[cassk333]

So after being on a few different medication I’m realizing it just doesn’t work. I was just on Celexa 20mg and it was fine while I was titrations up because I had some Ativan to relieve the side effects. But at about three weeks in all of a sudden my brain started feeling intense pressure. Like there was a rock in it or something and then the effects of my Ativan stopped working as well also. Basically anytime I take anything now I get intense head pressure and just want to sleep all day. Also another thing is that on the meds- people start looking More plastic and just clay like. I’m worried now that I have something fucked up with my brain because it’s like the medication doesn’t even effect it at all and it’s just straight to my body. I don’t know if that makes any sense. But can anyone relate?

 

[KimSavage]

I can relate though I tried a lot more meds

 

[REB]

lol. So they just casually threw the most horrifically addictive substance known to man (Ativan/benzodiazepine) into the mix to alleviate side effects from an already

hazardous SSRI that you in all likelihood didn't need in the first place?

That doctor should be bludgeoned to death and lit on fire.

This seriously needs to end. People all over the world are losing their lives to this kind of weaponized intellectual inferiority.

 

[forestx5]

Neurological and psychiatric research has taken a time out for everyone to make a little money. They have marketed a bunch of drugs that are relatively non toxic, and relatively ineffective. The solutions? Prescribe, prescribe, prescribe, build the mansion in a gated community.

The brain is too difficult to repair. How can you repair something when you don't even know how it works? For most of the physical universe, form equals function. Not so much with the brain. What does a blob of gelatin do? Who knows.

My mental illness of 40 years started with polarization of neurons and arcing in my brain. I endured about 30 epileptic discharges in 3 minutes. 40 years later I had Electro Convulsive Therapy. It took a shock to reverse a shock.

I took SSRIs for about 25 years. The best I can say for them is that they don't seem to have caused any permanent damage. Today, I take nothing and I feel fine. For 40 years I paid into social security and was mentally ill. Now I've been ruled disabled, but I'm no longer

mentally ill. I get to draw SSDI. That's life.

 

[bintuae]

So after being on a few different medication I'm realizing it just doesn't work. I was just on Celexa 20mg and it was fine while I was titrations up because I had some Ativan to relieve the side effects. But at about three weeks in all of a sudden my brain started feeling intense pressure. Like there was a rock in it or something and then the effects of my Ativan stopped working as well also. Basically anytime I take anything now I get intense head pressure and just want to sleep all day. Also another thing is that on the meds- people start looking More plastic and just clay like. I'm worried now that I have something fucked up with my brain because it's like the medication doesn't even effect it at all and it's just straight to my body. I don't know if that makes any sense. But can anyone relate?

Yes. For me, I actually developed dp/dr from antideprassants! It's not common though but it can happen. I'm still on them as they help with depression. only they're making dp a lot worse. Btw, on them do you feel like it's dp you feel but feels kinda different than when you're without?

 

[Al_pk]

Zoloft helped me recover from dpdr in 2015. I was on it until early last year when I stopped it. Two months later i re started and it just blew my mind. Literally. And now im in existential hell. Im alot better than i was but a long way from fine. Medications and brain interactions are complex and poorly understood, so no surprises you're experiencing difficulties

 

[Chip1021]

I've always felt kind of out of it and disconnected, dreamy, and just generally not feeling like a whole person. I was told this was depression. Then I talked to other people who told me not to take anti-depressants because they make you feel like a zombie. I thought depression was feeling like a zombie? So what is it then, being sad about things? In what absurd hyper-medicalized environment did we come to the conclusion that being sad about stuff, regardless of its intensity or duration, is a disease?

Sorry, slightly off-topic rant. I guess I was just a little confused because, once again, the intense head pressure is what I've been told repeatedly is a symptom of anxiety and DPDR itself.

Psychiatry/psychology as an intellectual field is 100% bankrupt.

 

[Psyborg]

well I have taken many meds over the last years and made the mistake to abruptly stop taking them several times even without getting an okay from a doc . and on top of it I drank alcohol and smoked weed 2-3 times or so while being on meds

the problem with antidepressants is that it surpresses your feelings and also makes you "feel better" so the anxiety and depression will go lower but at the same time it will shut down your emotions somewhat and make you feel robotic . and when you stop taking them then all the anxiety and feeling of unwellness will come back even worse unless you are doing a therapy and facing your fears and problems from the past and when you taper off the meds VERY slowly (1-2 years)

in my case when I went to my doc (not psychiatric doc even . he was an internist ....he shouldnt have given me the Celexa) I was 25 years old or so (I am 33 now) and I was crying in front of him because I couldnt handle all the anxiety and depression and horrible thoughts anymore but the way I was feeling was because of my bad childhood and teenage years and even early adult years which were full of trauma so I was basically not knowing what I should do and then after I took the meds of course I felt better but the main issue was not solved ....and I didnt do any therapy since then and was abruptly stopping several medications and drinking + smoking weed etc. and now aaaaall the trauma and bad thoughts are coming right back 10 times worse than when I was 25 going to the doc because the meds have just shifted the problems but havent solved them .

I was even psychotic in 2018 because of all this . 2018 was the worst time in my life

if you are feeling unwell with the celexa then ask your doc for another medication . and when the medication works then try to solve your problems/trauma and when you stop the medication do it very slowly together with your doc

try not to take Ativan . Ativan is only for emergency situations like heavy panic attacks but I didnt even take an ativan 3 weeks ago or so when I had a panic attack because I am so scared of this medication . benzos are no joke . I also had the worst derealisation in my life after a few days after taking only 0.5mg ativan in 2018 . this shall not scare you ....but be careful with the Ativan

 

[bintuae]

I've always felt kind of out of it and disconnected, dreamy, and just generally not feeling like a whole person. I was told this was depression. Then I talked to other people who told me not to take anti-depressants because they make you feel like a zombie. I thought depression was feeling like a zombie? So what is it then, being sad about things? In what absurd hyper-medicalized environment did we come to the conclusion that being sad about stuff, regardless of its intensity or duration, is a disease?

Sorry, slightly off-topic rant. I guess I was just a little confused because, once again, the intense head pressure is what I've been told repeatedly is a symptom of anxiety and DPDR itself.

Psychiatry/psychology as an intellectual field is 100% bankrupt.

Depression can be a trigger for DP just like anxiety, trauma, etc. There are 3 types of depression, one where you feel sad all the time, one where you feel only irritable or anxious, and one you feel no emotions at all. I have the second type. Which one do you have?

Now, the problem with antidepressants (especially SSRIs) is that they usually tend to not only numb the depression but also all other emotions as well. Search "antidepressants and emotional numbness". They make people turn into zombies, robots, which can aggravate the feelings of dp/dr even further to those who already suffer from it. Right now I'm on paxil and the dp/dr is at its worst.

 

[Chip1021]

Depression can be a trigger for DP just like anxiety, trauma, etc. There are 3 types of depression, one where you feel sad all the time, one where you feel only irritable or anxious, and one you feel no emotions at all. I have the second type. Which one do you have?
Now, the problem with antidepressants (especially SSRIs) is that they usually tend to not only numb the depression but also all other emotions as well. Search "antidepressants and emotional numbness". They make people turn into zombies, robots, which can aggravate the feelings of dp/dr even further to those who already suffer from it. Right now I'm on paxil and the dp/dr is at its worst.

I would think that if you aren't experiencing sadness, then the issue you are dealing with should not be called "depression". Semantics, to be sure, but unnecessarily confusing. Especially if you are truly interested in reducing the stigma of "mental illness". That's just my view though.

The fact that antidepressants do what you say they do (numb emotions) is not surprising. The idea that a pill can make someone who is unhappy happy is just facially absurd, and would be incredible if it were true. What medication can do is accentuate or numb thoughts and feelings that a person already has.

 

[James_80]

I would think that if you aren't experiencing sadness, then the issue you are dealing with should not be called "depression". Semantics, to be sure, but unnecessarily confusing. Especially if you are truly interested in reducing the stigma of "mental illness". That's just my view though.

The fact that antidepressants do what you say they do (numb emotions) is not surprising. The idea that a pill can make someone who is unhappy happy is just facially absurd, and would be incredible if it were true. What medication can do is accentuate or numb thoughts and feelings that a person already has.

You can experience symptoms of depression without sadness being the main symptom. I'm sure you're aware of that but just thought I would empathise this point as it's a misconception I often see. People more commonly describe their depression as feeling numb, empty, hopeless, overwhelmed by fear, guilt and regret etc. For me as someone who experiences depression, if I'm feeling sad, it shows me that the depression has lifted a little because I'm feeling emotion again. It can feel like a beautiful relief compared to the empty dark void of depression. I know it might sound like the wrong way around but, like I said above, it is a common misconception of what depression is - it's not about just being sad. Although overwhelming feelings of sadness can be a symptom for some.

I agree, medication can't make someone happy. "Happy pills" don't exist. The right antidepressant medication should get you in touch with positive feelings again. If it makes you completely numb then the medication is the wrong one. The right antidepressant should make you feel like your normal, stable emotional self again. Able to laugh, cry, enjoy life and get back on track. There are always side effects and terrible withdrawals with antidepressants though, that is the problem. And some antidepressants can make things a lot worse. It's like playing Russian Roulette with brain medication.

 

[Chip1021]

You can experience symptoms of depression without sadness being the main symptom. I'm sure you're aware of that but just thought I would empathise this point as it's a misconception I often see. People more commonly describe their depression as feeling numb, empty, hopeless, overwhelmed by fear, guilt and regret etc. For me as someone who experiences depression, if I'm feeling sad, it shows me that the depression has lifted a little because I'm feeling emotion again. It can feel like a beautiful relief compared to the empty dark void of depression. I know it might sound like the wrong way around but, like I said above, it is a common misconception of what depression is - it's not about just being sad. Although overwhelming feelings of sadness can be a symptom for some.

The point I'm trying to make is that, absent some form of undeniable biomechanism known to be the source of all these various mood / mental states, it feels rather dumb to refer to all of them as "depression" (and if such a mechanism were known to exist, then the disease should probably be named after that mechanism). I think the mental heath community are the ones who are misconceiving the various issues humans may be dealing with. To say that "you can have depression without feeling depressed" is really just bastardizing language, in my view.

I agree with the rest of your post though.

 

[James_80]

The point I'm trying to make is that, absent some form of undeniable biomechanism known to be the source of all these various mood / mental states, it feels rather dumb to refer to all of them as "depression" (and if such a mechanism were known to exist, then the disease should probably be named after that mechanism). I think the mental heath community are the ones who are misconceiving the various issues humans may be dealing with. To say that "you can have depression without feeling depressed" is really just bastardizing language, in my view.

I agree with the rest of your post though.

Yeah, I reckon there probably are multiple forms of depression that should be separated as distinct illnesses. I think the word "depression" is the problem here. In common language use it means feeling down/sad but in clinical terms it doesn't mean sad. It means a cluster of symptoms. Hence all the confusion and stigma arises.

 

[bintuae]

I would think that if you aren't experiencing sadness, then the issue you are dealing with should not be called "depression". Semantics, to be sure, but unnecessarily confusing. Especially if you are truly interested in reducing the stigma of "mental illness". That's just my view though.

The fact that antidepressants do what you say they do (numb emotions) is not surprising. The idea that a pill can make someone who is unhappy happy is just facially absurd, and would be incredible if it were true. What medication can do is accentuate or numb thoughts and feelings that a person already has.

I had thoughts like you when I first I experienced symptoms that are identical to depression (the one that bothers me alot is complete loss of pleasure and interest), except there's no sadness, only anger for silliest of stuff! anyone who just looks at me funny and I'd have thoughts of seriously harming them. I thought depression= sadness. I couldn't relate to people on depression forums as many of them feel sadness and experience crying spells.

My pdocs however, kept diagnosing me with 'major depressive disorder'. They said anger or emotional numbness can be another manifestation of sad and painful feelings (or anxious feelings in the case of anxiety disorder). It doesn't mean that sufferers are trying to intentionally be numb or angry instead of sad as to not appear weak. You just feel them without you doing anything. There are many articles about this.

https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2019/02/04/689747637/if-youre-often-angry-or-irritable-you-may-be-depressed

https://psychcentral.com/blog/when-you-dont-feel-anything-during-your-depression/

That said, I do think it should given another name not depression.

 

[Chip1021]

I had thoughts like you when I first I experienced symptoms that are identical to depression (the one that bothers me alot is complete loss of pleasure and interest), except there's no sadness, only anger for silliest of stuff! anyone who just looks at me funny and I'd have thoughts of seriously harming them. I thought depression= sadness. I couldn't relate to people on depression forums as many of them feel sadness and experience crying spells.

My pdocs however, kept diagnosing me with 'major depressive disorder'. They said anger or emotional numbness can be another manifestation of sad and painful feelings (or anxious feelings in the case of anxiety disorder). It doesn't mean that sufferers are trying to intentionally be numb or angry instead of sad as to not appear weak. You just feel them without you doing anything. There are many articles about this.

https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2019/02/04/689747637/if-youre-often-angry-or-irritable-you-may-be-depressed

https://psychcentral.com/blog/when-you-dont-feel-anything-during-your-depression/

That said, I do think it should given another name not depression.

So you think your pdocs know more about how you feel than you do?

 

[bintuae]

So you think your pdocs know more about how you feel than you do?

In some aspects, they don't. but in the case of depression, can you explain why nearly every symptom I have is identical to depression symptoms? Feelings of helplessness and wothlessness, loss of pleasure and motivation, anhedonia, cognitive dysfunction, suicidal and obsessive thoughts, problems with sleep and appetite, slow body movements, lack of energy, apathy, inability to tolerate stress, unexplained aches. What other mental disorders that have the combination of all these?

 

[Chip1021]

In some aspects, they don't. but in the case of depression, can you explain why nearly every symptom I have is identical to depression symptoms? Feelings of helplessness and wothlessness, loss of pleasure and motivation, anhedonia, cognitive dysfunction, suicidal and obsessive thoughts, problems with sleep and appetite, slow body movements, lack of energy, apathy, inability to tolerate stress, unexplained aches. What other mental disorders that have the combination of all these?

Sounds like you've figured it out yourself. Not sure why your pdoc's opinion matters then (except that you need him/her to prescribe you drugs, of course).

But just to continue playing devil's advocate, have you ever looked at a complete list of possible symptoms of depression? It pretty much contains any symptom you could possibly experience. But the feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness are pretty much the defining features of Depression.

 

[Chip1021]

But my worst symptom (of whatever it is I'm suffering from) is the cognitive dysfunction and confusion. I used to function mostly fine despite lacking interest in hobbies and such. Getting lost trying to find the bathroom in my own house is brutal though.

I feel like I've hijacked this thread though, so I apologize for that.

 

[bintuae]

Sounds like you've figured it out yourself. Not sure why your pdoc's opinion matters then (except that you need him/her to prescribe you drugs, of course).

But just to continue playing devil's advocate, have you ever looked at a complete list of possible symptoms of depression? It pretty much contains any symptom you could possibly experience. But the feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness are pretty much the defining features of Depression.

Do you mean like it can contain experiencing delusions as well? What are those symptoms I listed then? Suicidal thoughts? Slow thinking and movements? Lack of energy? Loss of motivation and interest? Doesn't mean nothing to you? Of course, you don't know the answer yourself, do you?

and btw I'm the most ANTI pdocs and ANTI psychiatric drugs you can ever find. and just so you know I've been fucked by antidepressants, SSRIs to be exact. They made everything worse in the long run. They GAVE me dp/dr and I'm not even able to stop taking them. this is why I continue to go to the damn pdocs.

Also, I do my research not blindly trust pdocs. so when they first shared their claim, it's not like I instantly nodded my head in agreement. So, STOP treating me like one of those blind advocates and assuming things about me that are not true.

 

[Chip1021]

Do you mean like it can contain experiencing delusions as well? What are those symptoms I listed then? Suicidal thoughts? Slow thinking and movements? Lack of energy? Loss of motivation and interest? Doesn't mean nothing to you? Of course, you don't know the answer yourself, do you?

and btw I'm the most ANTI pdocs and ANTI psychiatric drugs you can ever find. and just so you know I've been fucked by antidepressants, SSRIs to be exact. They made everything worse in the long run. They GAVE me dp/dr and I'm not even able to stop taking them. this is why I continue to go to the damn pdocs.

Also, I do my research not blindly trust pdocs. so when they first shared their claim, it's not like I instantly nodded my head in agreement. So, STOP treating me like one of those blind advocates and assuming things about me that are not true.

My apologies for offending you. For the record, I wasn't trying to "get you" or make you feel small. I'm only trying to get people to think about what they mean when they use words like "depression" and "DP". Our experiences can be complicated, and it's not simple as just getting a "mental illness" diagnosis and treating it.

I'm sorry about your experience with antidepressants. Many feel the way you do (for the record, I'm not anti-ADs either, just ant-psychiatric propaganda about what they are and what they do).

I probably could have just gotten to my point quicker. I tend to use Socratic techniques when conversing with people and sometimes it pisses people off. My point, or argument, is simply the term "mental illness" and all of its individual components are just classifications of human problems, which on its own is not a bad thing of course. But i had a doctor tell me once they me shitting blood was a symptom of my depression, so it makes me wonder how, for example, psychiatrists know that "fatigue" is a symptom of depression (I.e, caused by the depression) and not that both are the consequence of some yet-to-be-identified condition.

I'm open to continue this conversation elsewhere if you're interested, but I don't want to continue turning this thread into something that it wasn't originally.