Joined
·
6 Posts
Hi everyone,
It has taken me quite a while to find the courage to come on here and ask for some advice/positive words. It might be a bit too long but please hear me out...
This all started around 2 months ago, my friend committed suicide and from the moment I found out, my life just changed.
Don't get me wrong, I have been through a lot of harder times in the past, my Mum had cancer, my Uncle and Grandfather died and I lost another friend suddenly, this all happened in the space of a year. Looking back, I never really grieved and I just got on with my life as my family needed me to be strong.
I have also realised I have always been an anxious person, someone with not a lot of self esteem either but I never really thought of these until this all happened.
So I found out my friend had passed and for some reason, I went into a deep depression for a few days, I became extremely anxious and wouldn't get out of bed, I wouldn't eat, I wouldn't do anything.
Prior to this, I have had a very normal life with loving friends and family, I had always done things by myself, travelled and lived in different countries alone and was always a rather confident, fun loving girl.
So, I then unfortunately started to google why I felt so weird, what had happened to me, where had the old girl gone and what on earth was going on?
I had also really changed my life, I'd quit University, moved to a different city and met my new boyfriend etc, so a lot of life changes had taken place in a very short amount of time.
I then found articles on DP and if I am totally honest, I think I brought DP onto myself a little. I googled way too much and started to freak out about the symptoms. Maybe putting them in my own head?
Fast forward two months and I feel as if I have become a totally different person. DP and anxiety is all I think about pretty much ALL of the time.
I consider myself to be fairly intelligent and I know I am not losing my mind. I have spent countless hours reading DP recovery stories, tips etc. I have come to learn the only way out is acceptance and just living your life.
No matter what I do, I feel as if I am missing something? I am terrified of never feeling the same way again I think, terrified that I will never ever live a normal life again, I feel confused as to why this happened and what am I doing wrong in not being able to get out?
Basically what I am trying to ask is, what is life after DP? Do you go back to your old self?
In a way, I don't want to go back to my old self as I know deep down that I wasn't very happy, I always ran away from everything and didn't take myself or my life too seriously. In a way, I am grateful for being woken up to more of a real life so to say.
Any advice, tips, wisdom would be absolutely great.
Love to you all and thank you in advance from the bottom of my heart.
It has taken me quite a while to find the courage to come on here and ask for some advice/positive words. It might be a bit too long but please hear me out...
This all started around 2 months ago, my friend committed suicide and from the moment I found out, my life just changed.
Don't get me wrong, I have been through a lot of harder times in the past, my Mum had cancer, my Uncle and Grandfather died and I lost another friend suddenly, this all happened in the space of a year. Looking back, I never really grieved and I just got on with my life as my family needed me to be strong.
I have also realised I have always been an anxious person, someone with not a lot of self esteem either but I never really thought of these until this all happened.
So I found out my friend had passed and for some reason, I went into a deep depression for a few days, I became extremely anxious and wouldn't get out of bed, I wouldn't eat, I wouldn't do anything.
Prior to this, I have had a very normal life with loving friends and family, I had always done things by myself, travelled and lived in different countries alone and was always a rather confident, fun loving girl.
So, I then unfortunately started to google why I felt so weird, what had happened to me, where had the old girl gone and what on earth was going on?
I had also really changed my life, I'd quit University, moved to a different city and met my new boyfriend etc, so a lot of life changes had taken place in a very short amount of time.
I then found articles on DP and if I am totally honest, I think I brought DP onto myself a little. I googled way too much and started to freak out about the symptoms. Maybe putting them in my own head?
Fast forward two months and I feel as if I have become a totally different person. DP and anxiety is all I think about pretty much ALL of the time.
I consider myself to be fairly intelligent and I know I am not losing my mind. I have spent countless hours reading DP recovery stories, tips etc. I have come to learn the only way out is acceptance and just living your life.
No matter what I do, I feel as if I am missing something? I am terrified of never feeling the same way again I think, terrified that I will never ever live a normal life again, I feel confused as to why this happened and what am I doing wrong in not being able to get out?
Basically what I am trying to ask is, what is life after DP? Do you go back to your old self?
In a way, I don't want to go back to my old self as I know deep down that I wasn't very happy, I always ran away from everything and didn't take myself or my life too seriously. In a way, I am grateful for being woken up to more of a real life so to say.
Any advice, tips, wisdom would be absolutely great.
Love to you all and thank you in advance from the bottom of my heart.
