[Guest]

After oversleeping a bit this morning (10 or 11 hours) I woke up into my room which must have been about 40 degrees (not an exaggeration). Almost immediately I found myself in one of the worst panic attacks of my life. I just huddled under my sheets, trying to hide from the cold, and totally freaking out. I mustered the energy to get up and shower, get some breakfast and only until about 2 or 3 hours after I got up did I calm down.

I was flipping out so much I couldn't even get up to grab my bottle of klonopin. I HATE mornings and I hate this fucking disease. Now...in the extremely awful state i'm in, i must start a 15 page term paper due in two days.

Anyone else feel like if they could just stop their life and spend time with friends and family for an extended amount of time without uni or work they could recover. I think we all need to put our lives on hold and regain as much as we can.

 

[g-funk]

I found mornings to be tough, because they are a) a big old let down if you felt fine when you went to bed and b) a 'predictor' (to you - but not in reality) of how your whole day will be that is hard to shake off

I commend everyone who is able to get up at all and attempt an essay. I am not saying I was worse, or you could be worse, I just couldn't have done that in the morning, or at any time in fact. We all have our strengths and weaknesses.

Anyway, so I 'took time out' to assess it all. BIG MISTAKE. My dp is obsessional, so all I did was obsess. BIG TIME. If your dp is anything like that, throw yourself into that damn essay. If you are truly maxed out and can say for sure a rest would do you good then go for it but don't drop your life for this illness. Don't give in.

It's so weird how this affects everybody differently, when at my worst a few months back, there was no way I could even consider breakfast. In fact I couldn't think about food at all because I would start thinking about how much I normally love eating, then how much weight I had lost, then how much that indicated how 'ill' I was, which scared me and made me feel even less hungry. My heart beat was so fast and the constant butterflies in the stomach made it impossible to stomach anything. Perpetual fear. I hear people talk about going into the office or what they were doing at work or whilst travelling on a plane and I think - wow- they really are tough, I was incapable of doing every day chores. I'm not sure what I mean by all this, just that the fact that I am sat here feeling a million miles from that now, indicates how different we all are, but that your mental state, no matter how bad, can swing back up again once you hit the right button. I hope that is of some reassurance to some.

People have such determination and strength to live with this - surely we all come out the other side stronger, more resilient and with more life skills than those who haven't been forced to look into such darkness?

 

[Guest]

How do you come out of it though?(g/funk?)

I'm sick of this. Why doesn't ANYONE ELSE I KNOW, HAVE THIS?

 

[Guest]

There is no such thing as putting things on hold. That is because people expect things out of you. YOUUU musttt be productive or else you are the scum of the earth, worthless piece of [email protected], existing but not living.

If you were to put your life on hold, then you'd have all of your friends, your parents telling you that you are a worthless bum and you'd feel even more pressured and abused, therefore causing more DP. Therefore causing more medication. Therefore causing more addiction, therefore causing more withdrawal. Therefore causing more alienation. It is a vicious cycle aint it?

I speak from experience. I don't have a job. I am trash.

 

[Guest]

I think we all need to put our lives on hold and regain as much as we can.

There is no such thing as putting things on hold. That is because people expect things out of you. YOUUU musttt be productive or else you are the scum of the earth, worthless piece of [email protected], existing but not living.

If you were to put your life on hold, then you'd have all of your friends, your parents telling you that you are a worthless bum and you'd feel even more pressured and abused, therefore causing more DP. Therefore causing more medication. Therefore causing more addiction, therefore causing more withdrawal. Therefore causing more alienation. It is a vicious cycle aint it?

I speak from experience. I don't have a job. I am trash.

No, Pure Narcotic... He's right.
DP/DR is an IDENTITY disorder...
Not all there.

My Mum DOESN'T BELIEVE in me "having an identity"...

Control freaks dont SEE "identities" in their children..or anyone.

ZiggomatiX is right..moving away..time out.."head space", solitude.

I think, alot of people here would be surprised. You might feel UNLOVED by your family's, you might KNOW you're unloved!!! But you stay, in pain, QUESTIONING but staying true as you drown.

If you..moved away..disappeared..or stated that you intended to have 3 years of isolation in canada (eg), then I think many boardies here would find their family's unmasking themselves.

I'm serious. DP/DR is an identity disorder. And when NOT caused by pot etc... There's only ONE other influence..your near & dear.

Someone, somewhere aint too hot about the people here gaining identity.

Y'know..most NON DP/DR people have really piss poor, stupid, worthless, dumb personalities, y'know. So I dont know what we're aiming for, anyway...

This is an identity disorder. a failing of our identity. I KNOW FOR A FACT that everyone from my past is pulling on a very strong MAGNET to stop me ever "evolving" into a full form. Why?
Control. Laziness. Lies

 

[Guest]

Hmmm....

Maybe the total opposite type of mental therapy might help better. Such as totally throwing yourself out in every possible direction. I'm not talking about social interaction but something more Xtreme. Perhaps if enigmatically roamed the earth, living off the fat of the land. The extent of what most of us must be trying is within the confines of a civil and acceptable lifestyle. We obviously aren't one of the puzzle pieces, so what if we create a lifestyle that is without bounds analogous to the fact that our minds do not act on our own accordance. Let the mind and body wander. For the record, i'm not a hippy.

 

[Guest]

Hmmm....

Maybe the total opposite type of mental therapy might help better. Such as totally throwing yourself out in every possible direction. I'm not talking about social interaction but something more Xtreme. Perhaps if enigmatically roamed the earth, living off the fat of the land. The extent of what most of us must be trying is within the confines of a civil and acceptable lifestyle. We obviously aren't one of the puzzle pieces, so what if we create a lifestyle that is without bounds analogous to the fact that our minds do not act on our own accordance. Let the mind and body wander. For the record, i'm not a hippy.

I'm too tired to do that..Let "THEM" diagnose my, undiagnosed CHRONIC FATIGUE SYNDROME first, then I'll do all that!!!

 

[sleepingbeauty]

Hmmm....

Maybe the total opposite type of mental therapy might help better. Such as totally throwing yourself out in every possible direction. I'm not talking about social interaction but something more Xtreme. Perhaps if enigmatically roamed the earth, living off the fat of the land. The extent of what most of us must be trying is within the confines of a civil and acceptable lifestyle. We obviously aren't one of the puzzle pieces, so what if we create a lifestyle that is without bounds analogous to the fact that our minds do not act on our own accordance. Let the mind and body wander. For the record, i'm not a hippy.

that could have come strait from the mouth of tyler durden.

<- definately NOT a hippy

 

[sleepingbeauty]

There is no such thing as putting things on hold. That is because people expect things out of you. YOUUU musttt be productive or else you are the scum of the earth, worthless piece of [email protected], existing but not living.

If you were to put your life on hold, then you'd have all of your friends, your parents telling you that you are a worthless bum and you'd feel even more pressured and abused, therefore causing more DP. Therefore causing more medication. Therefore causing more addiction, therefore causing more withdrawal. Therefore causing more alienation. It is a vicious cycle aint it?

I speak from experience. I don't have a job. I am trash.

i could kiss you for that.

 

[g-funk]

Brad FIT

 

[Guest]

Dogs don't care if you have a job.

 

[sleepingbeauty]

WELL MINE DO!!!

my dogs prefer fresh red meat and hot KFC over nassssty ass kal kan.

my dogs are snobs. :roll:

 

[Guest]

that could have come strait from the mouth of tyler durden.

<- definately NOT a hippy

The picture doesn't work.

 

[Guest]

There is no such thing as putting things on hold. That is because people expect things out of you. YOUUU musttt be productive or else you are the scum of the earth, worthless piece of [email protected], existing but not living.

If you were to put your life on hold, then you'd have all of your friends, your parents telling you that you are a worthless bum and you'd feel even more pressured and abused, therefore causing more DP. Therefore causing more medication. Therefore causing more addiction, therefore causing more withdrawal. Therefore causing more alienation. It is a vicious cycle aint it?

I speak from experience. I don't have a job. I am trash.

i could kiss you for that.

YOU DONT SEE WHAT I SEE

You need to move away from your family SleepingBeauty.

Pure Narcotic, if you were in isolation, your family couldn't GET to you.

They fail your attempts at headspace out of satanic CONTROL (control for the SAKE of control)
ANYONE who is mentally ill had arrested ego development.

It's a COMMUNIST STATE for some people...

If you both LET YOURSELF BREATHE away from direct "influence" you'd be better. Not worse.
Family's are "people". People are SHITT.

 

[Guest]

I have to put my photo up.

 

[sleepingbeauty]

if it works for g funk.. thats good enough for me.

i tried to move away. it didnt work. you ever see a homeless lady pushing a shoppingcart with a little dog in it and nasty staph infection on her legs... say hi to her and give her a cookie. i know just how she feels.

 

[Guest]

You ever see that scene in 'trainspotting' where Ewan Mcgregor is laying in his bed convulsing, hallucinating a babies head doing an excorcist 180 spin move, foaming from the mouth, jerking back and forth like an old lady in a rocking chair? If you ever see someone similar to that then give them some valium. I know how they feel.

 

[Guest]

if it works for g funk.. thats good enough for me.

i tried to move away. it didnt work. you ever see a homeless lady pushing a shoppingcart with a little dog in it and nasty staph infection on her legs... say hi to her and give her a cookie. i know just how she feels.

You're reading my posts, but avoiding using my name.

Wash in plain salt. (What the HELL am I writing???)

Save up money in a secret TIN over the next 2 years. Bury the tin in the back yard.
You had no "security". Do you MIND ME ASKING WHY YOUR PARENTS DIDN'T HELP YOU FINANCIALLY.

You ever see that scene in 'trainspotting' where Ewan Mcgregor is laying in his bed convulsing, hallucinating a babies head doing an excorcist 180 spin move, foaming from the mouth, jerking back and forth like an old lady in a rocking chair? If you ever see someone similar to that then give them some valium. I know how they feel.

You couldn't feel "emotions" properly in that movie.

I got "acute dyskinesia" from an anti-psychotic once (reference Tardive Dyskinesia)

 

[Guest]

I have to put my photo up.

hahahaha

 

[Guest]

I have to put my photo up.

hahahaha

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

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