[Surfer Rosa]

What you've described here is a very common saying on this site from recovered people, the part about, "I can't even imagine what it's like to be depersonalized." Now, if people suffering could feel what it's like to not be dissociated at all, they wouldn't have a problem. Depersonalization is considered dissociative, so you would in general be feeling much less, which is not relatable to someone who is not dissociating. This sounds like a disagreement between your former and present self, not a fugue or amnesia.

You could have a more serious dissociative disorder, but I don't see this as any indication whatsoever. An ambiguous dissociative diagnosis kind of implies that you are experiencing things beyond the realm of depersonalization-derealization, doesn't it? I think they changed it in the DSM-5 for that?

 

[Surfer Rosa]

I wasn't implying that you are recovered, just that you expreience depersonalization to a high degree, and then you experience it less. It seems like a great many of us have that, as well as feeling upset and jarred as if punched in the head when strong depersonalization comes on. I understand what you're saying about the thoughts coming with it being concerning. You consider yourself part of the world one minute, and then an observer the next. Personally, I experience the world as real one moment, and then dreamlike the next. It is very distressing for many of us right now.