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· Registered
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello guys...
I'm new here, and just like all of you I'm going through this DP hell...
Well, lets start from the begining...
It all started 2 years ago.. I had panic attack, first had only on in my life, and after that things never went back to normal... I'm 25 now, and at that time I was kinda stressed a lot.. I was in really complicated relationship that helped my anxiety and depression a lot. I guess it was a mix of emocional exhaustion and low self esteem at that point that caused that panic attack. I've been thinking a lot about what may caused my DP and everytime I came somewhere near the same conclusion. My brain just couldn't cope with all those overwhelming emotions, so it provided me some kind of emotional shield. Numbness... I guess most of you understand what I'm talking about...
So, in those last 2 years I've been to therapists, took antidepressants, tried to move on with my life and so on.. Some things helped me a lot, like therapy and positive thinking, and I've had some good days. I've had some moments or parts of some days when i felt like everything was as it used to be... BUT.. There is always BUT... My DP never acctualy left me... It is always somewhere in my subconcious mind, stalking me, living in the shade....
And that is just frustrating. Everytime I gain some hope it will finally go away it comes back... So, I've been thinking of commiting a suicide. I don't really want to kill myself but this feeling is taking the best of me.. I'm losing the fight and my hope is losing on it's strenght.
Idk... I really admire all of you guys, you all are real heroes and i wish the best for you. I do truly believe there is a way out, and I feal it is realy simple.. Like, in front of my nose... But just can't figure it out...

Btw excuse my english as it is not my native language... Lol..

· Registered
508 Posts
Hey, welcome to the site.

I'm truly sorry to hear that you've been carrying this burden for two years now. It can be overwhelming and exhausting. You're an incredibly strong person for keeping yourself going.

Those dark thoughts are the worst. I had those very same ones during my depersonalization years ago. I'm sure you've already heard people say that it gets better, but even I know it's difficult to take those words to heart.

Feel free to post around the forums. You aren't alone. Many people feel this way and will continue to support one another as best as we can.

I'm rooting for you! :)
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