[bbsan]

do you guys lack personality too? I feel like I lost my personality. I miss it. I miss me. Now I sort of become the personality of the person/family in their environment, although Im never awake. Do you guys get that too?

I remember when I didn't have this and was more awake I REMEMBER my personality, how I felt. Now I don't have it anymore. Can you recall that?

I've had this for 7 years, and I JUST turned 18. I thought it would just go away by now.

 

[Guest]

I still have personality. Albeit, a mono-syllabic zombie of a personality compared to what I once was.

 

[Guest_]

.

 

[Guest]

I feel like a part of my personality/soul has gone somewhere and sometimes im within arms reach but cant get it back. Im on auto-pilot a lot of the time.

 

[bbsan]

but I do still recognize myself sort of. Like I still know its me and that mirror and everything. I just don't feel. I dunno, I can't really describe it any better than that. Life has dullened to the point that I almost faint. You get that too? Your so 'asleep' that you might fall over and not even realize it?

Yes, I'm always in autopilot-> half consious, that is a good way of putting it

 

[Guest]

I feel faint a lot of the time because of my anxiety. My biggest fear of DP is that i'll go mad or loose itin public, my doctor has told me that my rationale and safety thoughts are still in tact although i dont realise it, and that my negative thoughts are "percieved only"

 

[Guest_]

.

 

[Guest]

you sound a lot like me actually.

I know it sounds extreme but i think of DP as like a person who's paralyzed is soe way but is also conscious of whats going on and is screaming out but no sound is comming out. You fel but you dont. It weird. And i cant cry, i wish i could but i cant.

 

[Guest_]

.

 

[bbsan]

is that a symptom too? Crying but cant? Cuz Ive had that for years-dry tears.

And poonanny, that self concious thing that you just said puts it into words exactly. Wow, we're definately not alone. And up until just last week I thought I was.

 

[brett88]

Some would say my good, funny personality diminished over night. Its not a coincidence that that was the same night my DR hit and never left, two years ago.

 

[Martinelv]

I have retained my personality. Which is probably why I'm so a mess.

 

[chiara]

bbscan I know how you are feeling. Maybe you havent lost your personality.Maybe you have changed. 7 years ago you were 10 years old.
Since you just turned 18, your life is going through alot of changes. You are not as carefree as you were at 11.

Also crying isnt for everyone. I may be sad alot about things but I am 34 years old and I think I cried maybe once when I broke my teeth in an accident.

 

[fingertingle]

I feel like a part of my personality/soul has gone somewhere and sometimes im within arms reach but cant get it back. Im on auto-pilot a lot of the time.

exactly.

 

[Guest]

Yes. Screaming in your soul. i have described it like that to people.

Nikki uk, did you get this from mj?

No. I dabbled in some ampthetamines when i was in my teens but not much, and thats the only drug ive ever taken.

This is the second time ive had DP in 6 yeras and both times its co-existed with a period of EXTREME stress, worry and anxiety.

 

[Guest_]

.

 

[fingertingle]

Wow, I'm really jealous of all these people with personalities still intact.

 

[Mollusk]

Wow, I'm really jealous of all these people with personalities still intact.

yeah me too. It comes back in brief moments, but seems to fly away again. It probably is checking if I have stopped being a indesisive, self destructive, second guessing lazy lump. When it sees i haven't changed it probably leaves again...

Most likely not, but do you guys ever get it back briefly sometimes? I am trying to find a relationship or pattern to when i feel good again. I think social interactions that i don't totally mess up help. I'm also starting to think that when i start to unwrap the ball of self protecting and people pleasing lies i have become, that it starts to return.