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I forget what I do and did and everyday I feel like someone else. Im questioning all the time what we are doing here whats the point off life, having friends, doing things, nothing make sence, I feel like im not part of everything around me. like Im not alloud to feel and enjoy. Im all the time in another world, its like im walking in a dream and everything is fake. I feel lots of tension in my body, im disconneted from everything. When someone is talking to me I ask myself is he talking to me? Its like he is talking to a ghost and I need to talk back but i dont know how. Like my brain cant process this. Also I think that the person who talks to me thinks im strange because Im so disconnected with everything, I dont know how to act, what I need to answer. Like myself is gone and I cant find an answer to someone question. Then I think what other people would say or what they expect me to say. I cant find an answer of my own. Its like I dont exist. Everything is booring because I dont feel its real and I dont feel its happening. I dont see beauty anymore I dont live in the present like im not on the place where I stand. I cant process what I see. I have no soul and just want to sleep and never wake up again
 

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I could have written this myself. You express yourself very well.

I wish I could provide more comforting words, but this is the way I've felt most of my life too.
 
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