[kylekatarn]

Hey, I've got several good questions and I have fun answering them using video as a visual aid to explain things. I'm not a qualified healthcare professional - but I am in school for counseling, and I myself recovered from DP and panic disorder (which is my primary credential

)
My first video was about my own experience, and it has some helpful tips (that worked for me) in the last 2 minutes.

Anyway - if you have DP or anxiety related questions (or anything on your mind) I could answer, that would be helpful (for others too.)
Cheers!

 

[Aridity]

I don't have anxiety anymore,no physical symptoms atleast. I have a very blank mind, zero emotions. I have no panic nothing. Basically I am just a body with no personality etc. How in the hell can I battle this? If the anxiety is not present, also I do had a rough childhood etc with traumas,but I can't recall them and they don't feel like they happened to me. How can I treat them then? If they don't bother me at all.

 

[James_80]

I don't have anxiety anymore,no physical symptoms atleast. I have a very blank mind, zero emotions. I have no panic nothing. Basically I am just a body with no personality etc. How in the hell can I battle this? If the anxiety is not present, also I do had a rough childhood etc with traumas,but I can't recall them and they don't feel like they happened to me. How can I treat them then? If they don't bother me at all.

Sounds like ptsd or a depression. Have you tried drugs, such as prozac or venlaxafine? If you would prefer to try something more adventurous, then mdma has a good track record with ptsd/trauma but this should be done in a therapeutic environment. If you are unable to recall traumas then you need to be able to open the door somehow and face them to allow you to process them and unblock the emotions. A good therapist might be able to do this but certainly not a cbt therapist. Person centered or psychodynamic therapy might help you to talk things through and process what is going on. just a bunch of suggestions off the top of my head.

 

[Aridity]

Sounds like ptsd or a depression. Have you tried drugs, such as prozac or venlaxafine? If you would prefer to try something more adventurous, then mdma has a good track record with ptsd/trauma but this should be done in a therapeutic environment. If you are unable to recall traumas then you need to be able to open the door somehow and face them to allow you to process them and unblock the emotions. A good therapist might be able to do this but certainly not a cbt therapist. Person centered or psychodynamic therapy might help you to talk things through and process what is going on. just a bunch of suggestions off the top of my head.

Thank you for your input, I have tried Citalopram I felt better on that one than I am doing now, but had to quit due some side effects when I added Lamotrigine. I had many much anxiety my entire life basically. Now it seems like I have exhausted all my neurotransmitters and I can't even produce anything. Like my brain is just worn out because of all the mental stress troughout the years etc. Hmm mdma, I am way to scared to try that shit. Never did drugs besides weed hasj. My psych did prescribe me low dose of AP. Amisulpride which should increase Dopamine. But I am to scared to take it.

 

[James_80]

Thank you for your input, I have tried Citalopram I felt better on that one than I am doing now, but had to quit due some side effects when I added Lamotrigine. I had many much anxiety my entire life basically. Now it seems like I have exhausted all my neurotransmitters and I can't even produce anything. Like my brain is just worn out because of all the mental stress troughout the years etc. Hmm mdma, I am way to scared to try that shit. Never did drugs besides weed hasj. My psych did prescribe me low dose of AP. Amisulpride which should increase Dopamine. But I am to scared to take it.

Some ssris can numb your emotions quite strongly. Maybe the one you are on is doing that. It might be helping the anxiety but blocking your emotions at the same time. I found fluoxetine to be less numbing in that regard. Citalopram really turned me into a zombie. Of course, antidepressants affect people in different ways. Perhaps you could try changing your antidepressant or lowering the dose to see if that helps. It is likely helping your anxiety symptoms at the moment though so be careful if/when changing.

 

[Aridity]

Some ssris can numb your emotions quite strongly. Maybe the one you are on is doing that. It might be helping the anxiety but blocking your emotions at the same time. I found fluoxetine to be less numbing in that regard. Citalopram really turned me into a zombie. Of course, antidepressants affect people in different ways. Perhaps you could try changing your antidepressant or lowering the dose to see if that helps. It is likely helping your anxiety symptoms at the moment though so be careful if/when changing.

I am not on anything at all right now for a very long time. To scared so medication is not the cause. It's really my brain it self, I actually think I need something to stimulate it really. I am completely dead and not here. Severe detached from life.

 

[kylekatarn]

I am not on anything at all right now for a very long time. To scared so medication is not the cause. It's really my brain it self, I actually think I need something to stimulate it really. I am completely dead and not here. Severe detached from life.

Sounds like you're stuck in a panic cycle to me; my guess is your biggest fear is being detached forever - and so you get anxiety about it, which produces stress hormones, which in turn produces this feeling of detachment (one of the first, and more powerful symptoms of anxiety - especially if you're a sensitive / self checky person)

As a token of comfort...

- You aren't dead or completely numb; or there wouldn't be a part of you on this forum still seeking answers -

- You used words like"scared" - which means you still have something inside that feels, enjoys, wants to live, and is worth fighting for.

I'm no doctor, but if I were you i'd start by accepting your personal fear is detachment - and anxiety perpetuates our personal fear (like scarecrow from batman) - whatever you're most afraid of is the dessert you get served constantly until you can break the cycle - which can be broken using CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) in one of 3 places... Thoughts, feelings, or behaviors. Talk to a counselor who specializes in CBT, and with great effort you will escape and return to yourself. (I'll add a visual aid for this in my next video.)

Good luck!

Any more questions I can throw in a video?

 

[Cali123]

Sounds like you're stuck in a panic cycle to me; my guess is your biggest fear is being detached forever - and so you get anxiety about it, which produces stress hormones, which in turn produces this feeling of detachment (one of the first, and more powerful symptoms of anxiety - especially if you're a sensitive / self checky person)
As a token of comfort...
- You aren't dead or completely numb; or there wouldn't be a part of you on this forum still seeking answers -
- You used words like"scared" - which means you still have something inside that feels, enjoys, wants to live, and is worth fighting for.
I'm no doctor, but if I were you i'd start by accepting your personal fear is detachment - and anxiety perpetuates our personal fear (like scarecrow from batman) - whatever you're most afraid of is the dessert you get served constantly until you can break the cycle - which can be broken using CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) in one of 3 places... Thoughts, feelings, or behaviors. Talk to a counselor who specializes in CBT, and with great effort you will escape and return to yourself. (I'll add a visual aid for this in my next video.)
Good luck!
Any more questions anyone?

My only problem is feeling in my body. How can I feel more in my body? I feel so light, like nothing and floaty. I've tried grounding exercises but it causes more of the feeling.

 

[kylekatarn]

My only problem is feeling in my body. How can I feel more in my body? I feel so light, like nothing and floaty. I've tried grounding exercises but it causes more of the feeling.

You'll feel floaty until you can drop the level of stress hormone your body is producing because you are anxious about the ungrounded feeling. You'll have to train your mind to believe these are just symptoms that will go away once you balance your anxiety, and that will take a little time - but at least you have your own personal adventure to go on fraught with demons and peril - You'll get to raise your sword and feel the personal accomplishment when all is done - and you'll be a better human being than you were before (and even more grounded.)

Talk to a counselor who focuses on (CTB) cognitive behavioral therapy to stop your panic cycle (which is what's producing these feelings.)

Good luck. Let me know if you have any more questions.

 

[Al_pk]

Hi Kyle,

I noticed in your video you mentioned your mind had made negative associations and you experienced anxiety with all thoughts. I feel very much the same at the moment, my mind spins out when I'm confronted by anything to do with existence. It's so savage that I feel anxiety and doom when I'm on my own and should be relaxing as my mind is always making uncomfortable observations about reality, specifically to do with time.

The worst part is that the acute dpdr feeling has gone, but it was like it came in like a whirlwind and completely warped my thought processes, and my time perception is completely up the spout.

I try to live life as bravely as possible and do as much as I can. For a long time I was housebound but nowadays I am able to get out and do more, also able to sit here and type which wasn't possible 6 months ago. I try and be sociable, but nomatter what I do the existential stuff is always present, it gets very hard to tolerate sometimes.

How long did it take you to recover? it's been a year for me now

 

[kylekatarn]

Hi Kyle,

I noticed in your video you mentioned your mind had made negative associations and you experienced anxiety with all thoughts. I feel very much the same at the moment, my mind spins out when I'm confronted by anything to do with existence. It's so savage that I feel anxiety and doom when I'm on my own and should be relaxing as my mind is always making uncomfortable observations about reality, specifically to do with time.

The worst part is that the acute dpdr feeling has gone, but it was like it came in like a whirlwind and completely warped my thought processes, and my time perception is completely up the spout.

I try to live life as bravely as possible and do as much as I can. For a long time I was housebound but nowadays I am able to get out and do more, also able to sit here and type which wasn't possible 6 months ago. I try and be sociable, but nomatter what I do the existential stuff is always present, it gets very hard to tolerate sometimes.

How long did it take you to recover? it's been a year for me now

Like yourself my acute phase was intense and quickly leaned toward existential ruminations including concepts like time. I completely understand feeling like your thought process is permanently affected but rest assured if you continue living life and understanding your own personal panic cycle you will gradually continue returning to your old self. For me it took 2-3 years, but it's dependent on the individual. I wouldn't focus on recovery time, but instead the silver linings of things - for example you can go outside now... and communicate with people on this forum. A couple years isn't that bad in the scheme of things, highschool takes 4, and so does a commitment to the armed services - and those guys sit in the desert in sweltering heat carrying 100lbs gear. Additionally the personal growth you'll experience navigating this intense experience will make you a better, more well rounded, wiser individual than you otherwise would have been. Silver linings.

As far as time warping specifically - totally normal. Time is one of the first things to go out of whack with anxiety because there's no need for it in survival mode; you'll have to learn how to accept that, and enjoy things from moment to moment - like peeling your socks off at the end of the day, or the sun on your face, or waving at a neighbor. Once you have enough time under your belt you'll gradually notice your return to your old self (mind you your old self probably had problems like everyone does - but at least you'll feel more like a "normal" person.) Don't get discouraged by feeling like you're moving backwards because it's highly likely you don't notice how far you've come - it's like watching a plant grow. You'll be fine, I promise.

- just keep doing what you're doing, from the sound of it you're doing everything right. If you have more specific questions I'm happy to help if I can.

 

[Al_pk]

Thanks Kyle

 

[kylekatarn]

Thanks Kyle

My pleasure if I can reduce your stress and anxiety. Any more specific questions? (standing by)

 

[Al_pk]

No I just like to hear other peoples' perspective on the condition sometimes, at the moment I find it very easy to fall down the 'i'll never get better' rabbit hole so I appreciate the perspective on time frames and focussing on what is going well rather than what is not

 

[Patrick H.]

Who is the person at 3:30 in the vid?

 

[kylekatarn]

Who is the person at 3:30 in the vid?

I unfortunately don't know - I took the clip some time ago and forgot to write down any information to credit these people, which I am sorry about. That being said I'm sure I originally found her searching depersonalization on youtube and filtering for high view counts and clicking on pretty faces... like we all do . If you do find her name let me know.

 

[anthony_1990]

Hi Kyle,

I know I'm late for that video but if you could still reply here that would mean the world to me.

It seems that you have collected a good amount of knowledge on DP/DR and I would be really grateful to have your opinion on the following.

My biggest question is: "Is this really DP/DR ?"

I see many descriptions on the web and on this forum saying DP/DR is a feeling of detachment from our surroundings or ourselves and an overall sense of numbness.

But in my case, external things or my body do not feel unreal. I'd rather say that I feel "drunk" or "dazed".

To me it really feels like being stuck in that state when you just woke up from a nap and you're a bit foggy and not 100% alert. I could also describe it as the level of consciousness we have during a flu. Everything is tiring to do, we are dizzy, not paying attention, etc.

I have feelings, I even have some motivation here and there but everytime I am trying to do something, I feel that "drunkness" feeling growing. I am usually a pretty fit guy but ever since that condition started for me, every time I try to do some running or other exercise I feel dizzy like if I just got my third vodka shot.

Finally, I feel like my trains of thoughts are now the same as when I'm drunk or extremely exhausted. I mean, my thoughts, my ideas don't click like they would under normal circumstances.

My vision is also really weird (like after a few drinks)

I am not taking any drugs, medication and I'm not drinking any alcohol.

Therefore, my question is: Do you think that still fits into the DR/DP spectrum? Therefore lowering my anxiety level would be the key?

Thanks so much.

 

[kylekatarn]

Hi Kyle,

I know I'm late for that video but if you could still reply here that would mean the world to me.

It seems that you have collected a good amount of knowledge on DP/DR and I would be really grateful to have your opinion on the following.

My biggest question is: "Is this really DP/DR ?"

I see many descriptions on the web and on this forum saying DP/DR is a feeling of detachment from our surroundings or ourselves and an overall sense of numbness.

But in my case, external things or my body do not feel unreal. I'd rather say that I feel "drunk" or "dazed".

To me it really feels like being stuck in that state when you just woke up from a nap and you're a bit foggy and not 100% alert. I could also describe it as the level of consciousness we have during a flu. Everything is tiring to do, we are dizzy, not paying attention, etc.

I have feelings, I even have some motivation here and there but everytime I am trying to do something, I feel that "drunkness" feeling growing. I am usually a pretty fit guy but ever since that condition started for me, every time I try to do some running or other exercise I feel dizzy like if I just got my third vodka shot.

Finally, I feel like my trains of thoughts are now the same as when I'm drunk or extremely exhausted. I mean, my thoughts, my ideas don't click like they would under normal circumstances.

My vision is also really weird (like after a few drinks)

I am not taking any drugs, medication and I'm not drinking any alcohol.

Therefore, my question is: Do you think that still fits into the DR/DP spectrum? Therefore lowering my anxiety level would be the key?

Thanks so much.

The label really isn't helpful since there's such a wide range of "symptoms" people can have / develop; but really what DP/DR and what you're describing have in common is anxiety; and the "symptoms" you're describing could likely be attributed to the cyclical release of stress hormone in your body from being fearful of the symptoms. That's the panic cycle.

So... DP/DR? (shrugs) - couldn't tell you, but treatment is the same. Assuming you saw a doc who gave you a clean bill of health - I'd focus on Cognitive behavioral therapy to help you identify where your getting stuck in the panic cycle, (you could also just research it on your own and give it a shot) - and time. That's all you need.

The brain fog very common, and vision problems.

You have no need for memory if your body's panic response is triggered via stress hormone...

Your vision could do funny things because blood is pumping to vital organs and cutting flow to extremities in case you lose a limb...

And my guess is you're extra sensitive to things happening in your body... self checking etc... (me too) - but really that just continues the release of stress hormone when you get wigged out because you feel weird (because of the release of stress hormone.) It's just a shi**y cycle. You'll break it. Takes a special kind of faith that's not dissimilar from a personal Odyssey... sirens calling you to the rocks but you'll have to believe what you know and stay steadfast... I don't actually remember what happened in the Odyssey... maybe I should have used lord of the rings... but I'll spare you a bunch of analogies

You sound well, just a little concerned about some symptoms of anxiety.

Let me know if you have any more questions.

Cheers.

 

[anthony_1990]

The label really isn't helpful since there's such a wide range of "symptoms" people can have / develop; but really what DP/DR and what you're describing have in common is anxiety; and the "symptoms" you're describing could likely be attributed to the cyclical release of stress hormone in your body from being fearful of the symptoms. That's the panic cycle.

So... DP/DR? (shrugs) - couldn't tell you, but treatment is the same. Assuming you saw a doc who gave you a clean bill of health - I'd focus on Cognitive behavioral therapy to help you identify where your getting stuck in the panic cycle, (you could also just research it on your own and give it a shot) - and time. That's all you need.

The brain fog very common, and vision problems.

You have no need for memory if your body's panic response is triggered via stress hormone...

Your vision could do funny things because blood is pumping to vital organs and cutting flow to extremities in case you lose a limb...

And my guess is you're extra sensitive to things happening in your body... self checking etc... (me too) - but really that just continues the release of stress hormone when you get wigged out because you feel weird (because of the release of stress hormone.) It's just a shi**y cycle. You'll break it. Takes a special kind of faith that's not dissimilar from a personal Odyssey... sirens calling you to the rocks but you'll have to believe what you know and stay steadfast... I don't actually remember what happened in the Odyssey... maybe I should have used lord of the rings... but I'll spare you a bunch of analogies

You sound well, just a little concerned about some symptoms of anxiety.

Let me know if you have any more questions.

Cheers.

This makes sense. Thanks a lot for taking the time to reply Kyle