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Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous
reviewed by your friendly neighborhood dalai lama

Among the many good reasons for seeing this movie:

1. You have, like me, a little family owned cinema within walking distance that you always try to support,

2. You need a reason to postpone making the final decision to not walk your dog because--even though you have had many pleasant walks on nights like tonight all bundled up and cozy with Orion bright in the sky and snow blowing in your face and swirling around the streetlights and the dog bouncing around joyfully scooping up mouthfuls of the stuff--you have gotten too used to the idea that winter is finally over to face it one more time.

3. You have found yourself mumbling to yourself, "I fucking hate you I fucking hate you," with more frequency than usual and sometimes sitting in a movie theater, in front of any movie, gives some brief respite from both hater and hated.

4. You need an excuse to sit alone and eat a pound of twizzlers.

5. You may be prompted (while doing the right thing and walking the dog after, even though you didn't replace the winter gloves he chewed up because winter was over) to imagine amusing a friend with a list of reasons to see some stupid movie, which then might prompt you--after realizing again that you have no friends to try to amuse--to expend more energy than you have for a few months on anything not mandatory and string together a handful of sentences and then post them on a web site for the mentally mixed up.

Next week I'll be reviewing Because of Winn Dixie. Until then, stop eating popcorn because frankly that crunch-crunch sound, kernel by kernel, drives me insane and I have to either leave the theater or go sit by myself in the front row.
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