This is really just a metaphor I use to express my emotions. Its hard for me to express whats wrong with me in complex psychological terms because I'm not educated in that area so for the sake of being specific I have to create my own way of expressing these feelings.
Life to me is like a story or a series of small stories that we tell ourselves. Having a story is like being connected. In order to be connected you have to frame your life in a specific way, in a specific context, with certain emotions. These seperate parts come together and form our story of who we are, in the world as we envision it, for the purpose(s) that we have imagined for ourselves.
At some point I lose that story, either I simply do not have a story at all or I temporarily cease to understand its "plot"; At these times I do not know who I am, or why I am, or what role I have previously played in my life story. Think of what it would be like for a character of a novel if all of a sudden the narrator stopped. That character would, in a sense, cease to exist.
These times come most often when I am isolated. The presence of other "characters" spur along the story and when there is an absence of them or an absence of action, the story stops and ceases to exist. At the moment I'm trying to regain this story, but fear that someday there will no longer be anything to tell.
Life to me is like a story or a series of small stories that we tell ourselves. Having a story is like being connected. In order to be connected you have to frame your life in a specific way, in a specific context, with certain emotions. These seperate parts come together and form our story of who we are, in the world as we envision it, for the purpose(s) that we have imagined for ourselves.
At some point I lose that story, either I simply do not have a story at all or I temporarily cease to understand its "plot"; At these times I do not know who I am, or why I am, or what role I have previously played in my life story. Think of what it would be like for a character of a novel if all of a sudden the narrator stopped. That character would, in a sense, cease to exist.
These times come most often when I am isolated. The presence of other "characters" spur along the story and when there is an absence of them or an absence of action, the story stops and ceases to exist. At the moment I'm trying to regain this story, but fear that someday there will no longer be anything to tell.
