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1K views 5 replies 5 participants last post by  berlin 
Hi Alan,
my experience seems to be similar, ignorant Gp's and patronising psychiatrists, although I took the psychiatrists word as final and came home and tried to accept my change in experience.

When I first went to the GP I was diagnosed as depressed despite describing that I felt as if I never properly woke up and I didn't feel, (no really Dr I don't feel, not even depressed). I tried going back after a few months, spoke to a different Dr who thought the dreamlike feeling may be caused by the AD's (despite this being the symptom I went to the Drs with initially) so he reduced my dose and advised me to use a good reading light to combat my difficulty reading words on a page.
Simultaneously I had been reffered by my health visitor to the local mental health intervention unit as she was concerned I didnt have feelings for my children. This was more luck than design. The psy nurse who visited me agreed with me when I told him I didn't 'feel' depressed and scored me for a thing called dissociation. My score was high but the information that he could give me on the condition was very limited, I came away believing I must have been abused in childhood to have developed this method of mental escape. This wasn't helped by my absent memories.
I was also reffered to a psychiatrist. I spent several months of visits to a couple of different senior house officers who again either had limited understanding or If they did, I only saw them once or twice. One of these increased my AD's beyond their initial dose as he believed the dissociation was secondary to deppression. With no continuity I called to cancel any futher appointments because I became more frustrated trying to explain the unexplainable to proffessionals possibly not even specialising in psychiatry (I had to ask myself for whose benefit was I going.) It was then that I was given an appointment with the actual psychiatrist.
In a bizzare session she used analogies of carburrators to describe how different people feel, how blind people have to adjust to losing that sense and how perhaps if I would just accept my change in perspective I would begin to feel better. 'do you think you would like to see me again?' 'I don't think' so I said quietly.
Not long after I was discharged by the nurse, as unless I could explain how it was affecting my life or work there was not much more he could do.
That was a year and a half ago, and it has taken until now to understand that its not ok to accept the condition and that it does serverely affect the relationships I have with my children and my partner. How anyone with impaired perspective could evidence their own petition I'll never know. I accepted these proffesionals authority. Until now. I have pieced together a better understanding of my mental health with help from sites like this and the people who post on them.
Its best to make you aware that I still don't feel, not even anxiety so I don't suffer in the sense that lots of you do and Im fortunate in that but it makes me even less human and I desperately want to rejoin/regain life.
 
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