Hey, my name is Elias. I'm pretty new to this forum! My english is not that good, so please don't hate meWell, in corona times like now, the appointments between the doctors are soooo long. And that's because i came to this forum. So i can chat with people who has the same suffering like me, and can say what helped them. Let's start with my story. It all started in December 2019 when i had terrible anxiety 24/7. After a while i noticed that something is weird. I couldn't enjoy things that anymore. I didn't took it seriously, so i just tough't that i just grow up, and ain't a kid anymore ^^ But this weird sensation got a little bit worse, so that i was like under a glass-panel. In january i already had light sensivity, and in february it got a LOT worse, don't know why. The danger that "caused" my anxiety was already over, but my brain was still messed up. Then it got out of nowhere a bit better, but never went away.
Well and since then, DP/DR has gotten my worst enemy and still remains to this minute i write this storyMarch, april, may, june it only got worse and worse, i showered cold, ate healthy, did sport and just tried to distract myself. It never went away...... My memory got worse and worse, motivation and my personality. I checked the internet, and tiped in: Feelings of unreality, memory is bad, personality is gone, my hands/feets don't look like they belong to me. Then i read Depersonalization/Derealization, and my symptoms fit in perfectly. Then in july it got again a LOT worse, like this weird "attack" in february. At the end of july i had enough, and went to my doctor. He diagnosed me with a generalized anxiety disorder, and said the DP/DR may link to the anxiety disorder, but never heard of it. Well, thank you. He prescribed me Paroxetin (Paxil). My "first" antidepressantThe first week of this stuff, was the most scariest time of my life. The DP/DR exploded, my voice sounded weird, memory litarally GONE, voices of other people sounded so disgusting and weird, people/places i knew looked unfamiliar, random zooming out in conversations. I sticked with Paroxetine 2 months, didn't do anything except making my DP/DR explode. Then i went to my doc again, said that Paxil didn't to a crap to me. Then he prescribed me Citaloprame (Celexa). Didn't do anything either. But the DP/DR got worse and worse, the light sensivity and hearing got unbearable. Then i got Fluoxetin (Prozac), no suceed, neither with Sertraline (Zoloft). After a while, he said he can't do anything for me so he transfered me to a Psychatrist. Psychatrist put me an Paxil again, but in a high dose. Well and again nothing. But atleast he heard of "Derealization" and said, because of my therapie resistant depression, he want's to prescribe me an atypical antipsychotic, Seroquel. It only knocked me out and made me super tired, so i stopped taking it. Then i got Sulpiride (Dolmatil), only made my DP/DR worse, but it get's worse anyway so i don't if it was Sulpirid that made it worse. Then i got Olanzapin (Zyprexa), (which i'm curently still taking since 12 days) but it hasn't an impact on me like the other ones. The next apointment whith my doc i have on april 7th, and an EEG on the 16th. Last week i somehow managed to get Lamotrigine (Lamictal), no doc here want's to prescribe me it. Don't know why all doctors have a problem with Lamictal. If the Olanzapin don't work, i will take Lamotrigine. But why does my DP/DR not go away?! i litereally tried EVERYTHING! It only get's worse and worse, with or without meds. Is there any meds i can try, wo saved you or a therapie, or even meditation? I listen to solfeggio frequencies every time before bed, don't to any impact on mePlease help me, since nearly 2 years i'm trapped in some kind of hell and can't seem to get out of it!!!
Well and since then, DP/DR has gotten my worst enemy and still remains to this minute i write this story