[Kyle450]

Hi my name is Kyle, I am looking for some advice. I am trying to figure out if I am suffering from depersonalization or something else. 4 months ago, I was rushed to the hospital; I realized I couldn't read the letters on my phone screen, I felt a cold rush down the side of my head, then I felt a wave of panic come over me thinking there wasn't enough blood getting to my head. I have no recollection of getting to the hospital, only looking over at my partner and being unable to speak, think or process anything. I thought I had had a stroke or some kind of brain bleed. The next two months were hell on earth; I was dizzy, I had the worst headaches, my right hand was ice cold, I had the feeling of watching myself or there being a invisible wall between me and the world, I had about a half hour memory span, I was off balance, and had blurred vision. By my third month, I was vomiting, the left side of my body felt and still feels like it isn't mine (not looking at it but touching it, like something is wrong with the sensations). This is now my forth month; I have managed to control the dizziness and vomiting, but I seem to be left with what seems like derealisation and also this weird feeling like something that happened a hour ago feels like a week ago in my memory (if that makes any sense). I now seem to have uneven pupils (looks cools but its a bit unnerving) and also I have double vision when looking at letters or digits. I'm basically looking to find someone who can relate to my symptoms to see if there is a chance that this is what I am suffering from. I have had a CT scan and paid for a private MRI both of my head, countless blood tests, etc.

Blessings to all,

Kyle

 

[nocturnalman]

Is this your first panic attack ? Panic attacks leave many people traumatized for some time due to the nature of it.

In your cause it might have been a drop in blood pressure and the panic that resulted from it caused you to be terrified for some time.

My advice to you is dont read anymore about this ,your tests have shown you that there is nothing wrong with you ,many of us would have recovered faster if we did not turn into full time DP/DR researchers.

Forget about what happened ,try to do things that relax you and make you happy and by time you will forget what happened.

And most importantly socialize with people ,it will keep your mind away from those thoughts,

 

[Kyle450]

Hi nocturnalman,

Thank you for replying!

This is my ultimate dialema, I have been somewhat of a control freak throughout my whole life and up until now my understanding of mental illness was that someone gets depressed and then wants to kill themselves (as shallow and ignorant as that now sounds).

What I'm struggling to understand is that this feels so physical that I can't accept that this is a mental illness as my ego seems so intact, and was wondering if people with DP/DR have the same doubts in order to ease my mind (not saying that DP/DR isn't physical, I mean that it's not a slipped disc for example, more like hypothetically a chemical imbalance) I don't feel like enough tests have been carried out to rule out a physical cause.

I'm just basically wondering if others have experienced symptoms like mine in order to help put my mind at ease and chillax.

Thanks for the reply

 

[nocturnalman]

I can assure you that there are millions of people who have experienced your symptoms.The difference between humans is how sensitive each person is.How many people are there who experienced very bad trips using drugs ,but once it was over ,they said hey that was shit ,next time i will use less.Many of us here have experienced weed induced panic attacks that left us traumatized ,whereas at the same time many other people just experienced it like they just had a bad day and continued on with whatever they were doing.

Because we are actually control freaks and somehow more sensitive than others we tend to give matters too much attention.

You wrote that it feels so physical that you have problems accepting that this is a mental illness ,this is completely normal.There is lots of scientific material you can

read about ,which explains how the mind affecs the body and vice versa.Let me give you a little dirty example :mrgreen: When you imagine a hot woman in your head ,dont you get an erection ? I would say yes ,so did your mind affect your body or not ? Because of what you were thinking ,your body released chemicals that caused a physical reaction.

If you want a more complex example ,you can read about the a quantum physics experiment ,called the double slit experiment ,which shows how human awareness/consciousness affect phyisical measurements.

The mental part of you affects the physical part of you and vice versa.

 

[Kyle450]

Hi mate thanks for your reassurance, you seem to be more help than any doctor that just wants to throw chemicals mixed with caking agents in the form of circles at me! Is this forum full of other cool mother******* like you? Facebook selfies and pictures of food are not cutting it for me! P.S. if I die from lung cancer or some other BS I will take a sh** on your doorstep! Thanks for the cool chat mate, hope you have a nice day! Off to bed

 

[Questnmark]

Hey Kyle, sorry to hear what you went through the past couple of months. We're all on this forum for a similar reason and the support here is great.

With your medical test being negative it sounds to me like what nocturnalman said was panic attacks. It sounds to me like you're experiencing bad panic attacks that triggered your DP.

Are you under stress at all? For me, I'm seeing a relationship between stress being a trigger for my dr/dp.

Also, ruminating and thinking about it makes it worse. Reading stuff online is helpful because we can read things from others going through the same experience, however it's also bad because our focus is still on the current situation at hand which is our dp/dr, anxiety, panic attacks etc.

I'm being hypocritical because obviously I'm here in the forum! I need to practice what I preach, but being here and interacting with others is comforting and helpful.

That's what makes life great, when you're in a terrible situation and there's people in the world who you can reach out to for advice and support. We're all in the same boat and we'll all get off it together.

Best wishes buddy, don't overthink $#!% and if you're feeling down just come back here and vent out your situation. Have a good day

 

[Kyle450]

Hey questnmark I appreciate your reply and support buddy, tbh yes mate I was under fairly heavy stress I normally run my own buiness and worked a lot more than I should, now I'm struggling to physically get out of bed.

I've always been so emotionally closed and just never really believed I was capable of breaking in any shape or form.

I don't think your being hypocritical at all, I've spent the past months believing I had some strange illness and I sadly find it conforting to know others can relate to what I'm experiencing and I can now build a plan on how to move forward and hopefully help someone else in future.

I noticed my pupils were dilated like I was on drugs I've noticed that sunglasses seem reduced the visual symptoms and the derealization maybe it's already common knowledge or maybe just coincidence. Just a interesting thought.

Wish you the best mate thanks for the reply