Depersonalization Support Forum banner
1 - 20 of 102 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,175 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
how come when i try to masturbate it doesn't feel as good nemore? it pisses me off, i want that good feeling again. it only feels a little bit good, ne of u have this problem or is it just me? is this part of dp/dr?
 
G

·
Why in the world would this topic be for men only? Mmmmm. Anyway, since this thread presents a definite change of pace from what's been going on here today I'll give it a shot..............
Are you on meds? SSRI's in particular can mess things up (for both men and women). Are you physically healthy? Getting enough sleep? Could be a concentration issue. DP tends to take over sometimes.
I think a test might be in order here. Find a date, and see how the equipment works when with another person. If it's better in that situation then you have your answer - get a permanent date. Works great for me.
If you are taking an SSRI though.............honest, it really does interfere with things.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,175 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 ·
i take abilify, i was thinking of buying passion rx for this, and i am physically healthy, but the abilify. is a very low dose 2.5 mgs. i do get enough sleep, but my concentration is pretty bad, it just doesn't feel good when i climax anymore, its horrible, passion rx could fix that.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
141 Posts
Sorry, Livinghell... but you seriously couldn't expect men ONLY to read your post, after THAT subject heading?!!! :lol:

Even though men don't usually experience emotions as intense or frequently as women, you men DO still experience emotions during sex, um, well... sometimes... :D

Masterbating doesn't feel so good to you anymore, as you're missing the magic ingredient - emotions!

I do hope they'll return for you soon.

Take care,

Lesley Ann
 
G

·
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No way can I leave those comments alone.
Speaking as a man, I can assure you that sexual gratification is about 90% mental/emotional for me, with 10% at the most simply physical.
The mental/emotional mix can require intense concentration. Yes, things feel much better when there is love involved. In fact, there are two completely different subjects here: simple sex, and making love.
There are many, many issues that come into play for men. Do I even like this person, is he/she attractive to me, potential guilt for about a million reasons, do I feel good about myself for doing this, does she like me, is she doing this with me for reasons other than liking me, etc. And remember ladies - guys can't fake it. If we're not into the task, it will be obvious to everyone involved. If too much emotional/mental stuff gets in the way, we simply can't do it. It honestly does require lots and lots of focus for guys. Yes, many guys don't realize it, but it does nonetheless.

Anyway hellboy, I'll bet it's the Abilify. Even a low dose will build up. You may need to go to extremes here and try it with another person. And, as SS is leading towards, if it's with somebody you care about it will no doubt work out much better.
If you're lucky, some day you may actually make love with another person. Something waaaay better than masturbation, or just sex.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
141 Posts
I'm sure most people here will agree there could be hundreds of reasons as to why it doesn't feel so good for you anymore.

You could try building yourself up to it a bit more. Every time you get close to climax, stop yourself. Do this at least six times. The end result should be better.

You say it's difficult to concentrate? Surround yourself with 'smut' :D , and if you haven't already, why don't you try to reach for your G spot? That would help lots. In case any of you men are not exactly sure where it is, it's situated approximately 2-3 inches inside your rectum. It's right at the base of your penis. You should be able to feel a bit of a ridge. Gently flick that with your finger.

Also, don't be afraid to do this, by thinking it might make you turn gay. It won't. Well, that's enough lessons from me for one day! :wink:

Good luck!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
141 Posts
I meant no offense with my post, guys. My smilies are there, to help hide my embarressment on this subject. :oops: I didn't mean to sound as if I was laughing at you. I take this post in all it's seriousness.

I'm not saying that men don't experience and enjoy making love. But I personally believe that 80% of men would rather have simple, uncomplicated sex, compared to 20% preferring to make love. However, I would guess that most men on this forum fall into the latter percentage (Creep, creep! :roll: ).

I'm basing my comments on my own, personal experience with men. No, I'm not promiscuous( :lol: !); I'm a taxi driver, who's worked most nights for approximately sixteen years.

You can imagine what an eye-opener my job's been! Actually, it's amazing that I haven't totally lost all faith in humans, because of what I see and hear. It still shocks me to see the MOST unlikely characters coming out of brothels, etc.. I'm talking about women too, mind!

In schools over here, young children are taught how a man and woman think differently MOST of the time. The children are shown two pictures; one of a man and one of a woman, with thought bubbles coming from their heads. In the woman's thought bubble is a heart. In the man's bubble is a pair of breasts. This is honestly true!

I believe I understand men extremely well. I'm just sorry I'm not very good at saying what I really mean.
 
G

·
Oh my :)
Again, speaking as a male representative of this particular species.....
Society has always tried it's best to make sexual experiences purely physical for men. The bubble over the head with breasts you mention is a fine example of how, even an an early age, society tries it's best to force men into a box. A very small, uninteresting box. We're guys, and all we're supposed to want is physical gratification, right? My job is apparently to go out there and get layed by as many women as possible. BORING.
On the other hand, women get the opposite treatment. The percentage of women unable to enjoy sex, I mean really able let themselves go with it, must be huge. Because society is telling them it's supposed to be all about love and marriage.
I can only hope we eventually arrive at a place closer to the truth for both.

Maybe my problem is that I have made love with a woman too many times. I find simple sex to be boring at best, a total waste of time at worst. Masturbation would be more interesting. (Oh, and before I forget -you're lying Johnny U).
Making love, with the emotional component combining with the physical................is a totally different experience than sex. Apples and oranges. Apples and BUICKS. Totally different.

What else.....oh, for crying out loud - don't "try building yourself up to it then stopping....do this at least six times". Trust me, there is no guy here or anywhere else that would advise that. You may end up doing permanent damage. You need to find a real live other person to have sex with. Then, find a real live other person to fall in love with, then make love.

Man to man here hell333 - there could be many reasons for your decreased experience. If it's not the Abilify, then it's something emotional getting in the way. This happens to every man at some point. I'm guessing it has nothing to do with DP.
You'll get by it eventually O.K. regardless. Then all you have to do is try to survive the stereotype society is trying to lock you into.
:)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,111 Posts
wait sc so should i just give the one night stand thing a go? I'm getting a bit frustrated here. Fuck dignity and all
 
G

·
I'm just wishing some other men would get in this thread and help me. We've got somebody going with the name "Sunshine Spirit" giving advice on how a guy should masturbate, how a guy experiences sex, etc. THAT'S worrisome.........

- no offense intended Sunshine. It just makes me smile when I see a woman trying to understand male sexuality.
:)
 
G

·
Didn't see your second reply M.
Ummm........I think you should do whatever you think is best. Just remember though - society is watching, and ready to judge......
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,111 Posts
Whoa like you're talking about the voyeur thing?! I've never tried that!!

j/k

eh I dunno. I'm just in one of those moods. It will pass tomorrow when I think of peeing and eating and adderall and drawing and studying and dancing and smoking and drinking and trazodone and will be too busy for sex.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
984 Posts
Yeah, I'm going to step in here to back up SC. What you said about this stuff makes perfect sense to me, as well as ringing true through experience. My parents gave me quite a Puritan upbringing, eventhough I was Catholic, so while I dont believe that masturbation is necessarily wrong, like Freud said, I think it leads to neurosis. It take something which is supposed to unite, and it makes it solitary and boring. I'm seconding SC on that. Sc is also correct in that society paints men as pigs who dont want anything but to think of breasts and watch television. I would be a rich man if I had a dollar for every college girl that said "Men only care about one thing" to me. With an attitude like that, its no wonder they never catch on to the shy romantic men that they profess to be looking for. Because, really, in my experience, they dont like the deep types, the nerds with hearts, they want the jerks who use them, and who lack emotion. Honestly, I think women find them exciting. Men are much, much more versatile, strong, and vulnerable, than women give them credit for. I also think that the difference between sex and making love is huge, and this is why I'm saving sex until I'm married (or at least trying to). Its a big world out there - dont pigeonhole people, and dont keep your sexuality to yourself. Its part of a much bigger and better part of you, that you'll hopefully share with somebody you care about. I've had quite a few relationships, and they do wonders for your worldview. You feel more complete, you learn something, and the box you live in expands a little more. Women are awesome!

Homeskooled
 
G

·
DP never affected my sex drive, but meds did. I was on a very very low dosage of paxil and it totally killed my libido. You could've hired 5 strippers to come to my house and the beanstalk wouldn't even budge. I had a pretty hot girlfriend at the time too, so that made it even more painful. Honestly, I would attribute it to the meds you are taking. Isn't abilify an AP? AP's are major tranquelisers, so they are going to depress your nervous system which in turn will wipe out the libido.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
984 Posts
And by the way, I dont think this topic is just for guys. I think that all women probably have masturbated at one time or another, at least in their teenage years. I wasnt taught this - I was taught the opposite, but after hanging around the fair sex long enough, I'm just guessing. Never talked about it with one, but I'm pretty good at reading people and what their thinking. Women seem to be about as obsessed with sex as men are - just not in as focused a way. Thats my gut instinct.

Homeskooled
 
G

·
Quick test: everybody who has ever, or will ever masturbate, raise their hand.

Let's see, counting hands.............O.K. Mmmm. That's alot of hands.
For those of you not holding your hand up, I can think of only three reasons: 1) you are lying; 2) you are a very dull individual; or 3) your hand is currently otherwise indisposed.

And with that, I am out of this thread. Too much opportunity for me to offend people.................
 
G

·
Sorry but I'm giggling here like a school girl.
Lesley Anne,you're fantastic,tell it like it is girl lol

As for depression,anxiety,dp etc.I was once told by a physchiatrist that sex is one of the first things to go when you are feeling badly.
Let's face it we associate sex with feeling good and when we don't feel good..........

It never ceases to amaze me how many topics we can relate to dp.
I suppose sometimes we just feel a need to relate,not that there is anything wrong with that.

Peace to all
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,803 Posts
I'm fresh out of novel masturbation techniques, so if anyone with a vivid enough imagination can come up with some, I'd be extremely grateful.

SSRI's always killed my libido stone dead. Which is probably a good thing from time to time.
 
1 - 20 of 102 Posts
Top