[Jesse10.84]

Hi, I am a 20 yr old male and im a n00b to knowing that i have DP but i now know that i have had it for about 18months thanks to the magical internet. I used to smoke alot of pot, every day for a few years and i started at age 16-1/2 when i was 19 i had been smoking with the boys like usual one day and we were to set off to a rap concert, in the car 20mins down the road i had a panic attack. My friend who was driving took me to the hospiatal when i said im dying theres something majorly wrong with me i cant breathe ect ect. Anywayz so the i get there and i tell the nurses at emergency what has happened, just been able to spit it out was an effort in the state i was in and they asked if i had taken anything, i said yes i have been smoking pot, ovcouse then i was at the end of the cue to see a doc. So anywayz i got in, seen a doc they ran heaps of tests, found nothing stayed in overnight the next day nothing seemed the same i went home to with my mum and i was all spacy and disconnected like, my feelings were gone, i had no emotions, everything was different but i didnt know what. So i went from doctor to doctor, xrays to brainscans, naturpath to kneiseoligist, neurologist to phyciatrist. It seems the last one i went to (the phyciatrist) is the only one that is on the right track. A few months before all this happened when i was smokign i had these freaky wierd feelings in the back of my mind like something was wrong but i didnt know what, and being addicted to the drug i didnt care i just kept smoking. (i now havnt smoked or drank for 18 months) Then after the panic attack and a few more on a much smaller scale (tho i did get the ambulance to work once for it) i decided to try smoke again and the exact thing that a guy about my age describes happened to him on the depersonalization.info/overview website happened to me exactly. 50 times worse than anything i have ever felt before it felt like death. I am still with the discorder 18months laterand i have started on some anti-depressants with my phychiatrist recently so hopfully that will work. The feeling i have that really gets to me is the spaced out feeling and the feeling of having no humor, no anything i am not my old self. I am glad i found the word depersonalization, at least i have a name for the devil i am fighting. I will win. The stories on this site are great, whoever set this is up good on you its great. I recon we should get an irc chatroom going. If anyone would like to reply with means of coping and strategies, even drugs used that help i would so appreciate it. (also your thoughts on alcohol and DP)

Thanks for reading lookign forward to feedback

Jesse

 

[livinginhell333]

dude i feel the same way you do. i smoked but didn't have a panic attack till after i smoked. it was more than i have ever smoked b4. i've only smoked a few times, but the 4th time had my feeling so weird i couldn't feel my body and i was just extremely paranoid, and now i am like this not knowing when i will get better.

 

[Guest]

I have the same problem as well. I have been to the hospital many times with panic attackes. I thought I was going to die...seriously......worst feeling in the world. It all started one day when I was watching a movie. I had just smoked a joint when my heart started to beat fast and hard. Then I couldn't breath. All I could do was clench my chest. I had smoked pot for years before, and never had this happen. Since then I am a person who lives everyday in fear. Scared of "I don't know what". I try to talk myself out of it, sometimes it works, and sometime it doesn't. I hate this feeling. I guess I should mention that after the episoids I was put on Celexa and took them for about 3 months. About 3 weeks ago I stopped taking it, and I am having the worst symptoms. I thought it was the flu, but I am starting to wonder. I just hope that this feeling goes away soon.Very dizzy,headache,nausea,tired and really weak.

 

[Darek]

Yeah, my story involves smoking marihuana too. I?ve smoked it for the first time - one joint, then a had this attack feeling like my mind is split it two. After, I had some feelings of deja vu, my memory didnt work etc. Well, I woke up in the morning and I?ve been "out of myself" non-stop since - two months now.