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Seven years ago, when I was still a child, I had my first depersonalization experience. I was in a difficult period and I had a lot of stress, so I had momentarily bothered by dp. After two days it was gone... I thought. A year later, again, something happened that gave me a lot of stress and anxiety. The dp gradually came back, not so severe, only in certain situations. During a holiday I got a severe attack of dp and since then it started to become a problem. Meanwhile, my life became a living hell by different events which actually still persist. From then started the dp as it is now: some periods I have not much experience, in other periods I have so much experience that I can't get out of my house.

In the beginning I didn't know what was wrong with me, I thought there was a deviation in my brains or that I was becoming crazy. That was why I hadn't been to the doctor immediately; I couldn't and dind't dare to explain the strange feelings I felt. Then it really became a problem, I finally went. The first and only explanation of the doctor was: anxiety attacks. I couldn't really find me in that, it felt much stranger than just anxiety attacks, so I kept calling it the strange feeling. I was referred to a psychiatrist, who thought I was just suffering from hyperventilation and didn't listen to me. Two years passed and nothing happened, and the dp was getting worse. Last summer I had a severe dp period and after I had seen a documentary about mental health disorders, I began to search the Internet, even if that is not the right way. The doctor said I had anxiety attacks, I looked it up, I came out on agoraphobia, and after a long search, I suddenly came upon the answer: depersonalization and derealization. They are such simple names, yet it took me seven years to find them.

I wanted to tell my psychiatrist, but she had then already (finally) found. She gave me medication, but in the meantime I was back in a dp-free period and I stopped. Then she referred me to the hospital for examination and counseling, but I soon realized that they couldn't help me. But my psychiatrist becomes less and less believe in dp and doesn't take me seriously. I've had enough of people just think I'm nervous, I tried to get professional help, but it doesn't work that way. So, that was it, I wish you all the best.
 
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