I've been struggling with chronic DP/DR for 3 months now.
Mine came about after a horrible freak reaction to an SSRI. I have psychological trauma from it. I had a full blown mental breakdown (almost a psychotic break) from it.
Right after this, I developed a severe form of Pure O, the pure obsessional form of OCD. Which led me to start questioning everything that happened to me. Am I going crazy? Is this schizophrenia? Do I actually want to act on these sudden violent intrusive thoughts I am having? If I do want to act on them does that mean I can't trust myself? What will I do when I'm alone? Did the medication cause brain damage? Am I going to be like this forever? Etc etc etc.
I have been on a continuous hamster wheel of questioning and researching what happened to me. It's been a complete rollercoaster of panic attacks, suicidal depression, aggressive OCD, and extreme DP/DR/dissociation.
Over the last three weeks I have completely lost my sense of self. Has this happened to anyone else?
It's like all of my emotional memory is gone. Factually I can tell you anything about my life. But something is OFF. I look at myself or at my boyfriend or my mom and have this overwhelming sense that I have no idea who they or I am. All of my emotional remembrance of the significance of people is GONE. Even my cats, I feel like I don't recognize my fucking cats.
My symptoms below:
- don't recognize myself in the mirror
- don't recognize the people I love like I used to
- EVERYTHING is unfamiliar
- my voice startles me every time I speak because I feel like I don't know who is speaking
- nothing feels real - I feel like I am on a fast paced loop of a bad bad dream
- my brain doesn't recognize my limbs sometimes
- I have horrible racing racing racing thoughts
- I feel like my body isn't my own body
- feel like my body and mind are completely detached
- I feel like I am going to lose my mind (have felt this way for months)
- feel like I can't trust myself because I don't know who I am, OR I don't know who I am because I don't trust myself? (Riddle me that..)
Anyways I'm all fucked up. I could've gotten the DR from a really bad panic attack after I smoked weed in December 2016, because I remember mild bouts of thinking things weren't real. But the SSRI experience threw me into trauma overload. And now I can't get out of this DP. And I'm terrified to take any other medication obviously...
If anyone else has a similar experience please help!!!! <3
Mine came about after a horrible freak reaction to an SSRI. I have psychological trauma from it. I had a full blown mental breakdown (almost a psychotic break) from it.
Right after this, I developed a severe form of Pure O, the pure obsessional form of OCD. Which led me to start questioning everything that happened to me. Am I going crazy? Is this schizophrenia? Do I actually want to act on these sudden violent intrusive thoughts I am having? If I do want to act on them does that mean I can't trust myself? What will I do when I'm alone? Did the medication cause brain damage? Am I going to be like this forever? Etc etc etc.
I have been on a continuous hamster wheel of questioning and researching what happened to me. It's been a complete rollercoaster of panic attacks, suicidal depression, aggressive OCD, and extreme DP/DR/dissociation.
Over the last three weeks I have completely lost my sense of self. Has this happened to anyone else?
It's like all of my emotional memory is gone. Factually I can tell you anything about my life. But something is OFF. I look at myself or at my boyfriend or my mom and have this overwhelming sense that I have no idea who they or I am. All of my emotional remembrance of the significance of people is GONE. Even my cats, I feel like I don't recognize my fucking cats.
My symptoms below:
- don't recognize myself in the mirror
- don't recognize the people I love like I used to
- EVERYTHING is unfamiliar
- my voice startles me every time I speak because I feel like I don't know who is speaking
- nothing feels real - I feel like I am on a fast paced loop of a bad bad dream
- my brain doesn't recognize my limbs sometimes
- I have horrible racing racing racing thoughts
- I feel like my body isn't my own body
- feel like my body and mind are completely detached
- I feel like I am going to lose my mind (have felt this way for months)
- feel like I can't trust myself because I don't know who I am, OR I don't know who I am because I don't trust myself? (Riddle me that..)
Anyways I'm all fucked up. I could've gotten the DR from a really bad panic attack after I smoked weed in December 2016, because I remember mild bouts of thinking things weren't real. But the SSRI experience threw me into trauma overload. And now I can't get out of this DP. And I'm terrified to take any other medication obviously...
If anyone else has a similar experience please help!!!! <3