[shadowness]

my main problem is really accepting that i am a person and that i am who i am and will always be until i die...

i almost feel too much like me...dispite the fact i do not feel like me...if that makes any sense!

in a way...i just cannot accept life...cannot accept death...cannot accept me...i am desperately trying to enjoy life and to just be who i am but nothing feel worth while or meaningful...

anyone else relate or got comments?

thank you for reading

 

[Guest]

Oh yeah, i've got this.

I've got existaphobia. I never asked to be concieved. My parents just assumed (self-righteous bastards) that I wanted to live. Everyone just wants to escape their own shell and live as someone else sometimes.

 

[dreamcatcher]

i am who i am....am who i am....i need no excuses.....i dont give a damm...at least i can say i am what i am....

or the song goes something like that....

.....i think its something we all need to accept :?

 

[dreamcatcher]

just trying to cheer u up shadow

 

[Guest]

Shadowness, Im scared to exist too.
I feel that me existing at all is bad and that no matter what I do, its wrong.
Being me is wrong.

Im aware that these thoughts dont leave any space for my Self.
Have to 'change' the thoughts, or at least see that what I think
is not based in Reality, but a result from past experiences (although to me my thoughts are True, I FEEL they are True, but they are not), they are conclusions I made about myself as a reaction to certain events.
Complex. But its possible to change the way you see yourself.

Hope this helps?

 

[Guest]

I get this a lot.

I've seen the term Existential Angst and I can relate to that.

There are times I've felt like Zig but I usually just live with it because I was so terrified of living, of being here on this planet with so much suffering and ignorance, that the thought of me being normal again and being able to forget the things I've seen or know (all the bad and hurt) just seemed way out of grasp. Lately I've been trying to push through it though. To see reality. Man, I can't remember it exactly now, but Cornell West said something like "We are able to bear a great burden once we get down to reality." That's not exact, but it's the jist of what he was saying. It's a much better way to live. For me, it makes it easier to remember how I used to be and how I used to feel during certain situations. because even though you think you might have completely lost all your sense of self, it's still there. It really is. You just have to be comfortable with who you are. Accept your limitations. It's not like the movies.

This post has made my mind wander and the quote by Albert Camus comes to mind. "There is but one truly important philosophical question and that is suicide." I dunno. Just thought that you might likek that.

 

[Guest]

Yeah.. thats all self-evident..

So just accept it.. understand the plight in which you have found yourself.. and make an attempt to have fun regardless.

thats the best you can do.

You know why afterschool ABC specials speak in optimistic lies and good sounding sentances...? Because its a lie. Its a lie.. and thats how they getcha. By making you feel good about something not true.. Sanitary words for the unenlightened.

I find that by using sanitized invented catch phrases such as "carpe diem" and "live fast die young" that pertain exclusively to those with concious knowledge of their short life spans, you can trick yourself out of feeling as if life represents futility. It helps me at least..

Learn to lie to yourself and you can be happy with anything. Think world war 2.

eDfGr33n
"there is nothing wrong with a lie"

 

[shadowness]

thank you to everyone who replied....

i just feel like i have been forced into a life i do not want...but at the same time want to live 'normally' and to the best i can so much!

but thank you so much everyone for responding...very helpful and a good read

i am pretty optimistic about things but the dp and dr just makes everything so flat and dull and lifeless...as if life is purely something that is going on...nothing more...when it can be so much more...

i can remember what it is like to feel normal...so frustrating feeling so close yet so far...

thanks again people and take care

 

[Guest]

Girl cheer up, I have been there is pure hell I know that, I don't know how are your thoughts about dead but the only thought that realy help me to relax was that some day I all af this is going to end, because I am going to dye and that is the most beatufull thing God has gave us! I cannot live 100 years of pain. That is why God has gave us dead, so cheer up, but hey I am not saying that you have to take your life away. No, no, no we will dye but naturaly so cheer up some day this is going to be over for ever! Then cheer up! This is not going to stay for your whole eternity, no when you dye you will forget this! But you will dye naturaly Thanks GOD! Some day this will be over for sure. I am now living 90% of de day normal now, and I am not taking any pills!

 

[Guest]

I'm feeling on top of the world and i'm on 3 different medications. I'd say i'm at 91% so pills are better. Its mathematics.