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Told my T today that I feel like I can't be adult in the session. I feel very adolestant. I couldn't quite get to what I was thinking or feeling exactly. My T said that I am moving to fast and need to take a step back. I didn't realise really that it was effecting me until we talked about it. I wanted to numb out a few times but its as though I am to aware to do that at the moment. I feel caught between wanting to go back into my little world, and being here in the present. ITs a very strange situation for me right now. All very new. Part of me is afraid that I will have to stay present for ever now, and part of me is afraid that I will numb out again. Geez what have I started!
 

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yeah. that's exactly what my therapist was telling me today, over and over: go slow.
go slow? what does this mean, exactly?
i tell stories and i blank out in the middle of them. my mind shuts down after 'once upon a time.' sometimes i even screw up easy words or grammar, like i have broca's aphasia or something.
he wants me to go slow. yet sometimes i feel like i've come to a screeching halt.
 
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I think I know exactly what you mean.

Do you find yourself torn between living in memories/the past and the future?
 

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They want you to be conscious -- in the NOW moment -- of what you are feeling in the now moment. That's what they mean by slowing down. In other words, "stay with" what you are talking about and feel whatever you feel consciously. That is, be aware of what you are feeling IN THE MOMENT. That's all. Don't analyze what's happening. Just open yourself to the "now" moment and what emotions you are feeling.

If you are talking rapidly, as if you were racing three blocks to catch a bus, you cannot attend to what you are experiencing in the moment.

DP is avoidance of the "now" moment. Therapy is a place to experience what it's like to be IN that moment and feel safe, even though it may be painful. You basically trust the therapist and let him or her lead you to be aware of what you are feeling in the moment. This is FEELING, not THINKING, so stop 'yer analyzing, will 'ya?

:wink:
 

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That is interesting. 'Do you find yourself torn between living in memories/the past and the future?' No I don't. I do try to be 'in the moment' but its so fuzzy I dont know what I feel 'in the moment' - fuzzy I guess. Why don't I know what I feel 'in the moment' is it 'cos of the DP? I assume so.
 
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