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I'm not going to lie, I was a really cute kid. Then again, who wasn't right? I'm going to breifly describe my childhood and I really hope no one reading this is judgemental. I just don't want any offensive comments being left on the bottom.
So, I'll start of with the basics, my parents are divorced, they hate each other. Every weekend I got to go see my dad, but he never showed up. I would just awkwardly sit at my grandma's house being stuffed with food asking her where my baba is, and she would just pretend like she didn't hear me. Obviously now I know he just purely didn't give two shits about me at the time.
My dad is a very abusive man, I choose my words carefully when I say that, because people say he's changed and to give him a chance, but I know very well how he is. He will never change. Because he simply can't, his nature is something we all see as wrong whereas to him it must feel right. And no matter the situation, no one can truly change there natural ways. My dad has given me countless amounts of traumatic events, starting from a young age, keep in mind I'm still talking about my child hood. He's mentally abused me, to the point where any little thing I did was wrong. I was on my toes 24/7 from fear that he would once again, be in my face spitting from anger poking me and telling me things like "I can be the devil if I wanted". Something I always questioned is why the rest of my family just watched everything happen and did nothing about it. My Grandma witnessed me talk to myself from loneliness because of how much he caged me up. The rest of my family just enforced his rules and ways upon me, when what they really should have done is realized that being the little girl that I was, I didn't behave like a "normal" little girl. They all contributed into something in ways they would have perceived as "helpful" but in reality all they were going was tearing the petals off my rose.
My father was on drugs. I don't know what drugs, I don't think it matters. But I thought I'd put that in there too.
I've given a little outline of my father and my fathers side of the family so now I'll begin with my mum.

Before my mum had me or met my father, she was one of those gorgeous model looking women. She was bright, happy, beautiful. My dad went up to Cyprus to find himself a wife and obviously came across my mum. They fell in love, blah blah blah you may kiss the bride. They flew back down to Australia. She eventually saw his true colors After a while of being with him. While being pregnant with me my dad was beating her. She fled from home with no where to go, not knowing any English. Lost in this new world so different from the one she was used to. She eventually found housing in a high rise with the help of human services. As I was getting a little older, around the age of 5 to 7, I would observe my mum's behavior. She was so depressed it kills me now thinking about. I used to write her letters saying "I love you be happy please" all the time. She's kept majority of them all. I was very confused seeing my mum like that. She would cry so much.. She eventually got into a less depressive mind set and started to search for a new man. She cycled through heaps, all of them using her. I would always just watch, not knowing what to do. My mums developed some sort of paranoia or trust issues. Even against me, she's broken my heart countless amounts of times, because she couldn't pull her self of the wreck she was in. I don't blame her, but at the end of the day, she let her problems come in between mine and her relationship.

At one stage she got so bad that She couldn't take care of me anymore. She had to let me go to live at my grandma's knowing the type of house hold it was.

I will continue this later on.
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