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...your family, like you don't know yourself.

I don't have a dreamlike feeling, it is a dream.

I'm zoned out, I went crazy earlier, hitting the walls of my room.

I don't feel like I can stay in control of myself anymore as I feel none of this is happening, none of this exists, not me, not this board, not my family... not existance.

...and I can't take it anymore, I feel blind, brain dead... whatever the fuck words to use to try and describe how severe this is.

I'm gone. Just gone.
 

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Feeling like you don't know your family is the worst :(
Rent some movies or something and try not to think about it. Vicarious living is the best :)
 

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You just have to keep on living...

I think that you know as good as anyone else here how important is to do something, anything. And we all know how hard it is sometimes...

I feel quite bad lately, too. It will get better - hopefully.
 

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Imagine, does it also feel like you can't remember what you did, say like yesterday?

I'm expericening something similar to yours, I'm just trying to keep busy, try it.
 

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imagine i feel the same exact way i don't get as frustrated as i used to but i used to punch walls in my room, bathroom, i used to yell and kinda freak out to get my family to understand me and usually when i did that they thought i was crazy, so even if i feel like i'm gonna explode i don't let it out by punchin things are throwing things or screaming i just cry a little. sometimes cryin makes me feel better.

i know the whole loss of memory, i don't know what i did like 20 mins ago, i don't know what i did yesterday, i can't remember certain days, like what day it was, i can't remember streets that i used to know so well. i try watching movies sometimes or playin video games to distract myself, but sometimes it doesn't work because sometimes i am so not in reality and so zoned out that i can't pay attention and can't follow a movie. plus my vision is bad, and its still real hazy and foggy so its hard to even watch tv. i don't have any answers i wish i did, but it can't last forever, there has to be a light at the end of the tunnel, but i can't seem to find it.

things feel fake, everything, i miss basketball, if i play it its not fun, it makes me feel worse sometimes, but i do miss it, and as far as like feeling music like through my body and what not, it does nothing. sometimes i try to enjoy other times i don't bother listenin, it depends, because some days i am in a slightly better mood, but i am always dped no matter what.

i always feel nothing, feel ghostly and feel no joy, happinness, and excitement i hate living like this, and i know we all do, but what are we going to do. its really hard to move on and do things as everything feels fake and nothing brings content, but we can't wait for it to get better, but thats what i tend to do and a lot of people tend to do. it really is hard.
 

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Imagine said:
...your family, like you don't know yourself.

I don't have a dreamlike feeling, it is a dream.

I'm zoned out, I went crazy earlier, hitting the walls of my room.

I don't feel like I can stay in control of myself anymore as I feel none of this is happening, none of this exists, not me, not this board, not my family... not existance.

...and I can't take it anymore, I feel blind, brain dead... whatever the f--- words to use to try and describe how severe this is.

I'm gone. Just gone.
Could there be any correlation between how bad you're feeling now and the testosterone shots you got? I had an awful experience with testosterone. I think I talked to you about it a while ago. My DP/DR that had been under control for 10 years came back worse than ever shortly after I started taking the stuff. I've looked at your posts before and since the shots, and I think that could be the culprit, esp. since it has been linked with increasing the severity of temporal lobe epilepsy.
 
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