[sebastian]

So, I was at this wedding over the weekend. Went to the church...everything very wedding-esque. Nice. Quaint. All is well. All of a sudden, the brides' friend gets up to make a speech...some poem about love or happiness or God or something. I was absolutely captivated. I had met her before a few times, and always thought she seemed a rather cool person, but i saw an entirely new side to her this weekend.

Thankfully, we were at the same table during dinner and hung out a lot of the night as the whole dancing/drinking fiasco commenced. Everything she did. Every word she spoke...every glance she threw...every move she made...just captured me. She was intoxicating. And I feel extremely confident that she was bi-polar.

My God...the energy level around her is incredible. Simply electric. I loved being around her. She seemed like that rare breed whom one could fall in love with in a matter of days, rather than years. You just wanted to be around her. Like some sort ethereal form of magnetism drew everyone to her. Wanted to see what she'd do next. It's like everything she said was totally on queue. As if the night was a film and she was stealing every scene.

Anyway, i can only imagine what a roller-coaster of emotions one would experience dating someone like that. I'm curious if any of you have ever known or dated a manic-depressive. Not that i intend to pursue this or anything, but i'm curious about the whole thing. These people seem utterly incredible. Life seems to sparkle when they're around.

s.

 

[Kelson12]

How do you know she is manic-depressive?

 

[mcsiegs]

How do you know she is manic-depressive?

My question exactly.

You said she was cool the first time you met her, but now she seems captivating. Has she ever been on massive highs and lows that you have seen over a period of time?

Most manic depressives I have known usually are challenging to know and be around.

 

[sebastian]

It's true, i don't know for sure. Call it circumstantial evidence. I've heard allusions to her in the past where people insinuate that she's "troubled", "taking medications"...vague things like that. I suppose that could mean a number of things. People probably say things like that about me.

But if you could have seen the way she lit up the room. These aren't just fanciful puppy love observations. There was a certain glow to her. It was almost as if she couldn't contain the energy that was inside her. You know, i don't know...maybe she was just really animated, but it definitely jibed with my idea of how a manic would act. Very bewitching, sparkling, like a star burning too bright and too fast.

MC: What are these manics like that you say are difficult to be around? Are they more muddled than coherent?

 

[Kelson12]

Sebastian,

Maybe she was just extra happy because her friend was getting married. Alot of people get over joyed at those events.

 

[Guest]

I am a manic-depressive, although my depressive states are more pronounced and longer these days. When I was younger, the opposite was true, but as my situation depreciated, so did my placement on the bipolar spectrum. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask.

Yours truly,
XEPER

P.S. Please read "The Agony of Loving" thread, if you haven't already done so. I don't mean to discourage you, but I feel that a fair warning is in order.

 

[rainboteers]

sebastian,
I have dated someone bi-polar. The relationship lasted for two years and I am sorry to report it was hell. BUT he refused help and would not recognize that he had problems. Everything would be wonderful for a few weeks and then I would walk into his apartment only to find him with a gun to his head. Scariest realationship I was ever invovled in and it was extremely draining. I spent so much time worrying and trying my best to help him. You can't help someone that is not willing to help themselves and I had to learn that the hard way. I don't know if most people who have bi-polar are prone to anger, but that was the major problem with him. I could handle the highs and lows but not the anger. It was always directed at me and seriously there were a few moments where I feared for my life.

It was also the worst break up I have ever gone through. Screaming outside my house and I had to call the police, I felt like I belonged on Jerry Springer. It was a hard relationship to get out of because he would threaten suicide and of course I would feel responsible. This is just my experience with one person and I am telling it because you asked (maybe you are sorry that you did lol).

He was an extreme case and I do think that he used the disorder to manipulate me. I have a friend who is bi-polar and she is wonderful. She takes medications and tries to keep things under control. She doesn't have anger problems and the guys who date her are never sorry. You just never know...

 

[mcsiegs]

My father was a manic-depressive. Reading rainbo's post makes me think she was talking about him..

He would threaten suicide all the time, and had a gun to his head in front of us many times. When he was high, he was anxious, annoying, and very very manipulative. When he was low, he was suicidal and abusive.

He is currently in jail from a drunk driving accident where someone died.

Now, as rainbo also said (God, Rainbo, you are so insightful all the time...WHy can't you live in PA????) - some of them are probably great people especially with the right help.

I am just saying what my experience has been.

By the way - if you like this girl, no disorder should ever stop you!! EVERYBODY DESERVES A FAIR CHANCE. Mental disability should never be frowned on. We are all people with feelings. I actually usually enjoy talking with people who are "not all there" better than the "has it all together" people.

 

[sebastian]

thanks for the responses all,

I feel a little naive after reading some of those posts. The only thing i've ever known about bipolar disorder is from what i read in Kay Jamieson's pseudo-autobiography, which was a great book by the way. And of course from seeing the movie Mr. Jones :roll:

I don't know if this girl is bi-polar or not. I thought it seemed as though she definitely was but it could be like Kelson said, Maybe she just was excited her friend was getting married. I'd like to think i could tell the difference but maybe i can't. I act fairly ecstatic sometimes and i think people have wondered the same thing about me (I actually had an older woman stare me in the face after one hysterical giggling fit and ask me point blank, "Are you on drugs?") Something about her just really didn't fit with what i thought a "normal" mind would act like. Don't get me wrong, I loved it! Like i said, it's like she amplified everything simply by her presence.

I don't know. I'll have to ask my friend about her at some point. She really just blew me away.

 

[Kelson12]

There are times I think I may be bi-polar. Cause two weeks ago I was happy as could be. Talkative, joking, full of energy. But right now I barely talk, am always sleepy, not very delightful to be around, etc.

The brain sure is a wild thing, I'll say that.

 

[Guest]

Actually "Mr.Jones" is an EXCELLENT and very realistic portrayl of manic-depression. (yes, I realize the movie is cheesy, but the portrayl of the disorder is spot on)

I doubt the girl in question is bi-polar. But if she has a troubled past/history and you can tell she is mesmerizing (and yet oddly still available), do the math. We don't need an accurate diagnosis to infer she could be a questionable choice for you.

Possessive, jealous and determined to keep you single until you're too old to care about our age difference,
Janine

 

[sebastian]

Truth be told, i actually did like Mr. Jones. Just as i also liked Unfaithful (with that hottie Diane Lane in it). But i utterly loathe the idea that i'd speak highly of anything with Richard Gere in it. He has that one smug smarmy expression of his that he uses in every scene. I hope he one day does a film with Al Pacino, and he can use that oh-so-charming smirk, while dressed in his Brooks Brothers double-brested suit...and Pacino comes up to him in his leather jacket and wild hair and yells out: "I'll cut your liver out!" And then proceed to do so. Ahh, one can dream.

And Janine, you have to realize, it isn't the age difference which separates us. You're far too sane a woman now. If only you were bi-polar...oh, how the sparks would fly!

 

[Guest]

What I love is that you have sonar to warn you of someone too healthy, but no alarm seems to sound if the woman is "too unhealthy".

In all seriousness re: Manic-Depression: mania in those cases is much more than exuberance. Clinical Mania is psychotic - the person is literally talking so fast you cannot make out their words, or they are having delusions, spending money faster than the bank can cash a check....the distortions are NOT "very high and upbeat" but wild and euphoric in a way that is very disturbing to watch.

Normal ups and downs (mood swings) are different. There IS such a thing as a "manic Defense" that many of us use, but you might not find therapists familiar with that term unless they were analytically-trained. A person might swing to a very HIGH energetic and hopeful and talkative mood as a way of fighting off (or warding off) dark feelings. But that is not the same as "manic depression."

 

[Brainsilence02]

I'll have to ask my friend about her at some point. She really just blew me away.

Dont't. Try to find her yourself. Maybe she didn't liked something in your attitude (not that you did something bad). If you try to contact her and she avoids you, then tell her that you need to see and hear her again (because this the truth, that you need her). Been there. Didn't make it Don't you lose that chanse!

 

[Brainsilence02]

I'll have to ask my friend about her at some point. She really just blew me away.

Dont't. Try to find her yourself. Friends sometimes change motives when it's about women (personal experience). Maybe she didn't liked something in your attitude (not that you did something bad). If you try to contact her and she avoids you, then tell her that you need to see and hear her again (because this the truth, that you need her). Been there. Didn't make it Don't you lose that chanse!

 

[Brainsilence02]

quote="Sebastian"]I'll have to ask my friend about her at some point. She really just blew me away.[/quote]

Dont't. Try to find her yourself. Friends sometimes change motives when it's about women (personal experience). Maybe she didn't liked something in your attitude (not that you did something bad). If you try to contact her and she avoids you, then tell her that you need to see and hear her again (because this the truth, that you need her). Been there. Didn't make it Don't you lose that chanse!

 

[Brainsilence02]

I'll have to ask my friend about her at some point. She really just blew me away.

Dont't. Try to find her yourself. Friends sometimes change motives when it's about women (personal experience). Maybe she didn't liked something in your attitude (not that you did something bad). If you try to contact her and she avoids you, then tell her that you need to see and hear her again (because this the truth, that you need her). Been there. Didn't make it Don't you lose that chanse!

 

[Martinelv]

I would have thought dating someone with Manic Depression is the last thing you need Sebastian. Or perhaps, it's exactly what you need. How about that for advice! If I were you, with the thoughts of 'life is short' ringing in my ears, I'd go for it - while keeping in mind that the depressive states tend to be far more common that the 'exciting' manic states. Read 'Wetbones', it has an interesting take on a relationship with a manic depressive woman.

But I'd go for road kill at the moment, as I'm so cosmically lustful, so ignore me.

 

[Guest]

Hi,

A good friend of mine (of 8 years) is bi-polar... I want to tell you that it might indeed be an extremely displeasing ride. My friend is quite charming, intelligent and beautiful. She sounds like the lady you've met. I can imagine she would show you the brightest, deepest and best of life... but then 2 seconds later you might feel hopeless about the relationship. I do take everything she says with a grain of salt... I analyse and pick her apart sometimes -- and this is to protect myself. I honestly don't trust her in a way that is conducive to a healthy relationship but I do not feel this to be my fault. I just do what I have to, because I want to keep our friendship. Truth be told, I stick with her because she needs someone to talk to, depend on and to be consoled.
She is very needy. I think you could give this girl the world and she would still be unhappy.

Please be prepared for anything and everything that could happen. I'm not trying to persuade you out of taking the relationship to another level -- I do believe people should essentially do what they feel is best and right for their lives. This woman could indeed share many exciting and interesting expeiriences with you... if you do have a relationship with her and it so happens to not work out, you will have learned a wealth on human psychology/human nature (as always in love, but probably even moreso) receding. So either way I do believe she could prove to be to your benefit. I would suggest using a combination of the mind and heart in making a decision. Keep us updated!! : )

 

[Brainsilence02]

if you do have a relationship with her and it so happens to not work out, you will have learned a wealth on human psychology/human nature (as always in love, but probably even moreso) receding. So either way I do believe she could prove to be to your benefit. I would suggest using a combination of the mind and heart in making a decision.

Totally agree. But.. Sebastian, you are sure she is like this? Have you confirmed it? As always, me beeing in lack, I yell GO FOR IT!