Lost of self/personality/humor anyone else?

"I don't know what to say ever"

This is one of my BIGGEST problems. It's like it takes too much energy to talk too. Even if I'm trying to talk, I can't think of what to say. I can't even get together with my own best friends anymore because I'm SO afraid of the awkward silence. I used to say some really funny and creative things, I would always be making up crazy scenarios with people and laugh about it. Now there's just nothing, it's just easier to sit in my room by myself and let my brain be exhausted and zoned out :-/

I don't feel like I'm in a dream or floating outside of my body or anything. Im much like you except I'm kind of the opposite of hyper-aware.

My hope is that over time with the right medicines, I'll be very close to normal. The goal is also to not need medication which is pretty much what I'm trying now...after a terrifying and life-destoying benzo and adderall taper four years ago, I pretty much lost my life. I am happy for maintaining a full-time job, but unfortunately not much else. Not compared to how it used to be anyway.

Thank you it was horrifying because I was on really high doses of both. I don't recommend benzos or adderall to anyone, both of those drugs are not good long term treatment because of the tolerance acquired from taking it everyday. They stop working and you need more and more just to sustain the effect. Once you're riddled with side effects and totally addicted, it's hell to come off of them. It also takes a very long time in some cases for the brain to heal.