[peacedove]

Had to take xanax at work again. And then I was just in a melancholy daze the rest of the day. But at least I wasn't in a panic.

Went to the gym with my boyfriend. I was excited about it. I want to get in shape so I don't have to worry about people asking me if I'm pregnant at work... cuz I'm NOT. And I want to look good so I can feel confident. But all I know how to do is ride the bike machines... and my boyfriend gets mad cuz he has to like coach me the whole time and doesn't get to do what he wants. So that ended in a fight.

Nothing makes me happy. Only quick fixes... and they only last a minute. Getting drunk, eating, buying shit. All the harmful addictive habits. That's what I do for fun. I try to do something healthy like exercise and look what happens.

Now I'm at home and all I want to do is sleep or watch TV... I just wanna be lazy. But I can't. I was sweating at the gym so I guess I should take a shower huh. I'm so lazy taking showers has become a chore for me. I took one last night, I shouldn't have to take one again it's just not natural. Ha... yeah right. I don't even care anymore. I'll just go to work smelly.

Wake up, work, sleep, wake up again. What is the point.

 

[Scattered]

Thats what I've been saying for quite a while. But hey, I guess a bunch of depressed, unsatisfied, people who need to buy things to feel ok is good for the economy.

Can't wait till I can pick up an xbox360.

 

[Guest]

Some boyfriend.

 

[Martinelv]

Peavedove - I don't want to state the obvious, but I will anyway. You're depressed. Depressed as hell! Almost every word you've just written could have been taken verbatim from a Psychology manual for a description of someone who is depressed.

I know you're trying to do something about it, like things such as going to the gym, but with depression it has a habit of twisting your expectations, and every single time you get a little knock-back it can seem like the end of the world. When we are depressed we think in black and white terms..there is either good or bad....things work out or I'll give up forever.
Don't give up. Please?

 

[Kelson12]

I feel the same way right now. I am super depressed as well. Thing is I don't know how to get rid of it and/or make it better.

I've tried meds. I'm on a small dosage of Zoloft at the moment (50 mg). It's just hard to stay positive when everything is perceived through a depressed mind.

I've been dealing with this for so long, I just don't know what to do anymore.

Kelson

 

[maria]

I'm depressed too or I don't know, I just want to go to sleep and never wake up. I've got two study places, parents who support me financially (of their emotional support I don't care), the best friend in the world, some new people who want to get to know me, physical health, and so on and so on. I could and should be happy or even satisfied but I'm not. What can you do? I don't know.

 

[person3]

so your boyfriend HAD to coach you? and he had NO OTHER choice but this compulsion that he MUST be the one to coach you?

 

[Guest]

...SNAP!!!...and deliver us from ego...OMG, now THAT is funny!!! Thats probably one of the best lines I have seen in quite a while. Nice.

Tony

 

[Tom Servo]

Some boyfriend.

Yeah, no kidding. So he'd rather be off using the Abdominizer than spending time hanging out with you while you use the Bowflex? Uhm, I've seen your photo submission; I don't think you'd have much trouble finding a more enthusiastic coach.

 

[Universal]

your boyfriend should really be more supportive. you having dp and all.

 

[fingertingle]

Showers are so annoying. They make me want to shave my head.

 

[Guest]

Uhm, I've seen your photo submission; I don't think you'd have much trouble finding a more enthusiastic coach.

Fresh Prince style 'Yaknowwhamtalkinbout'



Seconded. :wink:

 

[agentcooper]

Showers are so annoying. They make me want to shave my head.

i hate maintenance of all kinds. you're born and you die and in between is a whole lot of maintenance...showers, cleaning, brushing teeth, doctor's appts, dental work, working out...etc...

 

[peacedove]

so your boyfriend HAD to coach you? and he had NO OTHER choice but this compulsion that he MUST be the one to coach you?

No, no, see he has wanted to join the gym for a long time but I never wanted to cuz I'd feel lost and I'm nervous around people, I thought it'd be like gym class in high school. So it's not that he HAD to coach me it's that I wanted him to cuz I'm too much of a baby to go off on my own.

But I only joined cuz he said he'd be right by my side. I mean I know he can't just coach me forever, but I thought he could at least do it 'til I got a routine down and he could do his weights while I'm on a bike or something until then.

But he says going to the gym with me is too stressful for him. He says it should be a positive experience and I'm ruining it with my negativity. He threw his Bally's card at me and told me to cancel his membership. I need a girl to go with or something.

 

[Guest]

No offence but he sounds like a twat, I wouldn't do that to anyone let alone a partner.

 

[Tom Servo]

No offence but he sounds like a twat, I wouldn't do that to anyone let alone a partner.

I've gotta agree with mrmole, even if he did try to poison me with his black pudding recipe. I don't know your boyfriend's side of the story and all that, and I don't know whether you love him or not, but it really doesn't sound like he's that nice to you. So what if you need a bit of help socially; I'm sure he knew that from the start. No wonder your DP has been worse lately. It isn't the lamotrigine, it's that Bally card he threw at you.

I'm either having deja vu, or I just had the same conversation with my daughter two days ago.