Depersonalization Support Forum banner
1 - 1 of 1 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
17 Posts
Good Evening Dreamers!!

Somehow I still have a slight positive mind left because I been full time home caring for my sick grandmother who is 80 years old with pancreatic cancer and this motivates me to want to get better and keep pushing! Now, I would like to draw my attention to alllllll the crazy journey I have been on ever since I walked into what I call a bad trip/nightmare. I try to see it as that because ever since this I never been able to live the same, think the same, nor act the same. I will do the best of my ability to list EVERYTHING i tried and do it in chronological order.
Warning: Please bare with me as I have the worst memory because I cannot even remember what I ate last night
(----------_---------) MAD FACE

Okay so before I woke up in the summer of 2014 with Derealization here is a little background medical info on me. I had a strawberry (Sebaceous Cyst) removed I think around the age of 4 or 5. Growing up I always had severe migraines. I always took either Advil or Excedrin for the pain (I prefer Excedrin extra strength 'til this day). Now if you read my other post you will know when majority of my problems came in which was the summer of 2010 in high school. This is when I became a lab rat
Food Ingredient Recipe Yellow Cuisine
. I took motion sickness patches and pills for the dizziness (neither cured me). May I remind you I have been an athlete for a very long time so I invested more time thinking it could have just been concussions. I did have bad accidents before on the court. So I began to see a chiropractor. They examined me and told me I had a very messed up spine but not enough to cause the severe dizziness/vertigo symptoms I had at the time. So i continued to struggle with no actual medication, regimen, or techniques to cure this condition I had (non diagnosed vertigo).Jumping to College I still had the dizziness. By this time this is where i seen newer medications.

I remember being prescribed from a Neurologist migraine medication. I wish i can tell you which one because it caused dried mouth, drowsiness, and jitters. He gave me another one and it did nothing for the dizziness.

I even seen the Ears, Nose, Throat Department. I had test come back normal. I even had my ears deep cleaned cause that could cause several conditions. I had my hearing checked: perfecto!

I had my eyes fully X-ray. Which many who have Derealization could agree that you can describe it as a visual and physical feeling. They told me my vision was perfect. Slight strain in my left eye but I only needed glasses to read and I tell you my glasses don't even look prescription.

Now This is where this gets tricky cause I can't remember. But I think it was from my Neurologist. There was a prescription which may have been Prozac 10mg that was so bad. I took it for maybe two weeks so far at the time. What I remember is hallucination and fear. I have a huge fear of spiders and guess what...I hallucinated freaking spiders! I would wake up randomly in the night and see random spiders crawling on the wall. It was so bad I slept in my living room on a very uncomfortable couch for two weeks!! I even saw them then! Then, the next symptom got worst :/ Every time I closed my eyes, I felt like I was falling, or someone was attacking me! Like at this point I was convinced there was a demon with me. I wouldn't say I felt suicidal but I was deeply depressed, moody, and scared at all times. I put my boyfriend through hell in this time period:( I thought my life couldn't get any worse than this.

Note: Side medications I have been on before as well have been the Depo shot(Birth control) and birth control pills.

Now the medications I have taken since the Derealization. My Primary doctor gave me a different type of Prozac (yeah I know, sounds crazy I took anything ever again that says "Pro" and "Zac") for energy because I always felt so fatigue all the time.This was right when I became Derealized in 2014 around June or August. That did nothing

So, let me remind you after all these freaking doctor visits which I am sure it has been at least 30,000, every time I tried to tell them my symptoms they say it sounds like it is all in my head and I need to see a psychologist. I used to describe it as I feel out of body and foggy minded and dream like. Like I know I am here but it doesn't look right nor feel right. It's a big blur. Now that I have done further research I have better descriptions. Dream like, foggy thought process, forgetful, like a 3d movie without the 3d glasses, etc. So I did go see the therapist. I even got to see the psych all in one day. He didn't really want to help. He just wanted to put me in group classes and i would have to wait 3 months from then. If you can relate you know you need something now and are very desperate. I was crying and freaking out and said I want to quit but I am still here to this day. God got me through somehow.

Now I found on a site: http://www.socialanx...lization-88089/And this is where I took the supplements. These personally didn't help me but it may help someone else so I wanted to suggest to other. Everybody has it different and different causes so I hope this is helpful to anyone!!!

Now I want to share something with you guys because I want to make sure none of you try it. Look up "IBOGA" It is a root bark from a tree from Central Africa. I bought this in powder and was so excited. It is actually considered a hallucinogen but I heard good...and bad things from it. I took it the first time pouring just a tap of the edge from my teaspoon and I was okay. Slightly dizzy but felt high and got a headache. Days later I continued this and I didn't feel any change. One day I took almost a whole teaspoon and boy...was I stupid. This was of the day we went to Disneyland and I felt so out of body I thought I was going to die. I felt like I had t constantly throw up. At night time, my vision...omg...my vision was so bad. Every time I turned my head or blinked it was like this flash of light hovering every object in sight. The worst part of my life...and I mean this is even worst then DR/DP...When we were going into "It's a Bug's Life " show, the lights were heavy in there. And all the leafs on the roof and objects around me were like matrix. I thought I was going to die. PLEASE...PLEASE..don't take this stuff. Even to this day when I am in the dark too long and go into some light it'll do that weird matrix light thing.It takes a while for things to leave your system so we must be careful what we put in it. Ugh please, just don't do it.

The Iboga is the last thing I have taken for my Derealization.

For Blood tests I have had all kinds of things checked. I have had two MRIs, CAT scans, and X-Rays. I have had my thyroids, sugars, and vitamins checked. I even was checked for Lyme Disease. I was recently checked for food allergies and gluten sensitivity. I was checked for Multiple Sclerosis. I was checked for imbalance hormones. I think I listed everything that I have had done.

I also tried meditation every day and night, I used to work out alot at least 2 hours every day. I drink a lot of water every day. I don't get good sleep however. I sleep late around 10 or 11 because I have trouble sleeping. I try to avoid alcohol, drowsy medications, and cough medicines. And I hardly HARDLY will drink coffee. I would say once a week if that,

I will say I drunk a lot of tea almost every day for school before I got Derealization. I think it was Lipton tea.Could that have caused it? Too much caffeine?

I hope this was informal to you guys and got something out of it. I have a very dark history and only want out of this nightmare. I just want to feel again and be present of my surroundings again. I will be coaching basketball next year and I really want to be able to go back to school and work. My field is Law Enforcement and I can't even do that due to my health. Please leave any comments, questions, or suggestions if you have them! Remember, the more advice, the more you are saving a life! Please help me out!

Love, Demi <3


Hair Arm Eye Jaw Gesture

alan p
Jul 26 2016 08:02 PM

Hey I understand everything about how you feel I too have had a difficult past but you must remember that your doing great and that everyday is a brand new day. My story is a little long I'll get into it soon. Im very new hear 2 weeks Ive been DP'd first week was terryfying but its gotten easier the more I understand it. What is with this Kappa opoid thing thats buzzing



Hair Arm Eye Jaw Gesture

yourstruly_demi
Jul 27 2016 02:02 PM

Hey I understand everything about how you feel I too have had a difficult past but you must remember that your doing great and that everyday is a brand new day. My story is a little long I'll get into it soon. Im very new hear 2 weeks Ive been DP'd first week was terryfying but its gotten easier the more I understand it. What is with this Kappa opoid thing thats buzzing
Hi Alan,

I am unsure about the Kappa opoid but thank you for telling me about it I will do some research on it. And thank you for reaching out to me.I am hoping to hear your story soon and I will be checking up to red on it.
 
1 - 1 of 1 Posts
Top