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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
depersonalization is something I've been experiencing for about two years now, but just recently was able to put a name to it.

a little bit about me-

I have been suffering from anxiety my whole life but it was heightened and i started feeling depersonalization after a traumatic experience smoking weed. i was in school and meds were helping but at a certain point my doctor thought my medicine had simply stopped working and since then i fell into a deep depression and panic attacks. i had to drop out of nursing school because it got so bad and I felt like i was in a nightmare.

my depression is a lot better, but the depersonalization is still there if not getting worse. Ive gotten thorough bloodwork and testings and I'm getting increasingly frustrated in the lack of options for people with depersonalization.

Ive been on a whole long list of medications in hopes of lifting some of the symptoms but i am losing hope and getting so scared of this feeling. I constantly feel like I'm in a dream and that I'm going crazy. I think things through and am always on high alert. no one understands me and I'm glad to have found a community of people that are experiencing similar things.

i pray every day and night that this will go away and ill feel some relief soon because i can't live like this. It is a constant nightmare and I'm not living my life, I'm just existing in it.

hoping that through this community ill get some suggestions and hope that things will get better and that this is not forever.
 

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Sorry to hear this!

One thing that helps me is leaving my apartment and going for a long walk, some days I even go jump of a tall rock into the lake. Maybe doing safe, "risky" things might help re-ground you, remind you that you're alive! :)

Also everytime I feel crappy, I jump into the shower and put it on cold. It helps trigger your brain thinking the bodies dieing so it will try to focus on keeping you alive. Idk, there's a bunch of research on taking ice cold showers or placing ice bags on certain parts of the body that helps with anxiety.

All the best! :) (also I watch a bunch of youtube videos about DP, doesn't make me feel so alone and that there is hope!)
 

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I felt the same for most of my adult life. I persisted through very difficult times. I never thought I would get better. I had 4 serious episodes of major depression during which I lost 30lbs and

went sleepless for long periods. I assumed that as I weakened with age, it would eventually take my life.

But I did get better in my mid 50s. I came to an understanding of my illness and of my past symptoms. I had ECT in 2013, and it gave me a fresh start. I am 62 now, and jogging 5 miles a day,

riding my bicycle and working out. I'm enjoying life for the first time in 4 decades. Take care of yourself, and stay in the game.
 
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