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Just wanted to introduce myself...

881 Views 3 Replies 3 Participants Last post by  MrMortgage
Hey folks! I'm glad I found this forum. I never new that DP&DR existed. I thought I was the only one that had this/these disorders. I've been suffering with it for about 7 months now. Ever since I started smoking weed it would come and go but only for an hour or two. I never new what the feeling was.

At the start of this year I was messing with some speed, being clean off of weed for a year. I had a really bad trip off the speed and after that I never felt the same again.

Feeling funny for about 2 weeks my fiance tells me she can't deal with me anymore (not cause of the disorder but past relationship issues) and leaves me. This made me feel even more wierd.

After about a month or two of crying everyday thinking that I was going insane, I went to church and was saved by Jesus Christ. I self diagnosed myself with anxiety and depression disorder and tried many self help techniques.

About two weeks ago I found this forum and read all the symptoms and found out that I have DP and DR. The DP and the DR cause my anxiety and depression.

I have not taken any medication or seen a doctor. I'm going to give it all I can before I turn to meds.

I can say that it now being almost September, and in April I thought I was going to have to go into a mental hospital I've come along way with just exersice and eating right. Trying to stay busy and meeting new friends of the female type :oops:

Overall I have to say I have made fair improvement in the past 4 months.

All I can do is just keep on keepin' on. I'm sure all of you can agree, that when the DP/DR is on you bad you can't figure how you keep from going insane and how to keep thinking rationaly.

I just wanted to say HI -Mr. Mortgage
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Wow, can't believe 6 years have passed since this last post. I wanted to say hello to everyone on the forum. I'm not sure how many people still come on when I used to come on. This forum really helped me through some hard times. Dealing with DR was terrible. I remember also dealing with intrusive thoughts of doing horrible things. I truly thought I was going insane.

About a month ago I underwent aortic valve replacement surgery for a defective heart valve I was born with. I truly thought my heart defect fixed itself over the years of growing, I stopped going to get it check out when I was 12 years old which was a stupid thing to do. At 26 years old I was on the treadmill and fainted. I didn't have insurance at the time so as a cash patient I went to the doctor to have my heart checked out... Turns out I needed this life saving surgery or I was going to die soon. At first I was in denial, plus I had no way of paying for it.

Long story longer a year goes by and I start feeling short of breath, fatigue, and chest pain day to day. I go to the county hospital, it was my only option with no insurance. Turns out the doctors there said my condition isn't as bad as the first doctor said and I may need surgery in the future but not for awhile. I shouldn't be feeling all these symptoms because my condition is not that advanced. I was told most of the symptoms are probably anxiety related. The doctor then cleared me to exercise and go about life pretty normal, just not to do anything too extreme. I end up getting a job with full benefits a month later.

8 months of working and still feeling really crappy I decided to go get checked up again. Turns out my situation has not improved and I need surgery ASAP. WHAT TIMING, AT LEAST I HAVE INSURANCE NOW! I get the surgery done and here I am a month later on disability for another month or two before going back to work.

I said all that to say this, the surgery was no cake walk. Your heart is stopped, and machines are keeping you alive. After cutting open your chest and into your heart your body is in shock. It take 8-12 weeks for the initial recovery and about a full year to really recover. After an experience like that many people get depressed and the list goes on.

In the hospital I thought I was losing my mind for awhile. I got home and felt really weak and out of it. At about 2 weeks at home I started to get depressed and getting intrusive thoughts. DP and DR started to look me in the eye again. I continued to pray and hold fast to my confessions of healing. Today I'm still a bit depressed and the intrusive thoughts have really calmed down. The DP and DR have also calmed way down and I'm feeling like eventually as my body heals and gets used to all the new parts and medication I'll be better than I have in a long time, maybe my whole life.

DP and DR really suck bad. It seems like whenever I go through something really traumatic it wants to come back on. I want to encourage all of you dealing with it now. Don't ever give up the fight no matter how grim it may seem. I held fast to my confession in Christ Jesus from the beginning when I first started this thread up until now. It's not easy, there is no quick answer or quick cure but you must not ever give up. Like Martin Lawrence said, "You ride this m0t$her%u$er till the wheels fall off!" As you walk through the fire you pull others out with you. God Bless you all.
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