Mushrooms

Just guna put some links to people helped by psilocybin, more for my benefit than anyone else:

http://www.dpselfhelp.com/forum/index.php?/topic/27895-magic-mushrooms-cured-me/

http://www.dpselfhelp.com/forum/index.php?/topic/43257-i-found-the-cure-im-150-recovered/

https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/18721956

http://hppdonline.com/topic/2114-mushrooms-and-a-cure-for-dpdr/

https://www.reddit.com/r/dpdr/comments/2j89bn

FYI there are as many bad trip stores that started peoples DPD as there are good ones that cured it... rarely see 'weed cured my dpd' tho... but psilocybin could be helpful I believe, it starts neurogenesis and switches off brain regions, specifically the vmfc- believed to be suppressing emotions in PTSD and more importantly DPD. I am going to start low about 1g truffles and wait four days, then 2g... seeing how I feel and go from there. Going to try meditation during these times. My new meditation is 'don't change a thing'... dont change where my attention is or my thoughts.. any thoughts are fine, if I try and change how I feel or think, it never turns out how I want, it just adds more stress. Anyway, will update that here. Should be starting next week hopefully

So I started microdosing truffles yesterday.. I experienced far more nausea than I anticipated so for the next dose am making a tea and not eating it as the chitin in the cell walls can supposedly cause most of the nausea... that was yesterday though

I am currently probably going through the most difficult time of my life. I am not going to get into details, but the psilocybin has definitely had an impact on me. I feel slightly clearer headed and the DR/colours look better. Bear in mind I am also taking Lions Mane mushroom as well which has had an effect. I have also progressed a lot further with my therapy so that is also a bonus. It is day 2 so nothing much to write home about and I wasn't expecting there to be. But all in all positive, and won't expect to see much until after a week or two. Will update here

Took some more today and will aim to dose every other day within the 1g-2g region. Made tea but still felt quite nauseas so had to lie in bed for a couple of hours, so 2g fresh truffles is too high for me. However, after the nausea passes I do feel in a better mood. I feel more embodied, and am enjoying listening to music more. Less intrusive thoughts. Bit more energy to do things. No tripping although again some slight weirdness when I close my eyes and the nausea is a bit intense so will be dropping the dose to 1g the next day.. this should mean I have enough for 3months now if I dose every other day 1g and don't trip.

Tripping is still quite a scary idea to me for now, but I am open minded to doing it further down the line as there have been many stories I have read that really do sound like miracles (recovering from ptsd or 30 years of depression, stopping a stammer after many years, tinnitus disappearing, suppressed memories).. equally there are stories of psychosis or HPPD so I am just dipping my toes in for now but have to say it is looking positive.. also weirdly the day after the dose seems to be 'the sweet spot' for me. One theory says that 5HTP2a receptors down regulate after Psilocybin - these receptors have also been found to be too HIGH in depressed patients and patients who committed suicide

OK took 7g of truffles last night. While I would not say that I 'tripped' it was still an amazing experience. My body felt heavy and I could really FEEL it. I felt genuinly happy and comfortable, no psychosis, paranoia or visuals so nothing to write home about. There was a whoozy effect but oddly still felt more repersonalized and less DR.

But even today I feel better. Clearer headed and in a better mood and less tense. Also my hearing improved when listening to music du ring the trip. Hard to explain but it's like I'm always listening in mono (in my head). But then something switched and I could simultaneously listen to all the instruments at once.. just a really relaxing and anxiety free experience.

I will be tripping properly when I can next.. might be after Xmas though. I'm hoping this will give me the 'reboot' they talk about. Psilocybin switches down the mpfc which is overactive in dp. It also switches down the hypothalamus which might be involved in dpd. After one really positive experience and days of good experiences microdosing I am looking forward to it.

Strangely I experienced some effect from lions mane immediately (less DR).. but also took theanine at the time but have had that before. That immediacy wore off but still taking it 4 weeks on and expect it to help.. little by little I think it's helping, but the effects are so gradual it's going to creep up on me I think and will be better to compare how I felt 3 months ago rather than days/weeks. Smell is also improving.. something that has been weaker since dp for me.

I will update the trip here yes. The 7g dose was just a really pleasant experience. And quietened down my mind allowing me to actually feel, hear and see what was happening as opposed to thinking, comparing and ultimately resisting what my senses are telling me (which I believe makes them worse!). That analytical judgement of senses as opposed to purely being there with them as they are.. I've understood that for a long time but supplements and meds didn't help and meditation only marginally stopped that over thinking mental energy as opposed to the emotional direct sensing of my environment.

Good to know lions mane helps you too! It brings people's sense of smell back and heals depression/anxiety. It's subtle effects need to be felt overtime. I took too much once and it isn't nice; anhedonia, fatigue, restlessness and irritability. What you would expect from a kappa agonist, but it did slightly improve DR.. The issue being that it isn't worth those side effects so a gradual approach is best I feel.

Modafinil is in my cupboard, I keep meaning to go back to it but the insomnia sucked and I couldn't eat a thing whilst taking it. Maybe I should try and push through that.

I've read mpfc is overactive in DP Yeh and also ptsd which I believe more correlated with dpd. People with ptsd get dissociation and DP fairly commonly, depression not so much. The mpfc is involved with self and suppressing emotions supposedly. But memory and other things..

Yeh accessing memories on psilocybin is true. I had a small dose of 2g and the next day had a repressed memory come up that was quite bad and significant to why I have dpd I think.

Wow I like the sound of the last paragraph. It's 2 days since I took 7g and I still feel the effects today. Unlike weed it is a clean high and I just feel more emotionally attached and embodied and my hearing and concentration are better. Also I am having some small insights into my personality and why I am stuck this way.. meditation has also improved

Had another amazing experience last night. Took 7g but hadn't microdosed the previous 4 days so my tolerance was back to normal. Was watching a documentary called 'natural world'.. had some bad nausea prior to it hitting. Then had some fits of laughter, proper laughter til I cried... I haven't laughed like that in years. Then had some amazing visuals aka 'fractals'. Impossible to describe but basically really colourful geometric shapes. I felt incredible compassion and awe at this documentary I was watching.

My body felt heavy and relaxed and just warm and cozy. I felt imbodied and safe rather than scared and detached. The visuals were moderate and dealable for me,I really enjoyed them. But if you don't know what to expect could be quite scary I guess.. I mean you could convince yourself you've lost your mind so you totally have to be comfortable with whatever they throw at you.. it was a really incredible experience and again am feeling the afterglow effect.

Today DP and DR seems lessened. Not gone away. But I think a major part of it is my general mood. Having incredible experiences like that on a semi regular basis can't be a bad thing. I am still quite hopeful about this. Had amazing insights into myself and personal relationships as well during the trip. Was able to think about things from a new perspective, in a compassionate and empathetic way. Not the usual myopic narrstive all about 'me'.. will update again here in a week or two