[fingertingle]

More and more, I feel as though dp has turned me into a pathogical liar of some sort. It seems I see every side of something and everything evaporates into a cloud of indifference so really I have no opinions. I continue speaking "my" mind. Sometimes I realize I don't mean the things I say. Sometimes I say things just to get a reaction. I hate when other people do that, but I feel as only a partial member of this planet I'm allowed that right. I crave intensity but I think I'm meant to live a very dull life...

I'm so frustrated. I just feel so stupid and incompetant all the time. I can't keep up on news or politics or school or my friend's social lives. I just want to lay in bed all day and watch Friends DVDs. I really miss being able to think and read. Maybe I should listen to book tapes. Talking Book World. :lol: I never thought I would go to such a place.

 

[Scattered]

Yeah, that sounds familiar. Thats what its about feeling like nothing, but wanting everything. I sometimes wonder if my mental illness is just some sort of intense psychological reaction to boredom. Because I don't "do" anything, its like my mind needs to feel the pressure of near insanity to feel as if it is alive. I don't enjoy feeling like shit, but without the anxiety I'd probably just be a blob...wasting away..not even acting in the slightest way. I guess some people need to walk an emotional tightrope when they feel unsatisfied.

 

[chiara]

you know I was thinking the exact same thing these days. Although I have alot to do all day I am also BORED alot. I cant get into things like playing with my daughter etc to have something to do. I guess not having interests or goals doenst help and Im almost positive that boredom has alot to do with it.
WHen I am doing alot of hectic stuff I am way better and the thoughts dont enter my mind. I dont know what to do to pick things up I think a faster pace of things is a big help. Sometimes I think that although I hate anxiety its what I thrive on too!