Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My mind is out of control. All throughout the day and especially at work I'm like having imaginary arguments with people in my head. Like... thinking of people I'm pissed at and what I'm gonna say to them if I see them, and what they might say back, etc. And then these are interrupted by "I just wanna fucking kill myself" or "leave me alone!" or "kill me now", "make it stop".... Or I'll dwell on my existence and the whole world's existence and then I start to really freak out so I'm like telling myself don't think about it, think of something happy. But I can't my mind is just running away. My DP has gotten worse lately. The days at work go by so, so slow. And I count down the hours til the end of the day, and the days til the weekend, but then I have to start counting again Monday. And it's weird the days go by slow, but the months go by fast.... like I keep thinking it's September still. And years, even faster... I'm gonna be 23 soon. It pisses me off cuz I wish I was 5!!! Cuz I was happy then... my sisters and cousins will talk about old memories and I get so sad. And they talk about they're lives now and are actually happy with them and I just don't get it. I want to be happy with my life now, I want to look forward to something. I'm stuck. I'm trapped!