As I have mentioned in a few other posts I believe I have been getting better and better but the last couple months have really shown me that I am. It all became apparent last Saturday as I had the scariest situation of my life happen and there was zero increase of DR/DP during it.
So I live in Honolulu and last Saturday I received the alert on my phone "BALLISTIC MISSILE INBOUND FOR HAWAII PLEASE SEEK SHELTER IMMEDIATELY THIS IS NOT A DRILL"
Now I gotta be honest my heart felt like it stopped and my whole body went ice cold, I told my girlfriend "we gotta fucking go honey" and she started freaking out and was on the verge of tears and she had no idea what to do. Normally I will have a panic/anxiety attack over small things like too many people in a room, or public speaking, but this time I was very calm and level headed I told her to put food and water in her backpack and I did the same with mine and grabbed all the essentials and we were out the door in under 2 minutes.
She was on the phone with her dad saying her goodbyes as I drove us to the school we work at (40 second drive from our place) since I know it can be used as a shelter, as we pull up there are a few families standing around not knowing what to do, they tell us they tried getting into the school but it is all locked up. I immediately turned around and started driving towards the nearest valley where there all tall mountains on both sides of us and bathrooms with running water all the while keeping track of how much time we have left (they tell you that once there is a warning you have about 12 minutes before the bomb hits)
We ran into some people who did the same but they told us that they got texts from people in the military saying that it was a false alarm, we both sighed with relief and then I called my parents in MI to tell them what happened. The whole time I didn't feel scared nor was I afraid to die, my body went into survival mode pretty much but it was kind of peaceful... my girlfriend thanked me for keeping it together and she was also surprised that I didn't have a full blown anxiety attack.
But the past couple months I have made some serious changes in my life and I almost feel 100% cured and I thought I would share with everyone on here what I have been doing so that maybe it can help you, I have been dealing with DR/DP for 10 years 24/7 and its time to say goodbye.
I really have to thank my girlfriend because we both have been dieting and exercising way more than we ever have before and any time I feel like caving in she kicks my ass back on track and vice versa. We have been watching a lot of health documentaries on Netflix and other streaming services and a guy in one of them stated he wondered why he stopped feeling like he did when he was a kid (full of energy/life, no depression, ect) and I said "I have that thought every damn day thanks to DR/DP"
Well this guy basically cut all the crap out of his life and in 30 days he was off his meds and talked about how great he felt, so I took what I learned from that and some other documentaries and started applying it to my life and I will do a quick breakdown since this is starting to get lengthy.
- I cut out all diary and bread and changed to a diet that is only fruit and veggies (I will have meat occasionally when we go out to eat once a month)
-I cut out caffeine, booze (I will drink beer occasionally but no where as much as I used to)
-I cut out porn and masturbation
-I cut out sugar and processed foods
-I juice fast for a couple days every so often
-I cut down my screen time/time spent on my iphone/xbox drastically since it makes my DR way worse
-Started exercising EVERYDAY doing cardio/workouts/yoga on weekdays and 6 hour long hikes/climbing on weekends
I started losing weight and looking a little better but I am feeling WAY better than I have in a long time, the fatness in my face/neck went away which made me happy to look in the mirror (Normally I see my reflection and all I can think is "I fucking hate you") and at first this was hard, really hard, but now it is easy and I no longer feel sluggish. I used to come home from work and crash and feel like shit but now when I come home I still have a ton of energy so I will go running or start cleaning my entire apartment, I also started sleeping way better as a result.
Throughout my life I have never kept a new years resolution, every year I say "I am gonna get in shape!" or "I am gonna find a new job/achieve my goals" but I have NEVER done it, so this year I made a list of resolutions from the past 10 years and I am going to do them all because I can't go another year of being a piece of shit. I also put daily reminders in my phone to motivate me and when I feel like I start to slip I will watch another Health documentary to remind myself that sitting 8 hours at work and then sitting for 6 when I get home while eating bad food isn't how we are meant to live, it's no surprise why mental illness is so widespread nowadays.
All I can say is its helping me, maybe it won't help you, maybe you have to find your own thing, but I have also been trying to learn new things and take up new hobbies as well because I figured if I change everything in my life there is no way that I can feel the same as I do now.
So this might be my last post, if I start reading/researching DP/DR for too long then it is all I can think about and I will start feeling depressed and hopeless and after 10 years of this bullshit I just gotta try and walk away from it. I may not ever be 100% again but I am MUCH better now and I would rather feel this way for the rest of my life than how I normally do.
Happy new year everybody hope this year is your best one yet.