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Hello everyone,

i had a major insight into perhaps a very important mechanism behind the feeling of not existing/having no self.

It took me a while to realize this but what happens for me is a perceptual shift, where you are kind of aware of your surroundings as " a whole"

and therefore you loose the sense of yourself looking at it.

In otherwords, it feels like there is just your environment but not an "i" looking at it.

And what happens is that im constantly trying to locate myself in my visual field without even realizing it.Trying to see who is behind my eyes.And thats exactly what continues the feeling of no self.

A friend of mine who is getting out of dp now after 2 years realized the same thing and said its at the core of this feeling of no self.

I get a taste of my self coming back here and there and its exactly when this perception goes back to normal.

It can become very sneaky and almost impossible to recognize that this is whats going on, but im sure for a lot of people it is.And it can be entirely self created.

When i first got dp, i remember sitting at my pc with intense anxiety and suddenly my perception shifted from "i looking at the screen" to " there is just the screen but where the fuck am i".

And now we get stuck in that state and become terrified because we cant sense ourself anymore, we loose ourselfes in our surroundings.

Let me know what you think about this, i feel like its a big discovery for me.

Maybe you resonate with this.
 

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Yeh agree with this. I made a post a while back about this sense of self in the body but it feels far away... like the body and 'self' have faded like the sound of a distant car horn. Recently been trying yet another technique called 'focusing' developed by a psychotherapist called Gendlin. I have tried it before but misunderstood it.. he doesn't describe it very well to be honest. But it is focusing on the 'murky region' as he put it, below feelings (or where they would be). So this 'felt sense' is where we can break through or understand trauma. Basically under the heart region almost mid belly at the point of the belly button.. but not specifically there just around there focusing on whatever feelings are in thay region.. if I focus on the heart the feeling of dread comes and becomes overwhelming. Below there and there are tension that seem to pop open with a bit of awareness
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Yes if you loose body awareness it also affects your sense of self massively.I dont have that tho so i dont know.

For me its just this shift in perception and what happens is that im searching for this self in my visual field without even realizing it. Like im trying to locate myself in my head 24/7 and in doing so i feel like i dont exist and freak the fuck out.

However, when im aware of this and manage to relax, and totally focus on the outside, my perception often shifts back to normal and i get the sweet taste of self.

I dont think my dp is trauma related.My dr certainly is.

Imo its just very fucking important to be honest with ourselves and look closely if we arent compulsively creating the feeling or at least increasing it.

People get stuck in this for years, purely through obsession alone.Basically everyone who got cured through clomipramin has just been obsessing, cause its and ocd drug.
 

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I would like to explain to you exactly what this concept is, at least what it could be, whether you refute it or not, that is up to you. However, it may require an open-mind for Buddhism. As such, I think this would be considered a spiritual topic which may break the forum rules if I were to post my explanation here. OR not? I'm not sure. I'm kinda new to this website in general.

Is there a form of p.m here?
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
I would like to explain to you exactly what this concept is, at least what it could be, whether you refute it or not, that is up to you. However, it may require an open-mind for Buddhism. As such, I think this would be considered a spiritual topic which may break the forum rules if I were to post my explanation here. OR not? I'm not sure. I'm kinda new to this website in general.

Is there a form of p.m here?
i know about this shit.Fuck buddhism.

Learned to much about this stuff before i got dp.So thanks for the offer :) but im over this shit, enough ego deathy already^^
 
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