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Hi everyone,

I want to share my story of dpd/dr with you guys...I hope my story will be of any help to you all who also suffer from this disorder. I am now 17 years old and I am
almost recovered from my dpd/dr. When I first met this problem I was 12 years old. I went to a sportscamp and the first night I was not able to fall asleep. I then got out off bed with a panic attack and it felt like I went crazy because I saw every one around me falling asleep except me. I then woke my twin brother and asked him how he did to sleep... because I had the feeling like I wasn't able to sleep anymore... At that time I was anxious about sleep... it was horrible I would have panic attacks only with someone saying the word 'sleep'. But my sleeping anxiousness touched my brain also chemically (dpd/dr). I didn't feek like my old self and everything just seemed so weird in a way. But I was to little to tell myself that there was something weong with me. So I couldn't sleep anymore (by not being able to.sleep I mean I fell every single day asleep at 3 to 4 AM). Then after a year it completely went away. The second time I encountered this problem I was 15 years old. But I was depressed because I didn't have much friend at school because I changed from school for a year. Because I was socially anxious it also transformed itself into dpd/dr.(I sometimes am socially axious and sometimes I am totally not socially anxious) I asked myself why everything seemed so weird to me. Why did I feel like a alien?? Then it eventually went away after 4 to 5 month.
The third time I met this disorder my whole world turned upside down. It was hell on earth literally! One night I went to a monitor camp and I had a panic attack because off my sleeping anxious (although I had been a sleeping baby for 3 years). I completely fought it because I was at a difficult school and I had a girlfriend (to whom I had never told about me feeling unreal). And I completely depersonalised/derealised me. I was scared of sleep like I had never been before. Some nights I just had 0min of sleep (you guys may think I am.lying but no I am not). I was so scared of it that when I.woke up (when I woke up because like.I.told you sometimes I did not sleep at all) I had those terrible panic attacks. When I saw someone close there eyes I just went crazy... all these thoughts and anxious feeling were so strong. But then it was not only sleeping which gave me anxiety, I was anxious the whole day... just going to school made me go crazy. Also all the weird feelings you get with dpd/dr. I was suicidle because my whole world was turned upside down. I then decided to search on internet my biggest weird symptom: unreal. I then found the name 'depersanalisation'. It gave me some relieve. I then dared to talk about it to my parents and my mom directly looked for a psychiatrist. She found one of the best of my country (belgium). I was so happy that there was a cure. I then had my first meeting last febuary. She told me not to fight my fears and feelings. I had to whrite everything donwn I felt and thought. So I wrote every single feeling and thought. I first thought 'well this doesn't work'. But my psychiatrist told me to keep going. I did, I kept going. After a month I felt already a big improvement. I slept a little better (because in this disorder sleep I my worst fear, I hope it doesn't disturb you guys. I just feek like opening up to you). I.kept going with writing and after july I woke up and I felt fresh like I hadn't felt for 6 months. (I know 6 months is fast). I am almost cured. I still have a little bit of anxiety throughout the day, but way less then I had before. So what really helped me out was this: don't fight you fears, go into them. Write every single felling/thought down! It will be hard and really unpleasent, but it will eventually pay off. It took me about 4 months to feel 'myself' again. So it is hard and at the beginning you will think 'this doesn't work' but it does. Trust me I know what you guys are going through and it is horrible, but one day you will feel better. Keep this in mind! So if you giys have any furthur questions, feel free to.ask. I don't want to play the psychiatrist, but if I can help only one of you it will please like you have no idea!
Good luck to you all!


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Lichaart
Feb 23 2017 09:45 AM

so what did you do with the psychiatrist ?
 
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