Depersonalization Support Forum banner

messaqge to self listen and learn for once !" an apolog

2309 Views 25 Replies 9 Participants Last post by  jc
i feel ive pissed off a few people on this forum and i do appologize....ive promised so many people that i would stop drinking.....but the matter of the fact is im an alcoholic....ive talked it through today with neighbours,abulancemen (and women) and later a doctor....
ive also openly told my mum and dad for the first time ever.....
but to anyone that has ever been undert he impresseion that i have lied to them...im sorry
1 - 4 of 26 Posts
Sorry to intercept.

You post concerns me although I make a completely health living.

Those things that you do (drinking, the red-eye, and all the rest), how do they make you feel when you cerebrate them? I only read quickly your post and felt terribly only imagining that I am in your case :cry:

This self-destruction procedure (that is how I understand it) seems too be too overwhelming for me to handle it (I have refered to self-destruction in my very first post). I am having very painful, alike imaginations (that I do bad/evil to myself or to other people) and it makes me feel very sick and ill (mentally and physically).

My self-destruction procude involves dodging studying and computer addiction. This may sound rediculus, but it is very painful, and I am having alike scenes like yours (only that it doesn't involve psysical damaging).

How can you stand doing this? In my case, the (mental) pain becomes so great...

And something else: is someone could give me a opinion on this what is happening to me (what I just described), I would be gratefull. I have done a post abot DP/DR-related observations, but this is way more important. I will go to doctor in a month or so, but it would be nice to have an opinion now.

I have thought that this might be actually a self-protection mechanism actually.

Thanks
See less See more
An addition: this may sound way too foolish, but i think that i would feel a lot better it i knew that wouldn't drink again. No offence or no effort to dictate you intented. I feel compasion for you and I hope you find your way out. If you allow me to suggest the only solution I can find: chain yourself in a escape-drinking-organization (dont know this is called in english) untill your body asks for drink no more, and then visit a mind-doctor untill you mind has no reason to drink no more.
sebastian said:
brainsilence: From what i could garner from your post, it seems like you have the same problem that most of us here have...we obsess over things and almost "will" ourselves to do things...against our own will, if that makes any sense. For example, we conjur up in our minds the most horrendous thoughts possible (like hurting/killing/decapitating) the ones we love, and think "O.K. This is really really bad. Whatever you do, don't think of this anymore." And then we do...again and again and again. Regular as clockwork. As has been said many times on here, you will not actually DO these things. People with mental illness that DO are very different from people with mental illness who THINK.
I am more calm now. The only defence that seems to work is try to forget about it.

The problem with me is that I actually do those things. I am dodging homework and I (have strong reasons to believe that) I am computer addict (at least to some point). The greatest pain of it arises from the fact that I am fluctuating between actually doing those things and thinking those things.

The "invinsible" element of drinking is present in myself too. It appears mixed up with bad feelings of tollerance.
brainsilence02 said:
How can you stand doing this?
Sorry JC, that must have sounded quite stupid :( I ment something completely different. I know very few about drinking. I wish recovery.

brainsilence02 said:
The problem with me is that I actually do those things. I am dodging homework and I (have strong reasons to believe that) I am computer addict (at least to some point). The greatest pain of it arises from the fact that I am fluctuating between actually doing those things and thinking those things.
This could be mistakable. I do not actually hurt other people or myself in a physical way. I just can't avoid actions that "hurt" me.
1 - 4 of 26 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top