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So I recently found out I'm suffering from Depersonalization. It's really scary for me since it's gotten so bad. I feel like a robot and can't experience pleasure or happiness. I find nature and everything I look at really weird and oddly "shaped". I feel really confused, lost, and also when I look into a mirror. Even when I look at my hands, legs, arms, etc It looks awkward and unfamiliar. Television is also quite strange to me too. I feel like I don't belong here. It's like I'm lost in a different reality. I miss feeling normal SO MUCH and just enjoying life as well as my surroundings. I used to LOVE nature and being outdoors. Now I just think it all looks bizarre. Feeling extremely alone.
 

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Hello,

I just joined this site myself. I totally relate to what you are saying about feeling like a robot, and feeling lost. It is like being in a different reality. I have been suffering from this for ten years and it ranges from just being too much to even go out of my room to having times of being able to shrug it off. Nature is the most important thing to me, and I know what you mean when you say it feels and looks bizarre. I think all of us who post on here feel very alone, and its good that there is this site. Things I have learned over time is the most important thing to do is to get your anxiety under control. When that happens, you can adjust to feeling in a new reality. It is scary, but I believe it is possible.
 

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Sorry to hear that Emily, things will pick up just keep that in mind.

Hard to write advice but i'll have a go,

Personally, I think keep pursuing a way out but without sitting thinking about this all day. This sound conflicting but I mean a plan for instance could be to try healthy living, buy great food, make smoothies, going to the gym, going for a walk, watching relaxing videos to calm your anxiety. Basically distraction is important tool.

After trying that maybe consider medication.

There is tones of advice on this forum. Just a FYI from what I see, medication wise anyway, there are a few golden medication routes which I or anyone else can tell you from being on the forum and reading trails, but a lot of people get out in different ways, so just don't give up. Some just need an anti depressant for instance, some more complex. I wouldn't start on medication straight away personally, though I don't know how long you've had this though, I am just trying to outline a few things i'd like to know at the start. Hope that helped somewhat..

Oh and I can relate, we all can. You aren't alone.

If you ever wanna chat, just message me. I'm pretty chatty in general to the annoyance of some people I reckon :)
 

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Hi Emily,

I have been suffering for as long as I can remember, I have tried every kind of drugs and treatment, I've even tried killing myself. In the end, I've just resigned to accept this is how I will be the rest of my life. I wish I could tell you one day you'll wake up and it'll be all better or there's some magic doctor that has a cure but as far as I know having searched high and low this is who we are, the sooner you accept the sooner it gets easier. It might not get better but there are things you can do that make it easier. I found the what makes you happy exercise is good, I start small my dog makes me happy so I am happy, what else makes me happy, my house is my safe place and having a safe place makes me happier and so fourth. For a long time, I thought all the joy was gone from the world and I forgot what being happy felt like all together, all you can do is start small. Find a place you can be alone and think, go there and start small. I like going to the gym because I spend more time when I'm looking in the mirror being vain than focusing on the fact I'm looking at a stranger. Somehow the pain makes things more real for me, for a long time I thought I could just drink enough and I'd forget about it but drinking made it worse until I was blackout drunk so I became an alcoholic. I still drink a lot and always straight liquor because it hurts, and I go to the gym for the same reason. I guess what I'm trying to say is learn from me, I only stopped drinking because my liver was failing. Don't go down that path there's plenty of productive ways to cope.

If you need anything I have been dealing with this forever and the hardest part was being alone all the time, I had friends and I could relate to them but no one ever knew how I felt, even when I tried to explain it. I am here, I know how you feel, you are not alone. If you ever need to talk to someone, I am here and there's a pretty solid chance I have been where you are.

michael
 
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