[Guest]

First, I know what depersonalization feels like, as prior to this incident I've experienced it in my life a few times, very briefly (a matter of seconds), before returning to reality, usually accompanied by some sort of revelation about the nature of the world.

All right, here's my story.

A few weeks ago, I started Minocycline, an oral antibiotic, for my acne. Some listed side effects are dizziness, light-headedness, confusion, temporary reduction of hearing, etc. I had never had any of those effects.

Then, 8 days ago, I smoked marijuana for the first time (I'm an eighteen year old male, just starting college). When I woke up in the morning, I felt confused, and dizzy, and like I was still high or something.

The feeling persisted. I stopped the Minocycline immediately. It couldn't be coincidence that these feelings started right after the pot, I think though. It was like events weren't happening now, really, but that I was watching them. I didn't have the sharp clarity of consciousness that I used to. I didn't think I was brain damaged, since pot doesn't have that effect for light use, and I can still think and reason just fine..... only, it's in a sort of bubble. I also get pervasive headaches, or have been over the last few days. There's a general cloudy feeling in the back of my skull, a kind of sluggishness that feels like I'm buzzed from alchohol. And I have some trouble focusing on things with my eyes for extended periods of time.

So then, I did research on marijuana, thinking the pot addled my brain. I also checked if it interacts with marijuana, and couldn't find anything. I told my friend who smoked me out about this, and he said it's the placebo effect, it's all in my head.

Then, I found out about depersonalization, and thought maybe the pot triggered that (as it has done to other people). This is where I am right now in my thinking, and I'm worried about depersonalization. I went home last weekend, told my parents I was reacting to my medication, and my dad (a pharmacist) started treating me for sinus allergies, with sudafed, etc. Also, ibuprofen, which didnt really treat the headaches.

Could this be withdrawal from the pot, from the minocyline, or just the beginning of depersonalization? I have to say, if it is depersonalization, it gets better in spells and worse in spells, and I can still function in the real world. I don't feel as if I'm a stranger, or watching myself do things, but more as if im just a little sedated, or just took a couple Vicodin on an empty stomach. I found so far that meditation does help, and that by telling myself that I'm fine, and getting myself to believe that I'm fine, I can reduce the feeling and work around it. It also gets slightly better a night, but that could just be because I've been rationalizing it all day. I do have some trouble getting to sleep, as well.

I've also heard stories of these kinds of feelings going away after an extended period of time, as a month.

And if it is depersonalization, should I go to the University Health Center and inquire about treatment. If this persists, I may bite the bullet and tell my parents about the weed. I keep thinking that self-treatment can cure this.

And yeah, in retrospect, trying the pot was one of the stupidest things ive done in my life. But, I think I can beat this thing. Maybe it's just exhaustion, or it really is in my head. Any comments?

 

[Guest]

Hummm...I can only say what I think from my own experience.

It is my impression as well that it's some sort of placebo effect without wanting to minimalize anything. I had smoked pot happily for years when DP/DR eventually kicked in. From then on it got worse when I smoked pot. I don't really believe pot is what causes it, but as you said it may trigger it somehow. Especially if you had episodes of DP/DR before. What you are experiencing is definetally not the withdrawal from pot. Pot simply does not last for more than a few hours. So I suspect mentioning pot to your parents will only set them to look in the wrong direction.

Anyway, you sound like you have a very analytic mind just like myself and many others with DP/DR. Using psycho-active drugs can suddenly add a lot of extra dimension to an already very active mind. It makes a lot of people feel creative for a reason.

As far as I can tell this will definetally pass over. It is not directly related to brain damage and there's no need to think your brain got rewired or something. The only danger is panicing. Panicing makes it worse above anything else. I learned through the years not to ring an alarm bell when it occurs. As you said yourself it can happen at times you feel exhausted and such (on a lot of different levels: emotionally, psychically/mentally, physically...).

I can tell you that I had severe DP/DR around age 18-22 (an age where it seems to occur more frequently.) I kind of waited it out and I feel perfectly fine now. Sometimes it occurs, especially in crowded, exhausting places, but I don't mind. I know it's not completely unnatural. I just don't panic anymore. I can even still smoke pot. I'm just a bit carefull of where I do it. I need a quiet setting for that and then I can still really enjoy it.

So bottom line as far as my advice goes : don't panic, wait it out. Or if it gets too hard to handle talk to a psychiatrist you feel comfortable with.

 

[orangeaid]

too many people get this feeling they claim and desperatly try to explain as "buzzed" "a few drinks of alk" thats how I describe it. Its scary how its so similar. I think a lot of it is due to the fact that my mind is constantly stressed by my thoughts.

I also think that it could have changed something chemically, thc does some weird shit. More people than you think have had experiences of dp/dr, hell my friend had a wicked weed hangover aka DR for a week I just found out about, he had no idea what it was. But it went away. He did not stop thinking about it, it just went away.

This makes me think that it cant be just a mental thing as it is chemical. I truely belive that thc might screw with something in your brain.

The feeling of DR of high out of it lack of focus could be in some category as eplisey and that is why lamictal helps some people.

I dont know for sure, i hope its chemical because sometimes I am really good about not thinkinga bout it, but it remains

 

[Guest]

I have also a feeling that this, what you are talking about, is caused by marijuana (not the medication before). The symptoms you are talking about sound very familiar to me.

Just a word of advice - try to get over it yourself, even if it would last few months (and if you wouldn?t feel it?s unbearable). I started medications (antidepressants and anticompulsives) a month after my DP started (caused by weed) and it only gave more problems, deeper dp (for the time of medication) and nasty side effects. So, just try it without this stuff first (of course ONLY if you are strong enough and don?t have some dangerous and self-harming tendecies).

Nevertheless, this is only an advice, my opinion, and I would strongly recomend you to visit a shrink or another professional (even only for a conversation).

I hope you?ll get better, don?t give up.

 

[Guest]

actually orangeaid, i think i went through exactly what your friend did. it finally went away almost entirely after 10 days or so. now it comes mildly at times when i think explicitly about it, but im convinced that's just my mind fucking with me. thanks for all your comments.