about it.

 

[Grindelwald]

Yeah I had this happen to me as well. I got DP in like Feb or Jan if 2917, it lasted a couple months. I recovered fully, and on St. Patrick’s Day I decided to take a bong rip. Relapsed and has DP for about a year+ after that. Avoid weed at all costs.

 

[forestx5]

You had the most terrifying experience in your life on cannabis. You were convinced you were dying or dead. (convulsing). So you smoked again about a week later.

Fear not! You may just be the type who must learn the hard way.