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I'll give a rundown of my situation "real quick". My dpdr (more so dr) started after quitting HEAVY cannabis use in late February. I had essentially an unlimited supply and smoked as much as I wanted usually between 7 and 14 grams a day. This use persisted for about 4 years. Upon quitting in February I was hit with full blown panic attacks that seemed to be constant and a sense of the world around me being a figment of my subconscious or just fake. I was diagnosed with cannabis withdrawal syndrome in the ER and told to just stick it out and that I'll be back to normal soon enough. Well normal never came and anxiety stayed depression also hit me like a freight train to the point of being suicidal. A week after quitting and dealing with this dreadful hopeless feeling I went into another hospital with a psychiatric department and explained my situation. Well they pink slipped me into the psych ward I think due to my panicked state and suicidal ideation. I spent 5 days in there. Every time I got the opportunity to talk with the psychiatrist and describe my feelings of dissociation (which is so hard to describe) he looked at me like I was crazy and switched my meds. Every night I was in there I got a different antidepressant or antipsychotic which seems odd to me. I left with a script of olanzapine and lamictal and a bipolar diagnosis. The only basis of this diagnosis was that my dad has the same diagnosis. I filled neither script because I felt the psychiatrist had no clue what was going on. During countless hours of research I found that lamictal is probably the most common med to help people with dpdr so I filled it. It seemed to get rid of my racing intrusive thoughts within 45 minutes of my first 25mg dose this finally gave me the ability to relax for the first time in two or three weeks. I could feel emotions again, I could cry, I could laugh, I could genuinely smile. The derealization was not nearly as strong but still there. I felt it was manageable enough to do normal stuff like go to the grocery store or go for a hike. I've only been on lamictal a week now and haven't upped dose yet so I may be speaking too soon but it is definitely helping me be somewhat normal. I have appointments with a few psychiatrist and therapist in hope that I can find one that has experience or just knowledge on dpdr rather than deal with this on my own and hope it subsides sooner than later.
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