Depersonalization Support Forum banner
1 - 20 of 23 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
227 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm feeling so soul-crushingly alone right now. My roommate is gone and I am all alone in my apartment. Why does this happen? I can't always have someone with me. I wish my roommate were here, becuase even if we aren't hanging out, it's nice to have someone else in the apartment. My DP gets a million times worse when I am alone. It's like I need someone else around to confirm my existence. There is an Everlast song which contains the lines "I'm so lonely, it's kinda scary...this kind of lonely, is worth than dying." I feel like that a lot. Another line by Yoko Ono kind of describes my thoughts a lot "there are many things in time and space, I can endure, in fact I can endure almost anything, but loneliness is one thing I can't endure." I don't know, it just hurts right now, i'm so tired of being single and so tired of feeling so alone. Any help on curbing this loneliness? I play video games, but my mind wanders. I watch TV and it is there in the back of my mind, as it is when I read a book. Sigh. I continue on...
 
G

·
I often feel this way, too, especially in the summer when I'm alone for most of the day.

Sometimes getting up and moving around in some way, such as walking around the neighborhood or going for a drive, will help, but it hasn't been fail-proof.

Sorry that I can't help more.
 
G

·
What you said about having somebody around to confirm you exsistence really hit home. I don't know why we get like this but I can back you up 100% on the way you feel. I have a really hard time driving by myself. If I know the girl who usually rides to work with me is going to drive herself in because she has errands she needs to run or something, I will find myself actually having a panic attack before I get in my vehicle. Why do we do this to our selves???? There has to be a better way.
Kate
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,079 Posts
I know how you feel. I got an apartment with my boyfriend and he bailed on me and I was all alone. It was hell. I remember I used to sleep a lot... but I recall you saying in another post that u have a problem getting to sleep. That's really not good advice anyways... to sleep all day.

I got the mind wandering too...still do. I couldn't focus on anything. And I didn't have a computer!!! I couldn't even get the comfort from this forum.

Maybe try making a schedule for yourself. Get into a routine. Get out of the apartment a few times a day... or at least once a day. Try to see a friend. Do some cleaning. Exercise. Write your thoughts...

I don't know maybe u already have a routine.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,388 Posts
I am always lonely because I have no friends and hardly any family anymore. I have given up hope on ever haveing a wife or children. And I am not sure of my prospects. This really sucks for me because I used to be a very social and outgoing person. My highschool had over 3,000 students and I knew most of them. Now I don't even know if my own sister is liveing or not.

There is nothing worse than isolation with dp/dr, NOTHING!
The only thing that gives me any comfort anymore is reading the bible.
But the bible tells me to goto the Kindom Hall 3 times a week.
How am I supposed to be around extreamly positive people all the time, when I feel so dam negitive and lonely? I feel like my negitivity could bring down the whole religion single handed sometimes.
GOD why have you forsaken me?!

I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. :cry:
 
G

·
I get lonely alot, it makes my DP worse...
DP I think is a fear of losing the security of a familiar world...
Hell I don't know what loneliness means to thing about it, literally not philosophically, but I looked it up in the dictionary it means "awareness of being alone" alone is to be by oneself, when we aren't alone we are with people, people provide comfort and security, to be alone is to lose that SECURITY, I draw back to the first thing I said, DP is a lose of SECURITY of a familiar world.

Do I notice I link here?

I don't know about you but I feel alone in myself with DP, as no one understands how I feel, they can't offer that SECURITY of understanding me, so I am a lose either way.. but I mean I can't go on feeling lonely all the time.

I can't tell you how to defeat lonliness, but where do u find that security?
there's a brave old world out there, have a look, like DP it isn't all that it seems
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,388 Posts
Sojourner I am refering to Hebrews 10:25.
But your right JWs do have unorthodox/unworldly beliefs. :wink:

I don't want to talk religion, but it has a lot to do with how I feel.
Weather you agree with me in my beliefs is irrelevant.
I believe that I should be going to the Kingdom Hall as offten as possible, but it is very hard for me to be there because all I feel like doing is crying because nobody understands my pain. Most people there just think that I am stuck up and anti social. I can't even find the strength to talk to anyone about what is wrong with me.

It all makes me feel a little forsaken :cry: .
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
191 Posts
I relate to this very well. Knowing that b-4 this last bump in the road 3 months ago or so kicked off Dp in me, I am now less interested in exposing my self to stimuli like people and situations at all. On another level I know I was a lonely person b-4 this ever hit the first time 25 years ago. I've tried many things to feel normal. The best thing I ever found was if there were at least one or two people I actually trusted to spend time with. That helped me be comfortable enough to deal with and even enjoy more people. Making myself be interested in other human beings will help get me back to non Dp land again. Practice, practice practice, thats all I know to do. On a short God note (sorry God) I do pray as well and it does help a little during the hard times, but of course I want a miracle and I want it NOW. I must just keep on steppin even if I am not "inside" what others' outsides appear to be---ok, calm, enjoying life, free, etc. We all deserve that stuff, I hope we all get it and KEEP it as much as is realistic anyway eh?
---jake
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,207 Posts
LOSTONE said:
Sojourner I am refering to Hebrews 10:25.
But your right JWs do have unorthodox/unworldly beliefs. :wink:
I was making a joke -- you said "Kingdom Hall" was in the Bible!

Your and my beliefs are similar enough for a Catholic to feel we believe basically the same things.

LOSTONE said:
I don't want to talk religion, but it has a lot to do with how I feel.
Weather you agree with me in my beliefs is irrelevant.
I believe that I should be going to the Kingdom Hall as offten as possible, but it is very hard for me to be there because all I feel like doing is crying because nobody understands my pain. Most people there just think that I am stuck up and anti social. I can't even find the strength to talk to anyone about what is wrong with me.
What you should be doing, if you really believe in Christ's love for you, is praying wherever you are. You know this. Pray.

I know how you feel about being emotional; sometimes I don't go to Mass because of it, but I talk to God all the time, and He helps me.

Let Christ heal you, Lostone! If you feel you have to be in a particular place to conduct your personal relationship with Christ, you have misunderstood everything about Christianity. I say this to you boldly because from what I recall of your previous posts, you are a new believer. Didn't anyone tell you what I am telling you? If not, I would, if I were you, seriously think about whether I am in fact receiving an accurate teaching of Christianity with the JW. Maybe you should go to a mainline church.

But whatever you do, PRAY.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
227 Posts
Discussion Starter · #11 ·
I think part of my problem is that I don't accept that it's ok to be lonely. I feel that if I am lonely, that somehow makes me less of a person. I read a book on adult children of whatever dysfunction you can come from...and there was a chapter on loneliness...and it has an affirmation, that all human beings get lonely, and that we have to deal with that. I think a big issue with many of us, surely myself, is that loneliness doesn't fit into the image of perfection that I project onto myself. The perfect person such as myself doesn't get lonely! That isn't what perfect people do, but it is what humans do. I wish i could just accept that I'm human, but the perfection complex takes over. I think this perfection complex causes a lot of my dp/dr feelings. I want and try so hard to be perfect (as impossible as it is) and when I fall short of that, I shut off that part of myself, so my emotions get shoved into the background. It's why I get so badly dp'd at work, becasue I get negative feeilngs, and I think it is wrong to think badly about people...if I was perfect, a good christian (and yes, I realize this is terribly faulty thinking) i would never think bad thoughts about people, I would never be angry, i would never be upset with how people act. I would only love everyone, no matter how much they frustrate me or annoy me. Just a few random, tired, late night thoughts.
 
G

·
Bingo. Now you're onto something.

I read your signature line the other day and started to open a thread that addressed it, but didn't have time.

Your quote is:
"You are a sea of goodness, you are a sea of love, bless you for what you are"--YO
Well, isn't that just a lovely little lie. LOL.....NOBODY is a sea of (pure) love and NOBODY is a sea of goodness. Trust me. NObody.

We are a mixture of goodness and dark, petty, angry, five year old selfishness. We are combination of love and jealousy and envy and rage.

Being human has to do with feeling a wide variety of desires - some of them mortifying! What we choose to do with our wishes is one thing. But no one can last too long if they need to believe they are all good and made of pure love.

Trying to annihilate one half of the self is likely to produce something like DP, no?

Take care,
Janine
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,388 Posts
Maybe you should go to a mainline church.
Sojourner thanks for the offer but I believe that any church that is mainline is not in line with God. John 17:16, 18:36 - 1John 5:19 Matthew 7:14.

Sojourner I do pray all the time but JW's don't beleive that miricles are as commen as most Catholics would like to believe.

I do however know that I am requiered to endure all things, even dp/dr for God. 2Corinthians 6:4-10

It is just so very hard to endure anything with dp/dr.
The last place I want to be when I feel depressed dp/dr and lonely is around a bunch of happy people that want to talk to me.
I feel less lonely when I am alone than I do when I am around a bunch of happy people. Being around a lot of happy people just makes me want to scream because they don't feel my constant pain. I like to scream because they expect me to be happy also and I'm not. All I can do is pretend to be happy, but that don't work. What am I to do?

I think I am going to tell my next bible study all about dp/dr.
That way at least I don't have to pretend to be something I'm not.

Thanks again Sojourner, your advice is good for everyone here.
Pray! even if you don't believe in God.

P.S. Sojourner, I didn't get the joke :? sorry :( .
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,388 Posts
I don't do Jesus...
LOL :lol:

Person3 most people don't. It is prophecy.

James 4:4 do YOU not know that the friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever, therefore, wants to be a friend of the world is constituting himself an enemy of God.

Matthew 7:14 whereas narrow is the gate and cramped the road leading off into life, and few are the ones finding it.

It is all so sad :cry: .

I really have cried over this world :cry: .

Why can't everyone just love one another?

I think I know why I don't fit in.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,207 Posts
Oh, stop it, Lostone. This is the kind of dreck that makes understanding God-haters so much easier. You have just the attitude in this post that alienates people, even Catholics like me.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
546 Posts
Peaceboy,

I know exactly where you're coming from. Loneliness is bad enough in itself. But with DP it's the prime cause for your mind to wander and for you to focus inwards.

This is pretty obvious advice, but there's a number of things you could do. Perhaps you have some friends who have free time and are able to do something with you, anything - go to the beach, the pub, or just a coffee, or whatever.

Also, do you work? If you don't, and you feel able - and of course it depends how bad your symptoms are at the moment - then you should go looking for some work. I've found that I enjoy my current job far more than being at home, I get on with most of the people there, and have made several new friends from it. Just an idea.

I feel a bit silly because there's not much advice I can give that isn't either incredibly simple and obvious or that you haven't heard before. But, if you can, try and do SOMEthing with the time you have now. Keep us posted on how you're doing.

Take care,
MonkeyD
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,388 Posts
Oh, stop it, Lostone. This is the kind of dreck that makes understanding God-haters so much easier. You have just the attitude in this post that alienates people, even Catholics like me.
Yes mommy!

:lol: Kidding Sojourner.

Sojourner I feel alienated myself that is the point of my post.
I feel like the whole world is against me and I am all alone.
That is how I feel.

People that share my religion don't share my dp/dr, and people that share my dp/dr don't share my religion.

Please understand.
My life is hell.

You have just the attitude in this post that alienates people
I am an alien, thats part of the problem. :wink:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,388 Posts
I'm sorry everyone but it's the weekend and I have spent too much time with my borderline mother. :evil: :cry: :shock:

I am very negative right now.
 
1 - 20 of 23 Posts
Top