[Mipmunk]

For the first time, I feel a little bit like "me", I have a little anxiety/panic but nothing like the past 14 weeks. I think I may be starting to connect with myself again. A few more days, I am hoping. Feel alright/not brilliant, but it will do for now.

Keep your fingers crossed, I am hoping to report to you shortly that the DP is gone (again) (had it many times over the years).

Mip
x

 

[Martinelv]

Good news Mipmunk. Remember, recovery from DR/DP is usually a slow process, and set-backs (and we all have them) feel like the end of the world, but it's not. Think of it as the dying scream of the DR/DP in it's death throes.

I know this sounds like a bizarre piece of advice, but don't concentrate on how good you feel. It is sometimes a recipe for the return of the devil. Just live, don't think.

 

[Mipmunk]

It is really really hard to not self observe and keep thinking how do I feel. I know that I am definitely coming out of it, but I seem to still be suffering with a bit of anxiety, clammy hands, heavy legs, nausea in the tummy. I know from the past that when the DP is completely gone there is no anxiety or anything like that. Do you think this last bit of anxiety and feeling weird is the last bits of DP leaving my system??

Mip
x
:shock: :? :?:

 

[Sojourner]

Until we deal with the root causes of anxiety (for us in particular) we can be assured that anxiety will return. If it subsides, it is temporary, and to think one is free of it just because one has a respite from the most intense symptoms is a mistake.

 

[LOSTONE]

Just how do we deal with the root causes?

 

[Milan]

Just how do we deal with the root causes?

From other posts written by Janine and Sojo it seems some form of depth therapy should weed out the problems but unfortunately I simply can't afford that kind of therapy.

Any one from Australia who is doing some form of depth therapy at a reasonable cost? Last time I worked it out it would cost $26k for one session a week for two years to visit a doc practising psychoanalysis.

 

[Sojourner]

Sometimes you can find someone who is doing psychotherapy with a psychoanalytic approach -- not classic psychoanalysis, which is usually multiple times per week lying on a couch. I am not doing classic psychoanalysis, but a face-to-face conversation.

What you want is the approach itself, and many therapists use it. Google for "psychoanalytic society australia" and see if you come up with a professional society that lists its members geographically like there is in the UK and the US.

Also, many use a sliding scale for people who need it. My therapist does.

 

[person3]

it's not so much digging for a particular root...that can help you understand the why and how, but the problem lies in how you deal with reality.

such as:
-how accepting you are of life's ups and downs
-how much you try to control and "run the show" and try to force yourself and others into having it your way
-how open and honest you are with yourself
-how open and honest you are with others
-identifying patterns of co-dependence (people-pleasing, co-dependent relationships, etc)
-being honest with yourself as to when you are trying to manipulate people or situations

you can start dealing with a lot of those things...opening up to people, talking with friends, becoming less controlling of the world around you, etc., without therapy. i'm just saying that because you don't need to wait and sit in despair until you have the finance plan for therapy figured out.

you can kind of start to take inventory of what situations in your life keep repeating themselves, or when you feel that you are being dishonest or hiding things from yourself and others, or where you are refusing to see something, etc., anytime. all that takes is simply becoming aware of your actions (such as "hey, i'm only doing that so he will notice me" or "hey, I am only nice to her because I am jealous of her and actually hate her"

just kind of become more aware of your true feelings about people and situations...

does any of that make sense?

therapy helps because you have someone else along with you pointing things out that you may not realize, but don't think that you can do that ONLY in a therapist's office, especially if you're having a hard time affording it. I would still keep working to get an appointment but know that you can do some of the work simply by becoming more aware of your actions, thought patterns (why do I always "downward spiral" when "x" situation happens, etc), etc. You don't have to figure out the 216-letter kabbalistic name of god and you don't have to rack your brain for every situation in the past to find a magical root.

 

[Sojourner]

Person3,

Personally :lol: I think you make excellent points, but for many people, what you're proposing is not a possibility because the answers to those questions are buried in the unconscious, which is not accessible to the conscious mind.

We kind of have to coax those answers about why we do things out of their hiding place -- where we put them a long time ago so that they would not make us cry.

This is therapy in a nutshell.

My three-year-old had some ideas and she locked them away. They are affecting me today, but I am not yet fully aware of them. Through therapy, I am gradually discovering them.

 

[person3]

yes and no.

what i'm saying is, it won't do everything if you start noticing your own patterns, but it will work on a lot of it. you don't have to wait to get the right therapist that's the right fit that will unlock your three year old out of the cabinet or wherever she is. that helps a ton too. but it's kind of bad to make it seem hopeless for anyone who doesn't have access to good therapy or cannot afford it, that they can't start noticing some of their own patterns. Reading these posts and finding similarities and making realizations has helped more for me than a lot of my therapists had. forgiving people in my past and re-starting relationships with them? I did that on my own, and that was a learning experience. Doing things I always fantasized about but was too afraid to do in real life? that helped a lot too...(by that i mean the safe and legal stuff!)

The idea that you can't go out into the world and make observations and learn lessons and start to see where you are making assumptions about others or where you are lying, etc, the idea that you CANT start doing that and that you NEED to get to a root cause is very discouraging to people. BOTH are important. I spent a long time not doing things on my own for myself because I was waiting for the right kind of therapy. And if i had a good analyst, i could find out even MORE about myself. But hey, I've done so much to help myself that maybe when I DO make that step it will be easier.

so yes, speaking from experience, I think that other forms of help can be done IF one is having to wait to get analytic help. (also remember that some people on here have found success with other methods)

 

[Sojourner]

Yes, person3, I have no disagreement with you there whatsoever. We are in total agreement. I'm glad you made this point.

I certainly don't mean to imply the situation is hopeless for anyone who doesn't have access right now to therapy. I just tend to focus on therapy when I hear people who seem to be stuck -- particularly when they know intellectually what to do but cannot seem to do it.

But I think you make a very valid distinction that almost deserves its own thread.

I don't mean to say you can't do things without knowing the root cause, but when folks are so stuck they are despairing, that means they cannot do what they know they should and a therapist can help them unlock the reasons why, which will then allow them to do what they want to do -- the things that will help them. A therapist doesn't *do* anything but allow us to discover what is in us -- definitely that's true.

 

[Milan]

Thanks for your responses, I'll see what I can do.

 

[Sojourner]

I pay $40 per session, Milan. You can see what I searched for in the URL:

http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=n ... chotherapy

 

[Milan]

I'll have a look when I have more time after work.
Thanks.