[Guest]

Maybe one of my worst day is over.... 9 PM I go to bed. I made huge crisis today, felt irritable, suicidal, cried all day long, saw no issue, felt like I would be better off dead, felt extremely Dp and DR.... and in Paxil withdrawal. :? Thank God the day is over.

Took more Klono, but it doesn't help at this stage. I would have take 1000 klono to knock me down.

I called my stupid psy to tell him I need to be put on Anafranil FAST. So I will begin FAST. Pray for me!

I hope that everyone will have a good night.

Karine *Cynthia, but my real name is Karine, so I decided to be called by my real name (Karen in English)

Good night zzz

K

 

[enigma]

Maybe one of my worst day is over.... 9 PM I go to bed. I made huge crisis today, felt irritable, suicidal, cried all day long, saw no issue, felt like I would be better off dead, felt extremely Dp and DR.... and in Paxil withdrawal. :? Thank God the day is over.

Well I'm glad you were able to get through it and I certainly hope your weekend is far better.

I called my stupid psy to tell him I need to be put on Anafranil FAST. So I will begin FAST. Pray for me!

I will (even though I'm an agnostic :wink: ).

I hope that everyone will have a good night.

Same to you.

Karine *Cynthia, but my real name is Karine, so I decided to be called by my real name (Karen in English)

That's a very pretty name, but I wish you'd retained that cute avatar with the little anime chick in it (really reflected your personality!).

e

 

[Guest]

Karine (WOW, and all this time I thought your name was "Cynthia")

I know exactly how you feel. These last few days have been horrible for me also. I live second by second. Seriously. Just when I think I could feel no worse, BAM, the next wave of horrific feelings/thoughts come over me and I sink even further. This has been going on for quite a while now... I do not want to bore you with the particular details of what I'm going through, but rather, wanted to tell you that you're too damn smart to be doing this to yourself.

You do such a great job describing how you feel, and put so much energy into your posts. I actually "feel"what you write. I know it sounds kind of whacky, but I can really relate to everything you are saying. I guess I just want you to know that you are not alone.

On the other hand, I think that by putting some of that energy to positive use, great things could happen. I know it is much easier said than done, and I wish I could take my own advice, but I think that if you directed some of the intensity/focus of what you are going through away from yourself (i.e try really, really hard to focus outwards/elsewhere) like Janine says, you will feel better.

Everytime you begin to have those bad feelings/thoughts like life is not worth living, and you are doomed, and you're life is horrible, etc, try your hardest to focus elsewhere. I know it is hard, but it helps...

AND most importantly, don't let those feelings/thoughts pull you down more. They are a normal reaction to what you are going through. I'm guessing that until you can resolve the issues causing those feelings/thoughts, they will come from time to time. You have to understand that they are natural, and that anyone would feel the way you do if they were in the same position (if not worse :lol: )

I'm pretty sure you didn't wake up one day feeling the way you did, and that a lot of things led up to it. Just keep your head up, and try your hardest to work through all the things which need to be resolved. Slowly, it will make each day a little easier, a little brighter. :wink:

Best,

Jon

 

[Guest]

Hi,

Another day in paradise

Another worst day... I went to the botanic garden with my son, and felt terrible.... also we went to the old city where I was living BEFORE, and I made a crisis again... to see all that, to remember when I was feeling well, it's too much for me.

Also when I went out of the Botanic Garden, I felt like I didn't remember at all what happened. I felt so sad and terrified.

I toom my first Anafranil today. Hope it will help me. I can't cope with it.

K

 

[enigma]

Hi,

Another day in paradise

Another worst day... I went to the botanic garden with my son, and felt terrible.... also we went to the old city where I was living BEFORE, and I made a crisis again... to see all that, to remember when I was feeling well, it's too much for me.

Also when I went out of the Botanic Garden, I felt like I didn't remember at all what happened. I felt so sad and terrified.

I'm sorry.

I toom my first Anafranil today. Hope it will help me. I can't cope with it.

Here's hoping. Give it a chance.

e

 

[Guest]

Hi,

Yes, I really feel like nothing works me too. Unfortunately I am terrified. I take Anafrani, but I don't believe in anything. It's like believing in a miracle.

You know, friday night, I woke up in the middle of the night, and it toom me 3 minutes to realize where I was. I DIDN'T recognize my room AT ALL. I feel TOTALLY not there. Disconnected. I felt really bad. Confused. Since 2 years it happened maybe 3 times, but it freak me out!!!!!!

Also, yesterday, I really wanted a good day. But when I entered the Botanic Garden, I began to disconnect. I had trouble to go to get my food, because my thinking was so slow.... it's like focusing wasn't allowed. Then after, I couldn't enjoy.... there was too much people, too much kids, not enough me... I felt so lost! We went for a few minutes to a dark place, and I felt totally lost. How horryfing. My God.

After, like I said in my previous post, we went to our old neighbourhood, to see our old appart, like 3 years before that... and all I was feeling is deep sadness. I cried and cried.... I remembered emotionnaly how it was to be happy, before.... to go to this grocery, to go to this place, walk this road... this was my life... I felt like I was really dead, and watching what was my life before my death. It was horrible. I felt like I was dead!!! There wasn't a Karine anymore, there was nothing, just a soul in Dante.

Anyway. Sorry for the post. I just wanted to share. I really feel dead. I just wanted to live. and have hope.

Karine

 

[enigma]

Hi,

Yes, I really feel like nothing works me too. Unfortunately I am terrified. I take Anafrani, but I don't believe in anything. It's like believing in a miracle.

As pessimistic as I may sound at times, even I still believe in miracles. And so should you!

You know, friday night, I woke up in the middle of the night, and it toom me 3 minutes to realize where I was. I DIDN'T recognize my room AT ALL. I feel TOTALLY not there. Disconnected. I felt really bad. Confused. Since 2 years it happened maybe 3 times, but it freak me out!!!!!!

That does sound frightening.

Also, yesterday, I really wanted a good day. But when I entered the Botanic Garden, I began to disconnect. I had trouble to go to get my food, because my thinking was so slow.... it's like focusing wasn't allowed. Then after, I couldn't enjoy.... there was too much people, too much kids, not enough me... I felt so lost! We went for a few minutes to a dark place, and I felt totally lost. How horryfing. My God.

I know that feeling.

this was my life...

It will be again, you can't lose hope.

Anyway. Sorry for the post.

You never have to apologise for coming here and sharing what you're going through! Everyone here understands and cares very deeply.

I really feel dead. I just wanted to live. and have hope.

You will. Give it time. (The latter may sound strange coming from me of all people. But my case just happens to be particularly bizarre. Like P3 said,everybody's case is different.)

Karine, I'm sorry you're feeling so deeply sad to the point of exhaustion. I wish I had words of sage wisdom and advice to offer. But I don't.

But maybe you'll find this helpful:

Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson go camping, and pitch their tent under the stars.

During the night,Holmes wakes up his companion and says,"Watson, look up at the stars and tell me what you deduce".

Watson says,"I see millions of stars,and even if only a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like Earth. And if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life".

Holmes replies,"Watson, you idiot. Somebody has stolen our tent".

Cheers :wink: ,

e

 

[Inflammed]

...

 

[Guest]

Karine,
I have been where you are. I know you feel like you just want to go to sleep & when you wake up you are normal. But you know what? You are just ill right now & you still are normal its just your mind has regressed & can't cope with normal stuff anymore.

The thing that helped me is when I started to do one thing & had to complete it every day. I did a tape course on self esteem. I had to listen to the tape & do the excercises. I did this for 3 months & during those 30min sessions where I would sit listening with my pad & pen I would sit & think what is the point? why do I care what makes me happy or where I want to be in the future? But once I focused & imagined that I could do all that & visualised it. It made me feel better it gave me something to look forward to.

I think this was the start of getting my brain interested in something else besides dp/dr.

Everybody is different, no brain/body is the same & this mightn't work for you but I feel that if you just create this habit of doing something different every day & concentrating etc it will get your brain to stop the constant chatter & fear.

I hope this helps & yep, it does feel bad to go back to a place where you were happy once but when you are well & go back there it also hurts cause it reminds you of when you were sick. But so what! you could go on like this forever. I have to look back at my wedding video & either remember how ill I was (cause I was at my worse on my wedding day) or I can look now & see how much better I am. Just differnet perspectives on things. So yep whenyou do get better & you go back you could say how much better I am since this day.

Hope you give it a try.