Prior to being diagnosed with dp, I am wondering if anyone else has dealt with a very wavering/unsteady sense of self? Meaning that you have worn many different hats in life, and seem to be like a chameleon? Blending into different social situations and feeling drastic changes in how you feel inside? I have struggled with this greatly and even feel different depending on the type of clothes that I am wearing etc. I know that we can often be affected by our environment and the situations we are in, but I am wondering if experiencing this waveringness so extremely is a precursor to dp?
I have been dealing with extreme dp now for close to 5 months and have only recently come to have a diagnosis. I am 36 years old, and most of my life I have pushed myself very hard in every way. Over last winter, everything in my life started to collapse and feel totally out of my control. I lost an ex-partner who I had been recently reconnecting with. For months I felt so raw and in shock, but lately, I have just been feeling so numb to it. A few months after this loss, I started to deal with major anxiety and panick attacks. My life continued to fall apart, and I had to completely give up working and everything I have been involved in. Including my social life and most of the things I enjoy. I also had to deal with moving right in the middle of things getting really bad. It's felt like everything is speeding up towards the end, and I feel like I have aged so much in the last few months. Before all this started, I dident really give much thought to getting older, but now it has become this incapacitating fear of growing older and of what lies ahead. I am wondering if anyone else has dealt with this fear as well?
Everyday I feel very different, and farther away from the life and the self that I have known. My body does not feel like mine, my voice feels different and nothing feels familiar. I recently went on anti depressants and feel like they are making some difference. I am wondering if anyone else is taking anti depressants or any other medication for this, and if so what is your experience/feedback? I am also desperately looking for any tools/resources to manage/reverse this condition?
I appreciate any feedback and I am sending a heartfelt embrace to all those out there dealing with this devastating condition!