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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hey everyone,

I've had DPDR for 2 months now from a bad weed experience, and for the most part I am completely out of it luckily. However, the thoughts are still messing with me. In particular, I was browsing youtube about a week ago and came across a Joe Rogan podcast where he mentions that his friend got high on salvia and lived for 4 months in his head before coming back (although I didn't realize that apparently he was a sea creature or something that whole time). That thought scared the shit out of me as I started to imagine if I tripped on the weed (I know, it's stupid...) and that I'm living a normal life all in my head and none of this is actually happening. Even though it's nonsensical and all the evidence points to me being in reality, I can't shake the idea that technically I can't know whether or not something this crazy is happening.

I know that at the end of the day it's just my mind latching onto another thought to validate its disconnection from my emotions and others, but it feels like more than a thought, and I can't stand the prospect of living an entire "fake" life just to wake up at the end in the real reality. It completely demotivates me from pursuing my relationships and interests because they don't feel real. Anyways, has anyone struggled with this particular idea or something similar?

I hope everyone's having a good day, I just needed to vent haha.

Thank you
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Thank you for your response. I'm upset that I ran into that because I feel like it upended my recovery and made things feel even more meaningless. Is there anything that has helped you manage your symptoms?
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Those are very good points. I guess at the end of the day if I were just tripping then it would all have to be conjured up in my head, and everything is too normal for it to be a trip/dream. I've definitely noticed through all of this that my mind will always find a way to try and trap me by transcending logic and making its own rules, so I think I need to work harder on reengaging like you said and being a healthier person both physically and mentally. Thank you for your response, I appreciate it
 

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Thank you for your response. I'm upset that I ran into that because I feel like it upended my recovery and made things feel even more meaningless. Is there anything that has helped you manage your symptoms?
Huge one is meditation. Other than that I focus on enjoying the simple things in life. A cup of coffee/tea. A simple conversation with a close friend or family. A nostalgic song. Things like that get me by.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
I definitely want to try and get into meditation, any tips on where to start?

I'm going to do my best to appreciate the little things. It seems like DPDR attempts to define and describe reality before you even experience reality, and it feels like a constant struggle to reintroduce the logic and reasoning over and over again. But it seems to get just a little bit better every day
 

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I definitely want to try and get into meditation, any tips on where to start?

I'm going to do my best to appreciate the little things. It seems like DPDR attempts to define and describe reality before you even experience reality, and it feels like a constant struggle to reintroduce the logic and reasoning over and over again. But it seems to get just a little bit better every day
So the first thing I want to say is that meditation in general is for your mind/spirit as working out at a gym is for the body. There are very various meditation techniques out there. I'd say the best one to begin with is simply watching your lungs breathe. Don't even worry about posture while meditating, you can do it sitting in a chair, traditional folding of legs, you can even do it laying down or whatever else.

It doesn't have to be for a long duration of time. 15 minutes one or two times per day is a great pace to start. If you feel like sitting an extra 5-10 minutes then feel free. Don't place too many rules on your method.

You'll likely find it difficult to continue holding your focus on your breathing. Don't be hard on yourself, just bring your attention back to your breath. This, as I said in the simile, will increase your ability to concentrate, building your mental faculties.

This method will also probably put you into a more relaxed state of mind. And then there is "mindfulness", which is basically meditating while doing daily activities, at work for example. Just realize randomly that you can take a moment and just notice your breathing. It's a good stress relief tool to have as well.

On a side note: Music can be a great way to help you get more into the meditative zone. I don't recommend the "guided meditations" on youtube. But there are some great tracks out there, such as ambient videos. Myself, I prefer more Nordic inspired ambience, or there's a Native American Flute album I sometimes play on Spotify.
 

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If you were dreaming all of this, there would be inconsistencies everywhere. Computer operating systems wouldn't work in a consistent, predictable ways. Devices like light switches would be able to be 'tricked' into malfunctioning by playing with them and testing them. Physics toys such as tops would spin longer than the laws of physics allow, or maybe not spin at all.
Can confirm. I lucid dream often, and all kinds of nonsensical shit happens in dreams.
 
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I had this kind of thinking on another level . if you want I can tell you but I dont want you to get more scared because what I have been through was absolutely terrifying and I was pretty sure I am going crazy
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
So the first thing I want to say is that meditation in general is for your mind/spirit as working out at a gym is for the body. There are very various meditation techniques out there. I'd say the best one to begin with is simply watching your lungs breathe. Don't even worry about posture while meditating, you can do it sitting in a chair, traditional folding of legs, you can even do it laying down or whatever else.

It doesn't have to be for a long duration of time. 15 minutes one or two times per day is a great pace to start. If you feel like sitting an extra 5-10 minutes then feel free. Don't place too many rules on your method.

You'll likely find it difficult to continue holding your focus on your breathing. Don't be hard on yourself, just bring your attention back to your breath. This, as I said in the simile, will increase your ability to concentrate, building your mental faculties.

This method will also probably put you into a more relaxed state of mind. And then there is "mindfulness", which is basically meditating while doing daily activities, at work for example. Just realize randomly that you can take a moment and just notice your breathing. It's a good stress relief tool to have as well.

On a side note: Music can be a great way to help you get more into the meditative zone. I don't recommend the "guided meditations" on youtube. But there are some great tracks out there, such as ambient videos. Myself, I prefer more Nordic inspired ambience, or there's a Native American Flute album I sometimes play on Spotify.
Thank you so much for the tips, I will try this out today! I think it will be very helpful for me to just be present and focused, more relaxed
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
I had this kind of thinking on another level . if you want I can tell you but I dont want you to get more scared because what I have been through was absolutely terrifying and I was pretty sure I am going crazy
I appreciate the warning haha, I'd rather not know the details since I got myself into this situation by being too nosey about my symptoms. If possible, would you be able to share how you were able get through those thoughts? I feel like my mind has trapped me, and the only way to get past this particular thought is if I forgot I had the thought to begin with, which is impossible. I hate the feeling that I have to trust that I'm in reality even though I know I'm in reality. It's definitely disturbing and scary, but I feel more hopeless and apathetic than anything. Maybe it will go away on its own over time (I've only had the thought for about a week and a half), but right now I just don't know what to do...
 

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I appreciate the warning haha, I'd rather not know the details since I got myself into this situation by being too nosey about my symptoms. If possible, would you be able to share how you were able get through those thoughts? I feel like my mind has trapped me, and the only way to get past this particular thought is if I forgot I had the thought to begin with, which is impossible. I hate the feeling that I have to trust that I'm in reality even though I know I'm in reality. It's definitely disturbing and scary, but I feel more hopeless and apathetic than anything. Maybe it will go away on its own over time (I've only had the thought for about a week and a half), but right now I just don't know what to do...
in my case when it was the worst it was because of the ativan ...I took half an ativan on a panic attack and after a few days BOOM .....you dont want to know what I have been through in those days .

with time it went away but I also took antipsychotics for a while which I dont think are necessary for you because my case was a bit different

but I will give you 3 small tricks which will make it better ...at least temporarily so but you can apply them often so you will have some relief often

1. take a ball or something else doesnt matter . can be a key or whatever it doesnt matter . put it in a specific place while someone who you trust sees it too . and ask that person to ask you after a few hours or days (it is up to you to chose the time ) to ask you where you have hidden the ball/key . and then you will go to the place and show him where you placed it an will give it to him/her

trust me it sounds weird but it does help

2. talk about the past with a friend or family member and get a reassurance from him/her and also let the person ask you questions about it

for example :

you say : "do you remember when simon was so drunk that he pulled his pants down and ran around 10 years ago ? "

him/her : "oh yes I remember that it was very funny"

or

him/her : "what happened on the birthday party of frank 3 years ago ? "

you : *telling everything you remember"

him/her : "thats correct"

or

him/her : "where did we go to on my birthday 4 years ago where we had a good time ?"

you : "to the herpderp bar and we met jeff and cathie there too "

him/her : "thats true"

something like that . just talk about old times with people you love and which whom you have been through certain events or whatever

-------------------

3. go to places where you have been before and where you have experienced certain things . when you go there try to depict in your brain what happened there
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
If it helps you feel any better, metaphysical questions like the ones you're asking are normal, and so is feeling anxious about them. You might remember having similar thoughts when you were younger. It's not necessary to react to the thoughts, or to believe they'll last forever.
For sure, that's reassuring, thank you. It's so hard not to constantly react by reminding myself I am in fact in the real world, because by not reacting it appears to myself as if I have accepted that I am in this realm. On the other hand, I have very slowly been letting go of it, and I trust that at some point it will fade away, I'm keeping my hopes up. Thank you for your comment
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
in my case when it was the worst it was because of the ativan ...I took half an ativan on a panic attack and after a few days BOOM .....you dont want to know what I have been through in those days .

with time it went away but I also took antipsychotics for a while which I dont think are necessary for you because my case was a bit different

but I will give you 3 small tricks which will make it better ...at least temporarily so but you can apply them often so you will have some relief often

1. take a ball or something else doesnt matter . can be a key or whatever it doesnt matter . put it in a specific place while someone who you trust sees it too . and ask that person to ask you after a few hours or days (it is up to you to chose the time ) to ask you where you have hidden the ball/key . and then you will go to the place and show him where you placed it an will give it to him/her

trust me it sounds weird but it does help

2. talk about the past with a friend or family member and get a reassurance from him/her and also let the person ask you questions about it

for example :

you say : "do you remember when simon was so drunk that he pulled his pants down and ran around 10 years ago ? "

him/her : "oh yes I remember that it was very funny"

or

him/her : "what happened on the birthday party of frank 3 years ago ? "

you : *telling everything you remember"

him/her : "thats correct"

or

him/her : "where did we go to on my birthday 4 years ago where we had a good time ?"

you : "to the herpderp bar and we met jeff and cathie there too "

him/her : "thats true"

something like that . just talk about old times with people you love and which whom you have been through certain events or whatever

-------------------

3. go to places where you have been before and where you have experienced certain things . when you go there try to depict in your brain what happened there
This is very helpful, thank you for taking the time to lay these tips out for me. Memories of others and continuity from before the bad weed experience to now have definitely helped keep me more grounded. I'll try the ball/key one as well. How is your DPDR now?
 

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This is very helpful, thank you for taking the time to lay these tips out for me. Memories of others and continuity from before the bad weed experience to now have definitely helped keep me more grounded. I'll try the ball/key one as well. How is your DPDR now?
no problem

my dp/dr is 70-80% gone . sometimes it does still hit and bother me though . but what bothers me the most right now is my health anxiety and some obsessive thoughts . but even though I dont take meds right now I am doing ok

I hope to push further and become better with time and will try to find a good therapist . I hope to start 2020 with a better mind
 

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From my own experiance, every bizzare or profound thought ive had ive been able to overcome because ill find ways to disprove them and reconnect to reality. This is usually a longish process because your brain is soooo convinced this thought is true or valid. But eventually you find inconsistencies and you can let it go and most of them are actually irrational.
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
no problem

my dp/dr is 70-80% gone . sometimes it does still hit and bother me though . but what bothers me the most right now is my health anxiety and some obsessive thoughts . but even though I dont take meds right now I am doing ok

I hope to push further and become better with time and will try to find a good therapist . I hope to start 2020 with a better mind
That's good to hear that it's mostly gone. Do you find that you are calm but dealing mostly just with the thoughts? I've been working on your advice, it definitely helps but obviously I'm my own worst enemy and my mind continues to find ways to undermine my progress. It's as if logic has no place in DPDR... But I guess I'm still new to the experience and I'm doing my best to stay positive that given enough time this thought process will wither away
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
From my own experiance, every bizzare or profound thought ive had ive been able to overcome because ill find ways to disprove them and reconnect to reality. This is usually a longish process because your brain is soooo convinced this thought is true or valid. But eventually you find inconsistencies and you can let it go and most of them are actually irrational.
It's amazing how something as small as a single thought can map itself onto reality and appear as if it exists outside of my head. That's reassuring to know it's possible to overcome thoughts like this. Did you have like a break through moment where the thought finally disappears, or did you eventually just kind of forget about it?
 

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That's good to hear that it's mostly gone. Do you find that you are calm but dealing mostly just with the thoughts? I've been working on your advice, it definitely helps but obviously I'm my own worst enemy and my mind continues to find ways to undermine my progress. It's as if logic has no place in DPDR... But I guess I'm still new to the experience and I'm doing my best to stay positive that given enough time this thought process will wither away
I am a lot calmer than last year (where I had the worst period) but I am still not nearly as calm as I wish I was

"logic has no place in DPDR"

YES ! thats also what I say and found out . logic doesnt work . thats exactly why those tricks I was giving you help . because they make you SEE things . when you are in full dp mode you lose belief in your senses too . the mind tells you that you are going crazy and that things you see are not real . but when you take action and say "I know I put this ball there and I will go and take it" you are proving yourself that you know what you are doing .

it is highly important that you lower your anxiety too . it is also important that you know that you will NOT go crazy . trust me . I was very sure I am losing my mind in 2018 . I dont want to describe to you exactly what I have been through because it will make you scared .

you have to know that in the worst case scenario you can still take some medication which will put you out of this . I took some antipsychotics which helped . it is not possible that you will go insane . and trust me if I have come over it then anybody can .
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
I am a lot calmer than last year (where I had the worst period) but I am still not nearly as calm as I wish I was

"logic has no place in DPDR"

YES ! thats also what I say and found out . logic doesnt work . thats exactly why those tricks I was giving you help . because they make you SEE things . when you are in full dp mode you lose belief in your senses too . the mind tells you that you are going crazy and that things you see are not real . but when you take action and say "I know I put this ball there and I will go and take it" you are proving yourself that you know what you are doing .

it is highly important that you lower your anxiety too . it is also important that you know that you will NOT go crazy . trust me . I was very sure I am losing my mind in 2018 . I dont want to describe to you exactly what I have been through because it will make you scared .

you have to know that in the worst case scenario you can still take some medication which will put you out of this . I took some antipsychotics which helped . it is not possible that you will go insane . and trust me if I have come over it then anybody can .
Something that has seemed to bother me the most is the frustration I feel around this particular thought. The idea that my mind always finds a way to define my reality this way, and that technically nobody can define reality for me, it is up to me to accept reality based on my own senses (that I have trouble trusting like you said). I get frustrated at myself for snooping around the internet and finding that podcast, I even get frustrated at the podcast itself for saying that. Every time I have to face this thought and tell myself that this is impossible to be true, I feel like the thought wins. It's just extremely frustrating...
 
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