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Living with DPDR

473 Views 16 Replies 5 Participants Last post by  Aaron46589
Hi everyone 馃憢
I'm 56 and have been living with DPDR since the age of 6. I was sexually abused from about 5 to 12years old and used DPDR as a coping mechanism. I'm here for anyone who needs support 馃挓
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You find peace in it? Is it not terrifying or debilitating for you? I鈥檓 so sorry for you to have to experience that. Sending love.
How can you offer support? I have been also living with dp/dr my entire life. I do not hope to be having it for the remainder of my life.. but I do think it will stay here in some way. How bad is it for you? What helps, and what makes it worse?
Aridity maybe there鈥檚 something in your life that your unhappy with or something that鈥檚 causing you subconscious stress but you can鈥檛 see it. My main point is sometimes we can think our lives are fine and that we are fine but deep down it鈥檚 not but we just can鈥檛 see it because we are so used to of having stress and anxiety, something to think about my friend. There has to be something going on that鈥檚 fuelling it man. In my honest opinion the people who have this for a long time is normally because of they have an unprocessed trauma or they鈥檙e unhappy in their own personal life which is causing stress.
How can you offer support? I have been also living with dp/dr my entire life. I do not hope to be having it for the remainder of my life.. but I do think it will stay here in some way. How bad is it for you? What helps, and what makes it worse?
This is support for me. The fact that you can share experiences with people who actually understand is so different than trying to explain to doctors and family. They'll never know the confusion and fear that makes us feel lonely and unsure if we even exist. I've come to terms with the probability that I'll never be completely free of it but I make the most of the days I'm ok. I listen to meditation for DPDR on YouTube and go through a series of grounding techniques. I wear elastic bands on my wrist and ping them hard if I feel it coming on, have a cold shower especially on my face, say out loud all the things and colours I can see around me, taste something extremely bitter or sweet, focus on something that makes you happy. Sometimes nothing helps at all and I stay in my bedroom. Those are the days when I can't recognise myself in the mirror, my right arm doesn't feel like mine, can't speak cause my voice isn't mine, I don't recognise my husband and become completely detached from reality.
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You find peace in it? Is it not terrifying or debilitating for you? I鈥檓 so sorry for you to have to experience that. Sending love.
Only found peace in it as a child. It took my mind away from the abuse happening to me. Even though I remember the abuse I'm positive the DPDR saved me from going mad or ending my life. Definitely debilitating in adult life but we have to remember we have good days we should try our best to create happy memories to help us on bad days 馃檹
Aridity maybe there鈥檚 something in your life that your unhappy with or something that鈥檚 causing you subconscious stress but you can鈥檛 see it. My main point is sometimes we can think our lives are fine and that we are fine but deep down it鈥檚 not but we just can鈥檛 see it because we are so used to of having stress and anxiety, something to think about my friend. There has to be something going on that鈥檚 fuelling it man. In my honest opinion the people who have this for a long time is normally because of they have an unprocessed trauma or they鈥檙e unhappy in their own personal life which is causing stress.
I've found that people who have long sustained childhood trauma tend to have DPDR into adulthood and sometimes the rest of their lives. I've had psychologists, psychiatrists, loads of therapy and medication. None of it worked for me. I've listed some things I do to help in another comment
This is support for me. The fact that you can share experiences with people who actually understand is so different than trying to explain to doctors and family. They'll never know the confusion and fear that makes us feel lonely and unsure if we even exist. I've come to terms with the probability that I'll never be completely free of it but I make the most of the days I'm ok. I listen to meditation for DPDR on YouTube and go through a series of grounding techniques. I wear elastic bands on my wrist and ping them hard if I feel it coming on, have a cold shower especially on my face, say out loud all the things and colours I can see around me, taste something extremely bitter or sweet, focus on something that makes you happy. Sometimes nothing helps at all and I stay in my bedroom. Those are the days when I can't recognise myself in the mirror, my right arm doesn't feel like mine, can't speak cause my voice isn't mine, I don't recognise my husband and become completely detached from reality.
You mentioned you wear elastic bands on your wrist to help you cope with the DPDR when you feel it coming on. I was just wondering do you experience DPDR episodes? Or do you have it all the time 24/7 non stop?
You mentioned you wear elastic bands on your wrist to help you cope with the DPDR when you feel it coming on. I was just wondering do you experience DPDR episodes? Or do you have it all the time 24/7 non stop?
It's always there. Sometimes very mild sometimes so severe I can't leave my
room for days. If I go outside I might be ok that day but having anything with me that could help in case of "emergencies" is always a good idea
Do you think that people are looking at you during bad episodes? Do you think that they can see you're "unreal" or "mad"? For the past 5 years I carry sunglasses at all times. It really does help me. Not sure why. Good big lenses or wraparound are best. Let me know what you think 馃槑
Do you think that people are looking at you during bad episodes? Do you think that they can see you're "unreal" or "mad"? For the past 5 years I carry sunglasses at all times. It really does help me. Not sure why. Good big lenses or wraparound are best. Let me know what you think 馃槑
Yeah sometimes I worry about what people may think because I have very bad depersonalisation and feel very disconnected from my body which makes me move and walk in a robotic and weird way lol because my whole body feels numb and weightless.
Yeah sometimes I worry about what people may think because I have very bad depersonalisation and feel very disconnected from my body which makes me move and walk in a robotic and weird way lol because my whole feels numb and weightless.
Try wearing sunglasses. I've had the comments about wearing them for apparently no reason but if I feel I have to explain myself I tell them I suffer from migraines. As for the robotic thing I just tell the grandkids it's a new tiktok dance lol
Aridity maybe there鈥檚 something in your life that your unhappy with or something that鈥檚 causing you subconscious stress but you can鈥檛 see it. My main point is sometimes we can think our lives are fine and that we are fine but deep down it鈥檚 not but we just can鈥檛 see it because we are so used to of having stress and anxiety, something to think about my friend. There has to be something going on that鈥檚 fuelling it man. In my honest opinion the people who have this for a long time is normally because of they have an unprocessed trauma or they鈥檙e unhappy in their own personal life which is causing stress.
My life is not fine, I know what the causes are for my DP/DR. I have lots of unprocessed trauma, I grew up with a mom who has Borderline. Always fighting and shouting in my household, lots of bullying and 24/7 stress. Even now I still am being stressed out by my mom. And other factors, but I cannot process anything because of the dissoication.
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Yeah sometimes I worry about what people may think because I have very bad depersonalisation and feel very disconnected from my body which makes me move and walk in a robotic and weird way lol because my whole body feels numb and weightless.
Wait... you have that too? I have been diagnosed with autism and I know it is very frequent with autism. It makes sense with DPDR too but I didn't know other people with DP had it. I remember people told me I had such traits before getting DPDR but I feel it was worse after. Did you have anything like that before DPDR or did it start then ?
Wait... you have that too? I have been diagnosed with autism and I know it is very frequent with autism. It makes sense with DPDR too but I didn't know other people with DP had it. I remember people told me I had such traits before getting DPDR but I feel it was worse after. Did you have anything like that before DPDR or did it start then ?
Yeah it really pisses me off because people think I鈥檓 coming across as arrogant or stuck up. The reason why I walk like this is because I literally can鈥檛 feel my body sometimes I feel like I鈥檓 not even in it. Before DPDR I was fine and I walked normally all this shit started because of the DP. My whole body just feels extremely numb and weightless i can鈥檛 even feel my head or face 馃槀
It makes me walk in a stiff and rigid way.
I didn鈥檛 know people with autism walled like that.
Yeah it really pisses me off because people think I鈥檓 coming across as arrogant or stuck up. The reason why I walk like this is because I literally can鈥檛 feel my body sometimes I feel like I鈥檓 not even in it. Before DPDR I was fine and I walked normally all this shit started because of the DP. My whole body just feels extremely numb and weightless i can鈥檛 even feel my head or face 馃槀
It makes me walk in a stiff and rigid way.
I didn鈥檛 know people with autism walled like that.
I can't speak for all of them, and there is even a chance that my diagnosis is not correct. But at least I know other people with autism and some of them have that kind of thing too. Robot like, arms not moving normally while walking, rigid looking body... I have a problem where I play music, they ask us to make some minimal dance moves, and I am unable to imitate people, because my body feels totally split, my body image is almost not unifiedn, kind of like I can feel only one limb at a time but not exactly, also my movements seem magnified in my head and when they film us and I look at myself on film it looks like I am almost not moving at all. Others complain I don't participate enough, and I can't explain them.
I hope this is caused by DPDR for me too because I have more chance of getting cured from DPDR than autism. I have seen some people with DPDR that did not look like that, but it doesn't prove anything because DPDR is different for many people. Some have aphantasia, blank mind and some others not so some people could have "absent body" and some others not.
I was diagnosed with ADHD too, but maybe this is just brain fog from DPDR, who knows...

edit : also people don't tell me I look arrogant, but people do tell me I look bored when I know I am not, or I look relaxed/nervous when I am not. It seems that my body language is a bit hard to read because of this. Or some people look like they worry what I could think because it is hard to read. Mostly therapists tell me a lot of BS, because I look static as if I was nervous and I sound too intellectual so they think I am a hypocondriac, even doctors do this for very basic stuff. Like my hand is very painful and they don't even believe that. This annoys me as hell.
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I can't speak for all of them, and there is even a chance that my diagnosis is not correct. But at least I know other people with autism and some of them have that kind of thing too. Robot like, arms not moving normally while walking, rigid looking body... I have a problem where I play music, they ask us to make some minimal dance moves, and I am unable to imitate people, because my body feels totally split, my body image is almost not unifiedn, kind of like I can feel only one limb at a time but not exactly, also my movements seem magnified in my head and when they film us and I look at myself on film it looks like I am almost not moving at all. Others complain I don't participate enough, and I can't explain them.
I hope this is caused by DPDR for me too because I have more chance of getting cured from DPDR than autism. I have seen some people with DPDR that did not look like that, but it doesn't prove anything because DPDR is different for many people. Some have aphantasia, blank mind and some others not so some people could have "absent body" and some others not.
I was diagnosed with ADHD too, but maybe this is just brain fog from DPDR, who knows...

edit : also people don't tell me I look arrogant, but people do tell me I look bored when I know I am not, or I look relaxed/nervous when I am not. It seems that my body language is a bit hard to read because of this. Or some people look like they worry what I could think because it is hard to read. Mostly therapists tell me a lot of BS, because I look static as if I was nervous and I sound too intellectual so they think I am a hypocondriac, even doctors do this for very basic stuff. Like my hand is very painful and they don't even believe that. This annoys me as hell.
There is research that indicates people with autism are more likely to experience DPDR due to people with autism experiencing trauma because of the difficulties they face in society. Which makes me believe that DPDR really does stem from trauma and difficulties in life.
Yeah I get people telling me I look bored too but for me it鈥檚 because of the emotional numbness. I can鈥檛 feel any emotion so it鈥檚 hard to enjoy things.

How did you walk before DPDR? Did you have the stiff and rigid walking posture? If you didn鈥檛 then it probably is because of the DPDR.
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