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Hey guys :) Heather here

Im 18 and I've had DP/DR for almost 3 months now

I was doing some thinking today (somehow) and I made the decision to leave the forums for a bit. I'm not well known here at all but I am a VERY frequent observer here. That is exactly why I'm leaving for a bit. I made this decision earlier when I woke up today feeling REALLY detached/ disconnected from my surroundings and self, I then sat in bed all day crying and freaking out. My boyfriend then called me because I said I was having a bad day ( he recently moved to california) and listened to me ranting and crying about how I feel like I'm never going to get better and how lost and disconnected I feel. He is seriously the most supportive and caring boyfriend, even though he isnt physically here to help, hes always there to talk and help when he can.

He was discussing everything with me and how I feel and was asking me what I've been doing to try and get better, I then realized that I really havnt been doing much at all to try and feel better . ALL I do all day is sit on these forums and others like this, DP/DR has become my absolute obsession. I honestly blame myself for how I feel now, because if I just got off these forums when this first started, I KNOW I wouldnt be as bad as I am now. I spent atleast 2 months, just about everyday almost all day on these forums.

If you do the same thing I do, come to these forums everyday or always looking up your symptoms, please do it carefully, do it for the absolute knowledge you need. This place has helped me a lot, it was my fault that I let this become my obsession.

I don't remember what real/ normal like feels like. I have horrible memory. I can't "experience" life. I feel disconnected from myself and my surroundings 24/7. Although everyday I have doubt that I will ever feel normal again, I truly do deep down in my heart believe that I will get over this. I need to leave and concentrate on trying to recover, whether or not I actually ever do, no one should spend every single day on these forums or worrying about how bad they feel.

Good luck to everyone out there, no matter how bad and "gone" you feel, try to hold on to some kind of hope and please keep fighting. I know every single second of every day is a fight. There are many people who thought that they would never ever get better, and they did. Please never give up.

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