Depersonalization Support Forum banner
1 - 1 of 1 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
4 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Firstly - I want to say that I have a tremendous amount of respect for all the people on this forum, I did not know what DP was until two weeks ago.

My situation may not be as severe as yours, and by no means am I trying to downplay what DP is, this is just my story.

I am looking for the opinion of some experienced forum members to help push me in the right direction.

I am a 33 year old Male, hold a rewarding job, financially independent, people would describe me as funny, jokester, etc.

I have suffered from generalised anxiety since I was 15, it's usually an increased heart rate and feelings of anxiousness, occasionally has turned into full blown panic attacks, but I have never taken medication I have controlled and managed to eliminate this 100% by myself mentally.

The weekend of April 27 (12 days ago) I started to feel odd, Saturday (28th) more specifically I noticed I may have had a spell of Anhedonia, first time in my life I felt generally sad, didn't want to do anything, no interest in eating, constantly was asking myself " Why should I bother doing this, or that " I have zero history of depression, had a good childhood, no trauma etc.

The next day Sunday (29th) I noticed some strange things, I facetime'd with my Mom, she looked and sounded unfamiliar, then it progressed into myself not looking familiar, I started to analyse what I was saying as I was speaking, felt like I was on auto pilot - I also noticed I had no interest in eating, just wanted to sleep.

During the following week, with some advice of the forum and some of the coping mechanisms I use to control my Anxiety, I learned that if I only focused on forward thoughts, and ignored all others, I could function okay, since then I haven't been feeling like I'm on auto pilot, I've gotten my appetite back, I can make jokes, laugh, enjoy music, can maintain a good conversation.

I have also noticed my memory long term and short term is fine, no brain fog, for the most part, as long as I don't self reflect or take a moment to think about myself - I'm fine for the most part.

The moment I take time to self reflect or realise that I still have DP, I get a terrible sensation and if I let it, it completely takes over me and I get really freaked out and sad.

I can think about memories, but they feel as if I'm viewing them through a mirror, although this has gotten better int he last few days, my parents voices sound familiar again.

The moment I think about, why am I doing this, why am I here, why am I me, it spins out of control and ruins my day, even typing this is hard.

My question to you, reader, is - do I just wait this out? do I see a shrink? do I get on meds? is this DP? is this something else?

I am currently taking : L-theanine, B-complex, Vitamin D ( 10,000 iu ), Rhodiola, Zinc

I just want to be me again.
 
1 - 1 of 1 Posts
Top