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so now I know this works...

I'm ayesha, I'm 24, and I live with my carer who is called rachel.

I was born without proper use of my lower body, so she helps me with daily tasks (which sometimes can be embarrassing, but it's what it is)

with me, I can say I need something, but not have the control to do it.

so for example: I'll say to her I want food, but can't cook

or I want to go to bed, but can't actually get in to bed because I can't use my legs

I joined this forum because of flashbacks and other issues that started for me after my mother abused me. it was terrible, and the sadest part is that she still tries. though we live apart, it doesn't stop her..

anyway that's more about me

ayesha
 

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Hey ayesha23,

It is nice to meet you!

I totally identify with flashbacks part, I was abused too.

I am 44, lol, and it took me what some people would call a lifetime to face the abuse and its consequences.

It is sad to have the people who were supposed to nurture you and to protect you do exactly the opposite. They do not deserve to call their children their own, and they have no right whatsoever over their lives. I am done with sadness, and I am done with hoping for some love to come through that channel. They had their chance, and they blew it big time. F.ck them.

Hope you will find a way to deal with flashbacks and stuff...

Take care,

A.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
hi ana julia, thank you for the response!. I am so sorry you were abused too

what I find helps me most with flashbackk is using my senses

I learned this a while ago: focus on 5 things you can seee, 4 things you can hear, 3 things you can smell, etc etc etc

that, and I have a box with calming objects in (which I like the feel or smell of), and that bring me back to a positive place
 

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Hey ayesha,

Tnx for reminding me of that grounding technique...I also rely on the scent a lot, to bring me back, in particular scented candles, and herbal teas, and some cosmetic products, anything really that I found has a soothing effect.

Another thing that helped me a lot was spending time with animals, them being gentle and loving as animals can be.

I also learned to appreciate joking and comedy and laughter again...perhaps I never lost the appreciation, but I was too involved into trying to find the way out of this...however, the way out of it is through it, so a little bit of laugh can only help along the journey.

Best,

A.
smile.png
 
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