[M1k3y]

When i read about peoples dp stories its always i dont think things r real and stuff, i dont feel that at all, i do have weird feelings in my head, but other then that, small anxiety, mild hyper awareness

but most of all my personality is gone, and so is my humor, i dont find anything funny, besides impractical jokers show, that shit is hilarious, but other then that my personality is gone, i dont know what to say ever

anyone else?

did someone have this and got there personality back? i would love to have it back, any messages r cool, thank u guys

 

[M1k3y]

help

 

[allison84]

Hi i dont get that nothings real feelings only very rarely.
I can relare relate to the loss off personality thing i feel completely different to who i use to be , i think thats part of the loss off self from dp .

 

[dc1097]

I'm kinda like this. I don't have any other symptoms of dp. It's just this weird feeling in my head. Head pressure. And not feeling like myself. I had a panic attack in January and ever since. I've felt like a whole different person.

It's very hard to describe. I drive a truck. So today at work while driving was rough. I don't know if it's where I'm always thinking and obsessing over this feeling that has me jacked up or what.

But when I get home and get around the kids and wife. I feel almost perfect. I just feel off. And have no idea how to explain his to the psychiatrist when I go

 

[allison84]

Dc1097
Your description is identical to how ive been for nearly a year i just feel off.
When i get very bad anxiety or panic attacks i get severe symptoms off dp and dr were i feel nuts .
But when the dp dr is at a low its like you describe.

 

[eddy1886]

You guys are ALL describing the numb DP and DR experience...Basically the feeling of being "off or numb" is classic DP/DR Dissociation...When you FEEL "off" as in not FEELING like your regular self you are experiencing DP

When you FEEL like your surroundings are strange its DR....

In both cases you are Dissociated from what you recognise as the norm...

It doesnt always have to be experienced with extreme anxiety or depression....Its still basically Dissociation...

I believe we are tuning out at a subconscious level and probably learned this from a very young age without realising it....We only became aware of it when it started to frighten us and cause distress...

Possibly due to our earlier upbringing we taught ourselves how to tune out and FEEL nothing during times of fear or anguish or terror...

Thats just my theory though....Nearly 30 years of this crap and I still havent figured out how to tune back in to my old self...Although having said that I have given up trying to get my old self back because it was becoming a futile search....I just accept the way I am now...Its easier to cope that way....Well it is for me anyway..

 

[eddy1886]

M1k3y ironically if you stop searching for your old personality it will come back by itself....

Truth is your personality hasnt disappeared at all....It just FEELS like it has...

You are still exactly the same person you were before DP to everyone else in the world....Its just you yourself that is perceiving yourself as different....I bet you are still behaving the same way you always did...You just FEEL "off"

The false perception (feeling) that your personailty has gone is the classic numb DP/DR sensation...Its as if nothing is funny or sad or painful or frightening (except the weird DP experience itself)

Nearly all DP/DR sufferers will describe feeling totally flat at some stage....

It goes away in time...

 

[eddy1886]

Dc1097
Your description is identical to how ive been for nearly a year i just feel off.
When i get very bad anxiety or panic attacks i get severe symptoms off dp and dr were i feel nuts .
But when the dp dr is at a low its like you describe.

Allison what you are probably really trying to say is that when your more stressed you experience more heightened DP...

Its your Dissociative side tuning out...

The answer is to reduce stress at all levels until you start to feel better....Then gradually reintroduce yourself to small amounts of stress when you feel more capable of coping...

When we are really struggling and ill stress in all forms is to be avoided no matter how subtle it may seem...

DP absolutely devours stress....Its its favourite fuel..........Reduce stress in all its forms (i.e. toxic people places and things)

 

[allison84]

Hi eddy
Thanks heaps for writing us all back really appreciate it
What you said in all your replies made so much sense .
The part were you write ' i bet yous are all behaving the same as yous use to be ' yes i certainty do act like i always did , i never looked at it that way .
Thanks ☺

 

[Kiwi89]

"I don't know what to say ever"

This is one of my BIGGEST problems. It's like it takes too much energy to talk too. Even if I'm trying to talk, I can't think of what to say. I can't even get together with my own best friends anymore because I'm SO afraid of the awkward silence. I used to say some really funny and creative things, I would always be making up crazy scenarios with people and laugh about it. Now there's just nothing, it's just easier to sit in my room by myself and let my brain be exhausted and zoned out :-/

I don't feel like I'm in a dream or floating outside of my body or anything. Im much like you except I'm kind of the opposite of hyper-aware.

 

[eddy1886]

"I don't know what to say ever"

This is one of my BIGGEST problems. It's like it takes too much energy to talk too. Even if I'm trying to talk, I can't think of what to say. I can't even get together with my own best friends anymore because I'm SO afraid of the awkward silence. I used to say some really funny and creative things, I would always be making up crazy scenarios with people and laugh about it. Now there's just nothing, it's just easier to sit in my room by myself and let my brain be exhausted and zoned out :-/

I don't feel like I'm in a dream or floating outside of my body or anything. Im much like you except I'm kind of the opposite of hyper-aware.

Yup thats the depressive side of DP...Over time dealing with this condition over and over day after day, night after night can leave us totally drained of all hope and motivation... In a way the condition itself can bring us into depression that wasnt previously there....Ya simply get sick of fighting a futile battle knowing that you simply arent gonna think or exercise or eat or sleep or work your way out of this god awful condition...

Its f*****g soul destroying and so persistent that we turn flat and lonely and isolated and lost in our own heads....Its not a life its an existance...

I know though that even though ya might not rid yourself completely of this condition it can be improved alot and ya can get back to a much more acceptable level of life....Unfortunately like the rest of us with DP I cant tell you how to feel better...I only know what worked for me (medicine)....Everybody is gonna get better and improve differently because we are all individual and react differently to medicines, therapy, exercise, diet etc etc

There is no Holy Grail cure "NOT YET"

 

[Kiwi89]

My hope is that over time with the right medicines, I'll be very close to normal. The goal is also to not need medication which is pretty much what I'm trying now...after a terrifying and life-destoying benzo and adderall taper four years ago, I pretty much lost my life. I am happy for maintaining a full-time job, but unfortunately not much else. Not compared to how it used to be anyway.

 

[eddy1886]

Benzos are not to be messed with....Ya might as well try to withdraw from heroin if ya become seriously dependant on them...Fair play for coming off them...Thats very brave of you...On top of that you came off Aderall at the same time...Amazing achievement...

 

[Kiwi89]

Thank you it was horrifying because I was on really high doses of both. I don't recommend benzos or adderall to anyone, both of those drugs are not good long term treatment because of the tolerance acquired from taking it everyday. They stop working and you need more and more just to sustain the effect. Once you're riddled with side effects and totally addicted, it's hell to come off of them. It also takes a very long time in some cases for the brain to heal.